Honored and Overwhelmed

I've been busy these past two weeks learning more about the financial end of my non-profit business. I 've also been privileged and honored to meet with so many interesting people willing to help me get up to speed. I do have a long road ahead of me still. I am feeling pressured to have some sort of positive results from all my hard work.

It is a bit overwhelming and depressing at the same time. None of the older folk seem to grasp what I'm going through yet. They pressure me to find a "real job"....and sometimes I do want to go back to having one of those....It is definitely a lot more stable than what I'm trying to accomplish now. Many just don't understand that non-profits do in some ways have to run like a business, even though they don't have shareholders or a product/service they can sell.

I really can't explain yet why I feel compelled to do what I'm doing now. Some days it still feels like I'm spinning my "wheels" and getting nowhere fast. Other days I definitely feel that sense of accomplishment that comes when you know that you've made a difference in someone's life. Financial pressures are still there as well. I'm not sure what my next steps will be to secure some sort of steady income stream. I know I need one...and I know that I have to take the necessary steps to obtain one or two soon.

I do hope to find and secure those revenue streams for my sake and for my family's sake. I know they are feeling pressured as well....and maybe a bit tired of "covering for me"...when the reality is that they should be supporting me in this huge undertaking.