A Rocky week or Learning to lean

I had a rocky week last week. I wanted to scream but just didn't have the energy to do so. You're supposed to be happy, I told myself, but what is happiness anyway? It's fleeting. It disappears the moment your circumstances change. My stomach is still churning from all the changes. They tell you that they are good changes and that you should "buck up" and accept them. Your mind and heart reject them. You long for stability and reliability. You get neither. Instead everyone seems to have their head in the sand waiting for someone else to make the first move.

Just about this time, you realize that your resources are gone. You have to learn to lean on the one who made the stars. It is a freeing thought. You ponder anew at his amazing love and wonder why he sacrificed his son for us. "Was it all worth it?" I can image that he smiles and tells me, "Yes, it was all worth it."

I have to agree. The trials I'm going through now are worth it, if one person sees the Lord through me and the way I handle crisis. I am like everyone else though. I don't like going through the crisis even though I know that it's making me a better person. I much rather coast through life....but wouldn't that be boring. Maybe all this change will be good for me. I have to keep telling myself that even when my current circumstances don't make me feel that way.