Good friends make life sweeter, Best friends make life bearable

I do have some good friends, some old and some new that lift me up. I also have a best friend who is always there for me. Time seems less of a burden when you share things with friends. They sometimes know you better than you know yourself. They can see what you can't. They support you when you're unable to support yourself.

Friendship is different than fellowship in two important ways. A friend sticks closer than a brother, so the saying goes. A fellow doesn't...for the simple reason is that you can have fellowship with someone without really knowing anything about them at all. You have the same goals and objectives, yet you don't necessary share everything with that person. A friend however gets to know you, is interested in you and is willing to sacrifice their own well-being for you. In turn, you are willing to do the same. That why I like that fact that we have a friend in Jesus, not a hollow fellowship.

I'm not bashing fellowship, because some of the best friendships develop through fellowship. You have to get to know and trust a person before you become friends with them....Much like you have to get to know and trust Jesus before you become friends.

I can say with all honesty that Jesus is my best friend. He is the center of my existence and makes life bearable. Without him, I would have no life. With him, I have abundant life.

Weary and worn....longing for home

I thank God that the heat wave finally abated, but I'm weary. I feel worn out. Too many worries press themselves around me. Sometimes I just feel like burying my head in the sand. I long for my eternal home. I don't want worry anymore about my dwindling funds, what I'm going to eat, if I'll have a roof over my head a month from now or if I'll still be free to do what I need to do.

I know I do have to stop focusing on my own needs. I get myself in trouble with that a lot. I can't see the people around me because I'm too busy feeling sorry for myself. I can't do that anymore. Honestly there is no reason why I should continuously harp on my current situation, dire as it is. No one will listen.

I know what I need to do, but I feel so weary and worn. I can't sleep. I know God loves me, but I also know that he expects me to reach out to others and tell them. I struggle with this daily. How can I reach out to others? God's word also said that their ears will be closed to the old ways. They will not listen. Yet I must press on, just like I am with this job search. Somebody...somewhere needs someone like me with my unique talents....Here I am....is what I need to say....not no...I can't do it. Seriously? You can do this.

I just want to go home.....to my Heavenly Father. I stay because he wants me to stay.

Is this what appears to be a worldwide heatwave God's Wrath?

Yes, I have been reflecting on this since I saw the posts on Facebook of the very high temperatures all over the country with reports of very high temperatures in other parts of the world. It does make me wonder...what if it is God's Wrath? What if he did decide that one of the ways he would unleash his wrath is through a worldwide heatwave. It is interesting to ponder when we also consider that most of the world has turned their collective backs on the One who created them. Would it be any stretch of the imagination that God would do that? No. Yet I still believe that God is merciful. He is not a God who would punish people unjustly....God is Justice personified in his son, Jesus Christ.

I believe that this current heatwave is just a foretaste of what those who continue to stubbornly reject God will be subjected to throughout eternity. It should be a wake-up call for those who are still on the fence as to whether or not they will follow God or man. Believe me....I would rather follow God than man.

For some of us, it is also another sign that the time of his returning is very near. I anxiously await his return while praying continuously for the people around me. I am noticing more and more the suffering, pain and confusion of the mentally and physically challenged, the destitute and those who have been disenfranchised by the current government. Yet I don't fault the government for their condition. I know that there are good people in government that work very hard for them and for all of us. They are the unsung heroes that quietly work miracles in the lives of those they touch. I do thank God for them.

Will this heatwave break soon? Yes....but what have we learned from it? To be prayerful and to reach out to others with God's saving grace before it's too late.

God is Amazing!

Yes, you can say that I've been totally "blown away" by God's blessings in my life. My situation hasn't really changed from last week. I'm still seeking gainful employment...Yet I'm realizing every day that there is a good reason why I'm still struggling like this. I'm also realizing that I'm really blessed by all the Lord has given me. I shouldn't be complaining when there are people all around me that are really struggling. I should instead be helping them anyway I can. I am learning very slowly to take my eyes off me and my situation and focus instead on everyone else. Once I do that, I find that people are pretty amazing.

So, I am...again very slowly....redefining myself. Instead of wallowing in a pit of despair, I decided to move forward and trust that the Lord has the right position for me. Part of that trust is to do the things that seem strange or hard to do. I know. You say to yourself..."I can't do that! God wouldn't allow that to happen!" or the favorite of mine..."Why should I?"

