Being thankful for the small stuff

A hard lesson to learn is to be thankful for everything. We should not take anything for granted, but instead be thankful for the small stuff. I know that this is hard to do when the world wants to dump all its sorrow and misery at your feet. It's easy to worry about what's going to happen tomorrow or the next day. We do it daily. The hard part is to learn to take everything with "a grain of salt." This means that you must determine on your own to filter through the world's stories and weed out the truth from them. No, it's not easy to do. All too often news agencies or even your friends will alter a story to suit their worldview. The truth does, given enough time and patience, eventually come out.

You will find, if you are thankful, that you look at life a lot better. Life is precious. You shouldn't waste one moment worrying about things you can't do a thing about anyway. Besides worry is a sin and displeases God. I heard somewhere that worry sends a signal to God that you don't trust him. It makes sense. If you continue to worry about a certain situation, and I admit I do this, you're telling God that he's not doing a good job. So first and foremost, you have to believe that God is in control of all things. Being thankful for all things shows that you do believe that God is in control.

I know for my own self that I have to remind myself daily that God has my best interests in mind. This current climate that I'm currently "swimming" in won't last too long. I can look back and see how far I've come, even as I still struggle with issues that are weighing me down. I do thank God for so many things. He is my Rock.

Maneuvering through space and time

Does anyone remember the Star Trek the Next Generation episode where Georgi was trying to save the Enterprise from radiation exposure? One of the things that stuck in my mind this week is when he tried unsuccessfully to avoid the risk of fatal exposure by running the Enterprise through some trial runs. In about half the runs, time ran out and the ship was exposed. I have been feeling lately that I've been reliving that episode in my own life. Unfortunately there are no trial runs in life. You have to maneuver the best you can through a morass of choices hoping that you make the right one.

I know I have questioned my choices recently. I see that sometimes it's not easy to know what the right choice is. The best you can do is pray for guidance. The worst you can do is go off half-cocked and just wing it. Some advocate that method, telling you to go for it. There is a cost for everything you do, and being deliberate about what you're going to do next is prudent and wise. Much like Georgi did during that episode, you must take the issue at all angles before making a decision. Then you need to let go. You can't hang onto the problem or it will overtake you. I especially like the end of that episode when the solution was to shut the computer down and let the "master" take over.

I do fear that we are increasingly becoming too dependent on computers and its resulting technology to run our lives for us. We expect things to do what we expect them to do, and we want things instantaneously.. What we haven't yet realized is that there is an enormous cost involved when we let the computers run our lives. Sure technology is great. I wouldn't be able to post this without it. I believe however that there will come a time that we will regret the hold technology has over us. I've already seen that regret in the faces of those disenfranchised that have been cut off from the world.

Feeling the affects of time and space

Wow, I felt the affects of time and space this week as I tried unsuccessfully to coordinate my history projects with looking for meaningful work. At times I felt out of sync with the rest of the world. I realized that I am not alone in feeling this way. Some might call this future shock. Others might call it a longing for a simpler time and place. I've been thinking a lot about the way technology has overwhelmed and overtaken us in so many ways. Some of it is good. I don't know anyone who doesn't like to be able to access information quickly and easily or doesn't like what technology has brought in their lives. At the same time I can't help thinking about all the people that have been left out in the cold because of it. We lost a lot when we arbitrarily decided to send all our personal information over the Internet.

I watched "Les Miserables" on Saturday and could really relate to the crowd of poor waiting for a revolution. Like those poor people, I realized that we are in the same boat as they are. We too are waiting for a revolution even though most of us don't understand what that means or how to go about it. We cry for freedom, not realizing that we gave our freedom away when we allowed the government to control our very souls. At what price you may ask.....

The price is your life. Will we fight and die for those rights?....Rights that are already gone, by the way. Or will we slink back, hide and pretend that everything is normal? Yes, it is normal to shrink back, do what is necessary and hope for the best. We all struggle with step forward. I have to ask myself would I be willing to die for what I believe?

This is where the rubber meets the road. Will we learn from history? Unfortunately I see all too often that we neglect history. We tell ourselves that what happened in the 1940s won't happen again. We won't put people aside, discriminate against them or bar them from employment. Yet we're doing it now....literally thousands of people roam the streets looking for work. No one will give them a chance. Instead they prefer to send jobs overseas and abuse the people there. Then there's the cold hard fact that if you're not pretty enough, or you've been unemployed for too long....you're unemployable.

Fighting against time and space

The past few days I've been having issues with various functions on my computer. It's almost like I'm fighting against time and space. It started on Monday when I logged on and made me think that someone has gotten control of it somehow. Maybe I said something I shouldn't have said or maybe I'm just imaging things. I don't have a good feeling about having everything computerized. It is way too easy for someone to hack your personal information and run with it.

