Still Thinking about the future

You know when you hear all around you of the sad tidings, you get the feeling that the future is going to be pretty grim. Then you hear some beautiful organ music, and you can tell yourself that there is still some good in the world. Today I had the chance to observe some people in action. I told them and myself that I was only observing. Some day though I know I will have to step out, make some painful choices and go where the Lord wants me to go.

I can sense the struggle and itch to help. I know I must curb my tongue. It's hard. I caught myself speaking when I should have remained silent. Yet, how do you know when to speak up? I was nervous. I felt a little lost. I thought about my future. I thought about what I observed. I was glad to be an earpiece or sounding board. I definitely want to help. I just not sure how.

Strange times-What will happen next?

As the title suggests, I had a strange week last week. I am slowly but surely getting used to my demotion. In some ways I feel like a huge weight has been taken off my shoulders. I am in the same "boat" as my former employees except they have a site to call their own. I don't like the position I'm in. In fact, I prefer to have some stability. Yet I know we live in strange times, when the people that are supposed to help end up sounding like they're backpedaling. I realize that for all the pretty words they don't know what's up. Yes, they do try to get you to agree to your changed situation and tell you it's not a demotion. Funny....I can't help but think that it is.

Dad and I are busy doing our projects, trying in our ways to sort through the craziness and outright lies. Strange times when hard work and perseverance gets a cold shoulder and laziness and greed are rewarded....Yet, I know all things will eventually right themselves. Truth will prevail.

Dreaming for the future, Digging in the past

I've been doing a lot of research this past week as part of a major project that I'm undertaking. Some of it is fascinating, and some not so fascinating. I have to admit that digging in the past has made me think more about the future. I wonder what people will think of my work here. Will they appreciate it? Will they take away anything from learning about the past? I don't know. I hope so.

I get excited when I discover something new. As I told so many people this past week, I'm doing this because I believe that it should be done and that there should be one record, if possible, of everything in the small town I grew up in. Maybe some will think that I'm crazy. Why are you putting yourself through this? I have to smile. I'm dreaming for the future and wishing that those that come behind me will know how I lived and how the others before me lived.

Right now I'm not sure what will come of all of it. I feel I must do it though, because I feel called to do it. Yes, it does get me away from my current work situation. I am grateful for that. It also makes me feel alive and needed.

Time to reflect on life

I spent the last two days sorting through the accumulated junk in the attic and my room. It is hard to believe the stuff I held onto for so long. I wondered as I dug through the boxes what I was thinking when I decided to save the stuff I saved. Maybe I thought it had some value. Maybe I was going to use it for research. I don't know. I finally decided that I needed to get rid of it all. There is still a lot to do. I know this. I know that I still have a lot to do with my project as well.

I am glad for this time to reflect. I realize that time is fleeting, and you definitely have to make the most of it. I can't let myself get bogged down by the negative news and strife that swirls around me. I have to focus in on the positive, knowing that I am not alone. I can make a difference.

Lord knows who I am. He knows me better than I know myself. I will continue to believe that this time of reflection will yield good results. I will be energized to do whatever the Lord requires me to do. I will lean on him, knowing that he has my best interests at heart. I will not yield to the bitterness that has threatened to overtake me. I will not complain when it seems that everything is falling apart around me.

I am blessed. I know this completely, and I do thank the Lord.