Yes, I do know that all the psychiatrists say that you need to focus on positive things, not negative ones. They are right. You do need to focus on the positive. Negative thoughts weigh you down, make you older and sometimes ruin your health if you let them.

That's why I'm amazed by God's love for us. He doesn't give up on us when everyone else does. He's my provider, my comfort and my shield. Oh, how I wish people's eyes would be open to his love! It is a love beyond our understanding. He has blessed me by sending his son to die for me on the cross. He didn't have to do that. He could have left us on our own and helpless against the Evil One. Oh, I do thank you, Lord for saving me and bringing me into your kingdom. May I be worthy of your love.

God is in control

How often I forget this! How often I need to be reminded that I have no control. He does. It doesn't help to get angry or upset at circumstances I have no control over, nor is it wise to ignore what the Lord is teaching me through them. I know I still have a lot to learn about life, about love and how to be like Jesus. I have in the past week or so mulled over the definition of sacrifice. Sometimes I do feel that I've already sacrificed a lot in dealing with a mentally challenged brother, two elderly parents and the pressure of not knowing what tomorrow will bring. Other times I know I haven't sacrificed nearly enough, and that makes me feel guilty. I see the people on the street and shudder. I can't help them. I can't even help myself. Yet the face of a young woman with tears streaming down her face haunts me. So does the face of an older woman whose fate is to go on welfare because she can't learn the new technology.

Then the numerous other unknown faces of all those who will be left out in the cold once the new mandate of the healthcare law goes into effect in October haunt me. I feel helpless until I remember that God is in control. He will make a way for me and for all those others to be free of the electronic shackles we've been placed in. He will lead us home. I pray constantly that I would be worthy of him....that I would please him....that he wouldn't say to me...depart from me....I never knew you. That would to me be the scariest thing of all....to have God say  "I never knew you"..and be lost for all eternity.

My heart aches for all of those caught in the lies the media and the government unknowingly spread. They don't know. Their hearts are closed. I realize that now....I didn't before. So I pray that their hearts will be opened somehow and they would know Jesus for who he is...the Son of God.

Feeling like a Time Warrior fighting against time and space

Strange title...right...but true. Yesterday the hospital sent me another outrageous bill for services they didn't perform. When I called them up, they told me that they were right. What I wouldn't give to turn back time, stop my next door neighbor from taking me to the emergency room and let myself bleed! If I had known then, what I know now....I would have run to the store, got bandages and left it alone. I know what you're thinking....boy, would that have been foolish!.....I know I did the right thing, but am still angry because I had no recourse but to go...then they literally "soaked" me....ruining my credit and any chance of getting employment...THANK YOU!!!!

I do feel that I'm standing on a ledge staring out into space waiting for the end. Yes, I know there's a reason why I'm going through this fiery trial. I know that it has really opened my eyes to the massive corruption and greed hospitals and doctors operate in. Yes, I know that there are good hospitals and doctors out there that won't charge you exorbitant fees for little service. I don't know where they are.

I know there is a light in this tunnel. I trust God that he will see me through it. Yet it's very hard now looking down at this abyss wondering what will happen next. I long for security, a good paying job and stability. The Lord knows this, yet he's opening my eyes to others who are even now going under because of the rotten healthcare system that causes people to go homeless so they can get free healthcare! I shake my head in amazement at the audacity of such people! Blood is on their heads for taking people's livelihood to pander to their own needs! The Lord sees your greed and callousness, and you will be destroyed.

Trying to remain positive in a negative world

When you're facing difficult circumstances, it'v very hard to remain positive. You want to throw up your hands and give up. You don't because what you're doing is too important. You can't let the negative people drag you down to their world. I know. I'm facing an insurmountable task with the event that I've planned for September. How do I get people excited enough about it? I don't know.

There are times when I just feel like giving up literally. Why am I pressing this? Why do I care? Maybe it's because I don't want to see it all disappear. I know that I'm not the right person. I feel very inadequate for the job....especially now in the midst of all these barriers.

Will they leave me all alone to do this task? Oh, Lord....help me to do your will and not my own. I really want to help get this community out of its slump. I know there are others that feel the same way. Open my eyes to see them.