Unexpected time of reflection and grace

When the news hit about the earthquake and tsunami last Friday, my heart stopped...not literally, but everyone knows that feeling. Luckily or unluckily, I didn't have to sit and watch it on CNN as the tragedy unfolded. I was spared, by God's grace, from hearing it over and over again. Instead I was able to reflect and pray for the thousands affected by it and are still being affected by it.

I was also reminded of God's grace on Friday when I volunteered to work on Sunday. I could have said no, and maybe should have...but I didn't. I reflected on the Lord's words, and showed in a small way that I was willing to sacrifice that time to do what needed to be done. I know that there will be time, maybe soon, that I will again be called to sacrifice. Will I be willing then? I can't answer that now. I just have to go step by step and day by day. I do thank God for what he has done for me.

I hope, but can't press, that I will find listening ears and open hearts to the words the Lord has given me to write and say. I can't stand still...but maybe I need to....so I can listen to a baby's cry and a wounded heart.

A time of reflection and hope

I passed my 2nd year anniversary last Monday. You probably think it's weird to reflect and remember a site's closing, but I do. Like many of you, my life has changed in some significant ways when I heard the news about the markets that cold October day in 2008. I believe that news did impact what happened to me in February 2009. You see it wasn't just me that was affected. I had 2 people under me that were summarily let go. Fortunately or unfortunately I wasn't. Yet the site still closed, and the work that I did there ceased. Ever since I've been floundering and floating. Some say I should be grateful to have a job, and I am. Yet I still miss the solid feeling I had and the sense of accomplishment I felt for a job well done.

I have been going through a tough time dealing with the mammoth changes going on within my company. It seems as if they want to anger their employees, making changes that rip what was good out and put what is not so good in. Why? I don't know. Maybe it all goes back to what happened that dreary and cold October day when I felt my world collapse around me.

There is hope. I have to tell myself this or go crazy. I see that hope when I look in the faces of my employees. I have six now, but am not sure how long I'll have them. I feel I need to fight for them while I still have them, and help them if I can.

The first signs of Spring-a new beginning

I love when the ground awakens after a long winter with new sprouts of green. I love hearing the birds chattering in the trees, seeming to sing after a silence that seemed to be forever. Yes, I love the feeling of seeing new life and the smell of the rain after a shower. It is a time of new beginnings, some are painful. You have to say goodbye to the old stuff and embrace the new. Yet, if you are like me, it gets harder and harder each year to let go. That's where the pain comes in. You resist the new ways and look. You want things to remain the same, even though you know that it can't. Change happens.

I faced the changes before. Some changes, like the budding of a flower, are welcome. You get excited for those changes to happen. Sometimes you even long for those changes. Other changes are not welcome....time of life changes come to mind. You dread the feelings that sometime overwhelm you. You want to turn back the clock, but you can't. I have been thinking a lot about certain changes, struggling to accept them and move on with my life. I know I need to think of what's happening as a new beginning for me. That's hard. I can thank God that he never changes, and that he is the same yesterday, today and forever.

Return of Winter? Or the Last Gasp

Winter returned today with four inches of snow, which quickly melted in the sun. The sun felt good on my upturned face. Yet I still had to wear my hat and gloves for a time and put my boots on. I sense more than feel that this is the last gasp of winter. Soon spring will be upon us in full force. Even now I can see the sprouts of green shooting up from the ground. I try not to think about the cold that seeps through or the ice that is now forming on the ground.

I am blessed with all good things. I can be grateful for the circumstances I find myself in. I may wish to change them. Yet if I did, then what would happen? Would the people around me start resenting me? Maybe. Yet I can't help thinking that by not standing up and saying that "It won't be tolerated anymore", I'm part of the problem and not the solution. I long to do the Lord's will. My tongue though trips me up, making me tell a falsehood.

It is winter in my soul. I take one last gasp of freedom and fall into the chains of despair. I latched onto a false hope....a hope that I would stand before my Lord without blemish. I was a fool to trust in my own efforts, instead of reaching out to God. Yet I am here. There is still time to wipe out the fallacy and embrace the truth.

A taste of spring-a light shines in the darkness

Often these days you hear of all the bad stuff, and you wonder when things will change. You wish for that change. You long for that light in the darkness. Yet it seems as if it will never come. The skies tease you with their clearness and the sun warms you. You can feel the warmth seep through your bones, and get a taste of spring.

Spring will come, you tell yourself. The light will come and guide you out of the darkness. You need to wait. You know that's hard when it seems like everything is falling down around you. There is an anchor. There is a savior.

Will you believe in that anchor? Will you cling to that savior? Or will you ignore the hands that are even now reaching out? You could ignore those hands. You could let yourself wallow in the pit of despair. You are a fool if you do. You know this.

Now is the time to accept the redemption God gave us. Don't wait too long for your renewal. He can change you, and your longing can be fulfilled in him.

Friends for life

I know we all have had those kind of days. You know the ones I'm talking about, the kind of days when you just want to hide away and forget that anything happened. Yes, you tell yourself that it was just a fluke or that it couldn't be happening to you. You do your best. You figure that you can't get any lower than you already are. Then something happens. You see a light or hear a word that saves you from yourself. You know it's from God. He's using the people around you to show you that you are special to him. You can deny that you are special and continue on the downward path. You can tell yourself that no one cares. It's not true.

What is true is that you have a whole host of angels rooting for you. You have friends to lead you through this dark time. You know those days of unrest when you're feeling like a punching bag or worse. Look up. Learn to trust the one who gave you life. Embrace and rejoice with your friends for life. In all things, give thanks.

Waiting for spring- or will the ice and snow never end?

I try not to think about what could happen. It doesn't help when you hear all the hype and want to hide. You know you can't. The storm is coming. You can't wish it away or change it. All you can do is pray. Actually that is the best thing you can do. Pray that no one gets caught out in it and pray that it moves quickly. I'm guessing that you think that you can prepare for it. Maybe you think that it won't come, or you are in denial about its effects. I keep asking myself the same question....Will the ice and snow never end? Yes. You have to believe that it will.

You say you can't. You say that you are tired of waiting for spring. Yet you know that soon enough spring will come and bring warmth. I try not to think about what will happen. Instead I try to think positively, and work out what I can. I change what I can change, and let the rest to God.That is the best I can do.