It's been almost a month now since I last wrote this blog. I've hung out in a severe crisis mode which stifled my voice. I'm still feeling run down. I wear my weariness like a shroud. It is hard to even think. Someone is praying for me now. I can feel it.
Both physical and financial situation is still very bleak. Yet I have been blessed even in this state. I can still praise God for what I do have. I can be renewed like an eagle flying high.
I do feel sick when I focus on the world around me. So many are hanging on the edge of the abyss waiting for something to happen. Someone knows my struggle. There is a light. I can't see it now. I can't lose hope. I must hang on.
I am weary, Lord. My family needs your healing touch. I know that something has to give pretty soon. Lord, your word is true. I know that you will provide for all my needs. It is so hard to trust you. I am being foolish. I can't give into my fears. I have to believe that you won't let my worst fears become a reality. You will establish a stable environment for me and my family. You will provide for us financially with sustainable work. You will heal my father and mother so they can praise you and bring glory to your name.
You are pulling me back from the edge of the abyss. I don't have to stay there. I can move forward and bring light and hope to my community and the surrounding communities. You give me the resources I need to succeed. I just have to believe it to receive it. I have to close my eyes to the negative forces that are threatening to pull me down. I need to embrace your holy word and live for you. You are my King and Savior.
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