Bountiful Blessings-Keeping Positive in Bad Times

I got a rueful reminder today of what it means to be thankful for what you have. Once I realized what was happening, I had to step back and reassess everything. It's funny but not so funny when you realize that the world in which you settled in has suddenly changed. The only thing that keeps you going is knowing that there are people around you that are going through the same upheaval.

There are, I have to tell myself at times like these, bountiful blessings all around me. There are many things to be thankful for and rejoice in the Lord for...like having a roof over my head, food on my table and family that loves and supports me. I know I was a little rough with my last blog, but admittedly who hasn't felt that way about receptions. I want to, however, say that my niece is happily married to the man she loves and I don't think anything will change.

My heart still aches. I still struggle with circumstances that seem to loom in front of me. I know that some people think I'm too sensitive, or I should have a thicker skin. I can't. Instead I will continue to rely on the Lord for he is in control. I will tell myself that I can't let it get to me. I have to remain positive even when it seems as if the negative will overrun and overtake me. I won't lie. It isn't easy. It is hard. You want to scream, but you hold it in.

Yet, I can praise God even though this rough patch on the road of life. I can thank God for bringing people into my life, and I can pray for those that need it. Lord, thank you for allowing me to be your witness and for the bountiful blessings you bestow on me from day to day.

Post Wedding Blues-I'm getting too old for this!!!

My niece got married last Friday. It was a beautiful wedding, but the reception left much to be desired. I'm not an alcoholic. I'm not even a teetotaler. I don't drink...period. Yet, that's what the whole reception was geared towards. I keep remembering my cousins, and how they used to...and probably still do...drink. Yes, I know the all the reasons behind it. I also know that it ruined my outlook on the marriage...not that I'm against it. Marriage is a beautiful commitment between two people that love each other.

I have to question the motivation when it seems like as soon as you arrive at the reception you are almost expected to get liquored up. My impression remained bad as the night deteriorated and the music (noise) got louder and louder. Finally I just left. I couldn't take it anymore.

Unfortunately I didn't get any wedding case as it was 9 pm when I left and they were just getting around to almost serving dessert! I'm getting too old for this travesty and long for the days when everyone could dance to the nice, soft music or the silly songs of my youth that they used to play at weddings. I am dating myself when I say that I remember the "Electric slide" and the "Funky chicken." Those were and still are fun songs that even the littlest can enjoy.

Maybe I am an old fogey or just set in my ways. I hate the electronic noise the young call music. It depresses me, and makes me sad for the young couple.

All Saints Day

Today is the day to reflect on those who have gone before us. In doing this research and now attempting to write it all down, I'm realizing that there is a lot that I'm missing. I think about the special people that have established a way of life here in this little town that no one knows. I'm finding it hard to find the right words and it's scary.

I know now why they call them "deadlines". It's because you feel like you're going to die before you finish. It is funny. I am slowly but surely putting all my thoughts together in coherent form. I pray constantly now that I will be able to finish it. I know that there is a lot of people depending on me to finish on time. Sometimes it feels as if there is just too much pressure.

I tell myself today that I will put down everything in a rough draft. I can't worry about word structure now. I need to put it all down. My mind wanders again to those saints that have sacrificed all to make sure I have something to remember.

Taking time to pray

How often we rush about worrying about things we can't possibly fix. We try to push ourselves in too many different directions without taking any time to step back and pray. It is funny and scary in a way that we rely too much on ourselves or on the government to fix things. We are fools to think that we can fix what's broken. Maybe there is a reason that things are broken. Maybe we need to reach out to God like we did before.

How can we say that we trust the Lord when we are not willing to let go of those things that are too much for us to handle alone? How can we point fingers when we ourselves can't see what's right in front of us? My heart sometimes sickens when I realize how wrong I've been. I try and struggle to do what I feel is necessary, not realizing that I may be making things worse.

We all need to take time to pray. Once we do, then we will realize that God has us in his hands and he won't let us go.

A typical week or learning to lean on God

I haven't had a typical week for a while now. I had weeks that have taken me to the depths of despair and back to the lofty heights. I had other weeks where I didn't even know where I was going. Usually I complain about the situation I'm currently in, not realizing that in doing so that I'm deserting God. How foolish! I know I have to learn to lean on God more. It's a hard lesson for most of us....some would say it's a Western mindset, but I discount that.

I believe that we all feel that somebody owes us something. We walk around oblivious to the world around us. Who can we blame for our inattention? We rush, and don't stop to look at what we are doing to ourselves and the people around us. I guess that is why I've always had a fascination with time and loved time travel stories. You see in time travel stories the main character has no choice but to stop and look around him or her at the strange new (old) world around him/her.

You have to lean on God. It's impossible to lean on anyone else. I am learning that I can't depend on the people around me, nor can I really depend on myself. I need that anchor even in a typical week.

Viruses and Other scary things

I recently went through what I like to refer to as a scary situation in regards to my computer. I was doing some research on-line for my book project when all of the sudden my computer acted like it had a mind of its own. It closed down, went back up and seemed to laugh at my frustration. I was lucky. I have a "computer whiz" for a little brother who looked at the problem and found the solution.

What I thought was a virus was actually a lesson to be learned. I am still learning it. I am grateful to everyone who listened and calmed my fears. Some would tell me that I was being silly. I needed to step back and take time to listen. Once I did that, the scary things seemed to melt away. I think the hardest thing to do is not let the hard stuff weigh you down.

It is kind of funny. Everyone tells me "Good Luck" when what they are really telling me is that they don't believe I can do it. At least that is what I hear. I have to get past this, focus on the work and tell myself that I can do it. If I don't do it, who will? I can't let my fears of the scary things around me drag me in. I just can't. I have to trust God to work out his plan for my life.

Best Friends

Best friends are always there for you. They listen when you're feeling blue. They build you up and make you feel worthy. I have a best friend, who has been with me since we were little kids. I can vaguely recall the first time we met as 10 year old girls. She was a tomboy....me not so much...but I got my love for nature from her. I remember how we explored the woods near Collingdale Park. We didn't find much there, except for refuse.

Best friends give good advice. They know you better than you know yourself. They are always willing to go to "bat" for you. They are your greatest cheerleader and closest companion. Sometimes you get into fights with them, but they never last long.

I do thank God for my best friend.