Feeling Invisible and Trying to Cope

This was my week for feeling invisible. Frankly it is very frustrating to be ignored. People have such a short term memory sometimes and such a twisted way of thinking. Yet I can see that it is all a cover. I am trying to cope with all the responsibilities that have been thrust at me. I am trying not to let them get to me.

It is extremely frustrating to have all your hard work be ignored. I know that I'm not the person they want to deal with and that they hate the fact that it seems that I've taken over. Yes, in some things I have. I felt like I was in a straight jacket last year. I couldn't do what I wanted to do. They are trying mightily to put me back in that straight jacket. I won't have it. I have worked too hard to get out of it and make myself visible.

Should I start demanding that they listen to me? Wave a red flag in front of their faces? I do want to scream...but am holding it in.

Then there's the fact that they are doing this as a community event....but frankly again it's like pulling teeth to get anyone to listen. What will it take? Should I give up and make this the last event I do? Should I give in and let them do what they've always done for years on end? It is extremely tiring. I am trying to cope with everything that's going on. I don't like feeling invisible....yet in a strange way I'm afraid to toot my own horn too...

I am feeling drained. This week has been very bad for me. I'm fighting depression and the sense that things will never get better for me. I know that it's not true. I tell myself that God has me where he wants me and there is a reason why I'm in the place I'm in.

God is in control. I am not invisible to God. He hears me and answers my aching needs. His arms wrap around me. I know he loves me.