Finding Time to Write and Think

I got a temporary job. It is mostly staring at a screen and inputting numbers. I like the fact that I will be getting some much-needed funds. I know that it is not sustainable for the long term. I do need something more sustainable. I don't know what's going to happen tomorrow.

Finding time to write has been a challenge for me. The work I'm doing is mindless, but I find I do have to concentrate.

I started this blog last week when I had the temporary job. The work is now finished, not to my satisfaction but they haven't called me back to finish it. It is a good thing. I tell myself. My mother is not doing well. She had gotten used to having me around. I don't know what the future holds. I just know that I can't do what she wants me to do. My financial situation doesn't allow me to be there. I do need to have sustainable employment. Making her understand this is hard.

I realize that I do have some choices to make. I can trust God. I can lean on his strength and wisdom. I can let go of the fear that seems to override any reason. I can leave the situation that I'm in with God knowing that he has my best interests at heart. It's not easy. I'm not looking at any easy solutions no matter what I chose. Sometimes I do wish there were some easy solutions available. Then I guess I would wonder why it was so easy and lose my faith.

I do have a lot to be thankful for. I have shelter, food and internet access. :-)

I also have good friends who care about me.

Putting Things in Perspective-Getting Away From Facebook

Yes, I have to admit if only to myself that I'm a little bit addicted to Facebook. I have checked it at least three times a day, spent hours I probably shouldn't have spent and let myself get sucked in emotionally. It isn't hard to do. Seeing all the pictures and feeling just a little bit important is addictive. I get it.

I recently had a very bad experience that my mind still keeps playing over and over. I have tried to put things in perspective and take everything I see with a "grain of salt" but it's difficult. I can't seem to get away from the facts that I've allowed myself to get lured in.

Facebook does have some good qualities. I can touch base with friends that I haven't talked to in a very long time. I can pray for those who are sick and share the joy with those who are rejoicing. Unfortunately, I did allow myself to overreact and not check my facts before posting them. I got burned big time. It was only when someone actually threatened me that I realized that I was heading down the wrong path. Facebook was putting the ugliness that I wanted to hide out there for everyone to see. I couldn't blame the users who depended on me for accurate information. They used Facebook as a sort of tool.

I didn't completely understand the damage I'd done. I was right, wasn't I? Yet I would have to admit that I may have stretched the truth a bit. I know I've written some things that couldn't be verified but that I thought were true. I let social media dictate what I believed for a time. I can't do that anymore. I do have to get away from Facebook before it takes over my life.

I have started to discipline myself to only get on Facebook for an hour or less every day except for the weekends. I really never go on the computer on the weekends at all. I've also worked on deleting and saving posts, including some that had fiction instead of fact. I will from now on stick to facts. I may lose some people this way. Many do have "itching" ears that only want to hear the negative.

Eventually, I will get off Facebook completely. I'll find another platform where I can put things in perspective and not let myself get carried away.