Riding The Waves of Change

You might be thinking right about now why I titled this blog post "Riding The Waves of Change." This week I've really felt that I have been literally riding the waves. One day would be great. The next day I'd feel as if the bottom dropped out. It hasn't been easy adjusting to the life I now have. Some very wise people tell you that you really can't predict how grief will affect you. No one has the guidebook on how you're supposed to live after this type of loss.

There are still some things I can't get past. I do want to get past them at times. Other times I just want to cling to stuff I probably should be letting go. I am slowly learning to let go and not rally against the changes that are taking place. I do want to ride those waves of change knowing that God is unchangeable. I sometimes doubt that. I reason that God has changed because he can't remain static. I don't grasp then that God has to remain stable.

There is something deep inside me that yearns for that stability. In this ever changing world where everything seems unstable, it is good to know that God remains stable. He is the one unchangeable focus in the universe. It is because God is always there and constant that I can confidentially ride the waves of change. I know that I can depend on him to see me through and bring me home.

Some of you reading this now can probably relate to the feeling of being tossed to and fro by the waves of change. You can't understand all that is happening around you. You want to. It seems impossible and a bit overwhelming. I can definitely relate to feel overwhelmed by all that is happening in our country. I admittedly hate change, even when it's a good change. It has been a struggle for me to accept the changes and move on. I am not the type of person who readily embraces change. I guess it is in my makeup to question the changes, balk a little and then test the waters. I like having a solid base in which to lean on when these changes occur.

I am not someone who changes "just because" someone says that the change will be good for me. I like to take my time and analyze the change first. Some people hate that I just don't jump when opportunity shows itself. I am a steady and dependable person even when I'm riding the waves of change. I thank the Lord that he is my rock and fortress in the storms of life.

Finding New Life in a Hostile World

These past two weeks have been eye opening to say the least. My mind is still processing things. I am realizing that things that I thought were pretty stable aren't really that stable. It happened like most things happen. I wasn't prepared for it. I don't think anyone can prepare. The world of my youth and those shadows of the past that frightened me then are a reality now. Yet surprisingly the fear that I felt then doesn't effect me the same way. It is hard to describe.

It is funny how things that happen outside your own little world can affect you so much. I had to admit that I didn't have a clue on how to move forward. The information I received disturbed me. I had to process it, analyze it and make some sense of it. It wouldn't be easy. I had to trust that God knew this was happening and had orchestrated it from the beginning.

I am grateful that God is in control. With him I do have new life in this hostile world. Without him I am nothing. It is a lesson that I need to learn over and over again. I can't let frustration and anger get the best of me. I have to allow God to do his perfect work. I have to be his willing servant and heir.

Yes, when I think about all the deception in the world, I cringe. In my own strength I am no match for Satan's schemes. He loves to throw the doubt and despair card at me. He loves to distort words to rile up enemies. He is the Father of Lies. I know that I have no power on my own. I crumble and flail when I'm left to my own devices. Yet I also know that I'm never alone. I can find new life in this hostile world. I can rise above those who would pull me down into the pit of despair and desperation. I'm not going there anymore. I am embracing the new life God has given me through his son's sacrifice.

I can't ever forget that sacrifice. Jesus took my place. It is because of him that I can live in this hostile world. It is because he lives that I live in him. That concept sometimes still blows me away. I struggle to comprehend his great love for me. I do long for others to know this love. My words felt inadequate to express it properly. (John 3:16) For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son that we may have eternal life. Pondering those words again makes my heart soar.

Persecution in A Modern Society: Technological Outcasts

Last week I realized something important about myself. I realized that the technical elites that are so dependent on social media and other electronic means condemn technological outcasts. I've been living between two different worlds. The world that I grew up in and the world that is rapidly taken over with its blinding speed. No one really understands why there is so great a push to ensure that technological outcasts are blocked from contributing to society.

