Struggling To Survive: Finding Meaning In Life

I've been going through a family crisis. I am struggling to survive. Satan is alive and well. He wants to make me miserable. He wants me to doubt my resolve to see this situation through to the end. Yes, I am admittedly tired. Yes, sometimes I do feel so alone. Yes, it does seem that it will take a miracle for this situation to resolve.

My family just doesn't understand. They are pressuring me to give it up. They say that I'm unfeeling and callous. I'm not. I do care. I can't do what they ask me to do. I won't feel guilty. I will keep moving because if I stop....then I might as well be dead. Seriously....Satan wants me to give up. He wants me to feel guilty about my work. He doesn't want me to succeed.

Please don't get me wrong. I do love my family. Unfortunately sometimes it is impossible to make them see that this work is meaningful to me. It is something that I've been driven to do. I know this is true. Yet I get so frustrated trying to make them see this.

My work is the only thing keeping me sane. It is the only thing that drives me to get up in the morning. Maybe I am crazy. Maybe I am obsessed with this historic preservation work. I can't help thinking though if I didn't stand up and make people aware....who would? I will continue to fight as the Lord gives me strength. He knows my needs. He knows my family situation. He will provide. I know this because he has done it. I am finding meaning in life with this work. I don't want to go back to what I was before. I am trusting the Lord.