I don't want to think about identity theft. I know how long I have fought the good fight to do what I can. Unfortunately the technology is too readily available to use. What I don't know is if there is a way to fix these "glitches" that keep popping up. Makes it really difficult to write anything coherent when those glitches pop up.

There has been some good news of support in unexpected places. I never realized how much work it actually takes even to run a meeting, let alone start a group. I do still feel that I am fighting against time and space.

Leaning on the edge-the view from below

Yes, I'm now officially out on my own leaning on the edge. It was definitely a defining moment when my resources ran out. Yet I don't feel as panicked as maybe I should be. I know it's because God is in control. The view from below can be a bit scary. I'm not thinking only about myself. I'm thinking about all those who depend on me as well. You play the waiting game and wonder where you'll be soon. You don't want to be controlled by the government, yet you now understand that you had no choice. I was reminded again of Nazi Germany when I read a post on Facebook about one woman's experience under their regime. I was amazed that it wasn't as what we've been taught. The people actually embraced the regime. It wasn't their life that would affected. It was "them"...the scapegoats for all the world's ills.

I continue to press forward, praying as I go for the right fit and hoping that I'll remain free. Yes, I am thankful that for now we do have freedom of speech....in some ways. We can still preach the gospel, but I know that there is a time coming that this won't be possible any more. So I can be thankful for this forum, for the Internet and for the people that contribute so much to it.

Ringing in the New Year-Learning to abandon it all to God

My first lesson for the new year was that I needed to abandon everything to God. I couldn't hang onto my worries and fears for the future. I had to let them go. I had to live in this moment. It is a hard thing to do, this abandonment. There are so many things even now that try to steal my sanity and my identity. I can't let them. At the end of the day, they are only things and God is God. Once I get past the feeling that I need to be in control, I can move on and live for the Lord.

It seems so simple, yet I know in my own experience it can be difficult as well. You come to the point in your life that you know that you can't waste another moment wallowing in a pit of despair. You have to look up from that abyss and reach out for the hand that is waiting for you to grasp it. We can't hesitate any longer for time is short. I do feel that even more as each day passes. No one has any guarantee that they will see another sunrise or have the opportunity to witness to others about God's great love for us.

I am still learning daily that I need to give everything up, be willing to leave it all behind and deny my own selfish desires. Some days are easier than others because of all the negative stuff I hear. Other days I long to hold onto with all my might. I admittedly at times am at a crossroads. I'm eager to see the Lord face to face but anxious that I'm not worthy to stand in his presence. There are many things that I have done I know that I regret doing. So I'm thankful that the Lord has forgiven me and I've been able to move on.

I won't make any New Year's resolutions. I will, however, work on a heart renovation by looking out for others before I look out for myself.

Reflections of the past year-Learning to lean on God

Christmas is now past. I can't say that it was a particularly good one for me. It was nice to have all the family around, yet as I was pelted with flying wrapping paper (A family tradition that I wish would go away) I had the feeling that somehow I missed something. Maybe it was because I'm so very burned out and stressed by my current situation that I'm not thinking clearly. I know that for my family it was been one of those years full of joy and sadness all mixed together. We welcomed a new member of the family in May-Aubrey Rae. She is a real joy. Her laughter rings out and her smile lights up the room. Then there's the cold hard fact that I've been unemployed longer than she's been alive. I just have to look and reflect on that and my stomach clenches. The only thing that has stopped me from going into a deep well of depression is my work on my book and the publication of it. I know that I can't lean on that. I know that I have to lean on God.

When I reflect on everything that has happened in the past year, I realize that God has a purpose for this time of unemployment. It was only when I became unemployed that I was able to really see the need around me. I understand now the pain and suffering of those that have no resources, yet are expected to gain employment to somehow survive. I've seen the faces of the many disenfranchised whose only recourse seems to be to "pound the pavement" looking for a job...any job. Yes, I've been that desperate. One of my relatives is also looking for work, but he isn't in the same desperation mode as I am in. He's younger and in a good field. He's already got some part-time work which is a good thing for him.

Some days I do struggle to lean on God. I don't understand why I'm still struggling to find meaningful work to do. Other days I can see some light at the end of this dark tunnel. I'm praying for a stable job, not one that will require me to pay my own taxes...unless of course I decide to go out on my own and start a small business. That is a thought I've been tossing around lately as my job search has stalled and I've gotten totally burned out. I know I have to seek God's direction in this. I can't go out on my own.