This is persecution in a modern society. When society gets to the point where technological outcasts are demonized and ridiculed for wanting the technological advances to slow down and cease, then this is a big problem. I have struggled with this persecution of those who refuse to embrace the technological revolution. I don't want everything about me controlled by some unknown and cold entity. I like having control. Technological outcasts are sometimes known as Neo-Luddites, which means that they strongly object to any technological advancement.

I heard something that twists my stomach to think about in the last week. If I let myself dwell too much on it, I just may be sick. The technological elites mean to control the population by withholding food from those who don't do their bidding. The manipulation of data streams with the technological elites demanding more and more sickens me to the core. This is persecution in a modern society. When someone can lock someone else out of essential services just by making it very difficult for that person to access them, that is a huge problem. I'm actually glad to know that my parents won't have to suffer this persecution.

I have to ask myself why this is happening. There has been some "push back" from all the technological advances. There are some people that aren't willing to sacrifice themselves to the technological gods of this world. It is becoming harder and harder though to stay away from the technology. It seemingly runs everything and reminds me of a movie I watched in class when I was a young child. I was frightened by the images of robots literally taking over the world. I admittedly am still frightened as I see the images I once saw in the movie becoming our reality.

How can we stop this? I don't know. Some days I do pray that the Lord will intervene soon. Other days I look at my nieces, nephews, grand niece and grand nephew and know that they live with the technological advances and think nothing of it. They may never know the world as we knew it. Hopefully they will remember the technological outcasts and help us.

Stepping Forward in Faith

This week has been a little overwhelming. You all know my struggles, at least those that I've made public...that is. I have learned that I really need to step forward in faith. It is scary. I don't have the support system I had before. I do have friends and family that have really stepped up. Yet I still struggle. I know I should trust God and I do. Sometimes life gets overwhelming as I try to process everything.

I am learning to focus on what matters to me. I am learning to lean on God, knowing that he loves me. I am learning to let go and dream. It has been difficult to remain positive and step forward in faith. It's not impossible. I have been thinking about my dream job lately, trying to visualize what it would entail. I think I'd like to be archivist, but it seems like an impossible goal. I like what the archivist does in researching and documenting history.

History is so important. Our history is what defines us. It gives us our identity. As I step forward in faith and wait on the Lord's leading, I am reminded that he has the perfect plan and purpose for me. I don't feel selfish to wish for his plan to move forward. There is so much that I have learned and that I am still learning.

People talk about history disappearing. I've also heard that history is often rewritten to reflect distorted images of truth. I believe that truth always pushes through. It is never hidden. When I feel stuck and overwhelmed by the tasks that need to be done, I pray for calmness and release. I know that I'm not alone. I do thank God that he holds me in his hands so that I can step forward in faith knowing that he will hold me up.

Moving Forward and Not Back: A Lesson in Humility

These past two weeks have been a bit strained as I struggled a bit with the new normal. You might be thinking that I should be past this by now. It has been a year since my mother passed. I let go of the guilt I felt back then. I have in some ways moved forward. Some days are better than others.

I am learning a lesson in humility. Pride sometimes gets in the way. I struggle because there's just something that just doesn't want to let go. I can't get pass it. I really want to. I want to be used by God in whatever capacity he deems me to be used.

Tomorrow we will commemorate the day when the world changed forever. We will mourn those that lost their lives that long ago day, but we will also thank God that they aren't here. You may wonder why I say that. The country those people knew is definitely not the same country we know today.

It was on that day that America proved its vulnerability to outside attacks. It also opened the floodgates for those who would tear this country apart at the seams. We didn't realize then. There was a brief time of patriotism and unity with the shared tragedy. It didn't last long. We moved forward and not back. We didn't want to think about what just happened. There was no rallying cry for revenge that time because there was no country or person responsible. At least that was what the news media had us believing at the time.

America was no longer invincible. Our core beliefs in the morals that our grandparents learned weren't there to guide us. We were left drifting and humiliated. Some would have us believe that we could go back to that time of prideful ignorance. We can't. We have already been attacked from within. Yet there is hope for those who haven't turned their backs on God and his plan.

