This week I have been in a sort of holding pattern. I've done some soul searching about where my life is heading. I know I don't want to go back to the unfeeling and selfish person I was when my parents were alive. I do still have a tendency to act in my own self interest. I also find it difficult to see things in a different light.
I guess that is the reason for the holding pattern. There are some things that I desire. There are some things that I need. Then there are the responsibilities that I have taken on that I've neglected lately. Some may say that I'm still grieving, that I really haven't gotten over the losses. Yes, in some ways I am still grieving, but it is definitely not as strong as it was a year ago.
The thing is that there are so many negative images that are pressing down right now. It makes it hard to move forward. My eyes have been open to seeing the world in a different light. The ugliness of it all stops me in my tracks. I can't seem to move past it.
I know the best thing for me to do is to continue to trust the Lord for all things. Yet so many times my faith wavers to the point where I start doubting the words I read in the Bible. I do have to stop listening to the voices that tell me that I'm doomed or lead me astray from the Lord. It isn't easy.
There are some days when I do feel that the Lord couldn't possibly want me. I feel inadequate and unable to do the tasks set before me. The holding pattern bars me from feeling anything. Yet I have to hope that some day soon everything will make sense, and I'll get out of this holding pattern. That day can't come soon enough.
I see the human desire to grab at the pretty packages only to discover they have turned to dust. The Lord knows I do long to make a difference in someone's life. The feeling that washes over me when I realize that I actually helped someone else is priceless. I do see the world in a different light now that I'm an orphan. I'm learning that I don't have to be alone. If I can share God's love with someone else knowing that they will spread that love to others, well that too is priceless.
The day will come when I will meet Jesus face to face. Right now the thought terrifies and excites me at the same time. It terrifies me because I know that I can't stand and face him by myself. It excites me because I know that I don't have to, that there will be others standing beside him. I know that by myself I falter and fall. When I'm lifted up though surrounded by my fellow believers, I can stand and face Jesus. They will be my testimony of my faithfulness and witness of my devotion to Jesus.
I do look forward to that day. Jesus knows and loves me. He understands my need to be surrounded by those who love me. Then I will definitely see the world in a different light.
Tuesday, February 25, 2020
Tuesday, February 18, 2020
Celebrating Life in the midst of a Dark World
Saturday I celebrated the first year of life for a close relative of mine. I marveled at his smile and enjoyed the feeling of his hands in mine. When I look at him I realize that there is hope and future for this dark world. I do pray from him and his big sister. I know that some of the things that we experienced when we were young, they will never know.
I think about the deep roots that my parents instilled in me and my siblings. I know that some of those roots have rubbed off on this younger generation. It is a good feeling to know that this close relative's parents have absorbed the lessons their parents have taught them. You may argue that the influences that their parents had was minimal. You may say that the roots have been torn asunder by the societal influences. I disagree. The words spoken by pastors and teachers over the years have created that deep rooted faith. It is the words that sink in deep. They do have a great impact for good or for evil.
Someday those same words will have a great impact on this life as well. These words of Jesus bring light to the darkness. You can't snuff them out. You can't demean them. They are life.
I celebrate life in the world around me. The darkness of this fallen world will attempt to steal my joy and rob me of my happiness. Yet when I look at the priceless moments that a tiny toddler can bring I realize that I don't have to wallow in the darkness. I can celebrate the life he has given to each one of us.
Soon enough our life will be over. When I think about my legacy, I realize that the only legacy that I want is to be known as a follower of Christ. It isn't easy. Some days it is really hard to believe and follow the One who gave me life. I do. I know that whenever I start to go my own way that I falter and fall. I need his guidance.
I cling to the promises God made in his word. He promises eternal life for all who believe. Yes, I know what you are thinking. "How can that be?" "Doesn't everyone die?" Jesus died to save us and bring us to the Lord God. In John 3:16 we read that "God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son that whosoever believed in him should not perish, but have eternal life." In this dark world we only see death and darkness. We can't see the light. Yet we know that there is another world, a heaven above us where there is no darkness at all.
Through Jesus' death and resurrection we are renewed in him. We live through him. Yes, everyone does die, but afterwards we are resurrected to life or to damnation. Once we accept Jesus as our Savior we too can celebrate life in the midst of a dark world.
I think about the deep roots that my parents instilled in me and my siblings. I know that some of those roots have rubbed off on this younger generation. It is a good feeling to know that this close relative's parents have absorbed the lessons their parents have taught them. You may argue that the influences that their parents had was minimal. You may say that the roots have been torn asunder by the societal influences. I disagree. The words spoken by pastors and teachers over the years have created that deep rooted faith. It is the words that sink in deep. They do have a great impact for good or for evil.
