Am I Just Fooling Myself?

I've had kind of a confusing week this week. I am still struggling with some issues that have come up. Sometimes I feel that I am fooling myself to think that anyone cares about history anymore. Other times I know that there is some interest. I just have to keep pressing.

I definitely feel at a crossroads in my life. There are forces threatening to tear me apart. I think about what I'm trying to accomplish quietly. I wonder if its all worth it. Should I continue to struggle? It's easier just to give in. I must not.

Am I fooling myself? Does anyone at all care? I know they do. I see it in the interaction I receive througn social media. I see it in the faces of my fellow officers. I know that they are tired. I sense that immediately.

I can dream. I wish that my dreams would come true. I don't know. It seems like such a long shot. It's crazy. We just can't do it, I tell myself.