We shouldn't continue to rely on America and its leadership to run our lives. We should pray for that leadership that they make wise decisions but we can't depend on them. We do have to move forward and not back while we learn lessons in humility.

It won't be easy. No one ever said life would be easy. We do need more than ever to lean on God through his son Jesus Christ. God's plan is perfect. We need to start accepting that maybe God's plan is to let America fall. It is a scary thought. I do believe that God has used and will continue to use those in powerful places. They may not understand how they are being used or why it's happening. Yet if we are humble enough, we'll see God at work. We don't need to understand. We just have to trust him.

Mourning The Loss of A Financial Institution That's Been Around Since 1853

Today was the first official day of the merger of what was a really good banking institution to one that has some really bad reviews. A lot of the former customers of the bank that was merged with this new/old banking institution are very unhappy. I can't say that I blame them. We've all gotten used to the old bank and are a bit steamed at being railroaded into this new/old banking institution. I won't name names here.

There are some things to be thankful for in the transition. The new/old banking institution is giving us until March before they start instituting their fees. I hope that they stick with this. I do believe even with this waving of fees there will be at least half of the customers leaving for "greener" pastures. I can tell them truthfully that there really are no "greener" pastures. I've been through this at least three times already. I can still remember all three times.

I hung on that first time when the bank that I had been banking with changed names. The second time something happened and I had to change banks. The third time the bank merged with a foreign entity which made me uncomfortable, so I switched banks. This time around I may go with a credit union. I am grateful that I have this opportunity to discover what a new bank can do for me.

I learned the hard way not to tie up my money with direct deposits to my account. It takes at least three weeks for everything to be straightened out. That was a while ago, so things may have changed. I do have to change a few things now as I get used to this new/old banking institution. My prayer is that my personal information is still safe and my accounts haven't been touched. It is very nerve wracking when you hear stories about people who used this institution having serious issues.

I am hanging on for now waiting for the dust to settle before I make any changes. I do mourn the loss of that financial institution as I feel like I'm on shaky ground. I am praying for security and wisdom as I research financial institutions that will suit my needs. I pray for all those that are affected by this transition as well. I know some employees of that financial institution are mourning with me.

Not Giving In To The Socialist Agenda: Moving Forward

Things are starting to look up. It has been a long time that since I succumbed to the pressure of financial instability. I am only now starting to see a light ahead of me that wasn't there before. I know that I had to go through the trials in order to realize what a great God we have.

Yes, it does seem like the forces of evil are touting enslavement through socialism. I trust that God is in control. He has a plan for us. We can move forward away from the enslaving forces of socialism. I know the struggles many of us still have. We are being manipulated to feel a certain way.

There is no reason to fear that the socialists will take over this country. God loves us. He rejects those who reject him. We have to continue to repent of our sins and our rejection. Socialists reject God. You have to believe that God is bigger than the socialists. It may seem rosy and good to have something for nothing. This is Satan's ploy. He waves the "toys" around, making them look attractive. He tells you and tempts you to "go ahead and take a bite of that apple."

Yes, this is the socialist agenda to promise free stuff to the masses, only to realize that the free stuff isn't really free. I have to admit that I have succumbed from time to time. Who doesn't like free stuff? I am realizing however that there is just too great a price attached to that free stuff. It makes ordinary people do strange things.

Our country does need help. Our young people, especially need help to realize what they are embracing is temporary and fleeting. We do need to get back to our roots, but also move forward. I am not giving in to the socialist agenda. I am not going back to povertyville but trusting God to pull me out. I have to move forward, relying on God to guide me through.

I know I do have to start shaking off the chains that have bound me up for so long. I have to start claiming the salvation that the Lord has given me. I thank God for all he is doing, all he has done and all that he will do. I can move forward and not give in to the fear of a socialist government.