Someday those same words will have a great impact on this life as well. These words of Jesus bring light to the darkness. You can't snuff them out. You can't demean them. They are life.
I celebrate life in the world around me. The darkness of this fallen world will attempt to steal my joy and rob me of my happiness. Yet when I look at the priceless moments that a tiny toddler can bring I realize that I don't have to wallow in the darkness. I can celebrate the life he has given to each one of us.
Soon enough our life will be over. When I think about my legacy, I realize that the only legacy that I want is to be known as a follower of Christ. It isn't easy. Some days it is really hard to believe and follow the One who gave me life. I do. I know that whenever I start to go my own way that I falter and fall. I need his guidance.
I cling to the promises God made in his word. He promises eternal life for all who believe. Yes, I know what you are thinking. "How can that be?" "Doesn't everyone die?" Jesus died to save us and bring us to the Lord God. In John 3:16 we read that "God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son that whosoever believed in him should not perish, but have eternal life." In this dark world we only see death and darkness. We can't see the light. Yet we know that there is another world, a heaven above us where there is no darkness at all.
Through Jesus' death and resurrection we are renewed in him. We live through him. Yes, everyone does die, but afterwards we are resurrected to life or to damnation. Once we accept Jesus as our Savior we too can celebrate life in the midst of a dark world.
Tuesday, February 11, 2020
A Reason to Rejoice and A Reason to Mourn
I've been reflecting a lot about my current situation lately. I realized that I've been unemployed/underemployed for the past eight years. It was eight years ago I was terminated from a job that gave me a steady income, but wasn't steady as far as employment status. In other words, changes in the corporate structure made my continued employment unstable. To be honest the employment status was precarious for a long time before I was actually terminated. Changes happened that I really had no control over. Yes, I admit that I still mourn for the stability that I used to have at the one site. When that site closed, I was left with a unstable environment which I made the best of for about three years.
The society just celebrated their seventh year of existence today. I rejoice over the many friends I've made through the society. I know I wouldn't have made them if I hadn't decided to pursue historical interests. I do feel that I am making a difference by making people aware of their historic resources. It is frustrating though to not be able to find a secure position that utilizes the skill sets I've picked up. I'd love to work with documents, scanning them and preparing them for storage. I'd like to learn more about architecture and putting things together.
I do have to admit that I run ahead of God at times. I want things now. I worry too much about what's going to happen. I do have a reason to rejoice. My God is providing for my needs. He knows what I need before I even ask. It can be hard to push against the obstacles that stand in my way. I know I do have to trust him even when it seems as if everything is going "south."
The pressures of society to perform a certain way or act out in mourning sometimes overwhelm me. I admittedly get depressed as I struggle to find sustainable work that won't compromise my belief system. I do have a reason to mourn when I see the struggles of my fellow contemporaries. They didn't ask to be pushed aside. The rapid increase of technology has left them in the dust. Some have balked at trying to learn all this new technology. It seems impossible. It feels like losing bits and pieces of yourself to the World Wide Web.
I do have to choose daily not to dwell on the obstacles in my way. I have to choose to be happy and content to wait on the Lord for his timing. It is hard. You do want to run ahead to see what's out there. Yet I know that it is best to wait for his guidance.
The society just celebrated their seventh year of existence today. I rejoice over the many friends I've made through the society. I know I wouldn't have made them if I hadn't decided to pursue historical interests. I do feel that I am making a difference by making people aware of their historic resources. It is frustrating though to not be able to find a secure position that utilizes the skill sets I've picked up. I'd love to work with documents, scanning them and preparing them for storage. I'd like to learn more about architecture and putting things together.
I do have to admit that I run ahead of God at times. I want things now. I worry too much about what's going to happen. I do have a reason to rejoice. My God is providing for my needs. He knows what I need before I even ask. It can be hard to push against the obstacles that stand in my way. I know I do have to trust him even when it seems as if everything is going "south."
The pressures of society to perform a certain way or act out in mourning sometimes overwhelm me. I admittedly get depressed as I struggle to find sustainable work that won't compromise my belief system. I do have a reason to mourn when I see the struggles of my fellow contemporaries. They didn't ask to be pushed aside. The rapid increase of technology has left them in the dust. Some have balked at trying to learn all this new technology. It seems impossible. It feels like losing bits and pieces of yourself to the World Wide Web.
I do have to choose daily not to dwell on the obstacles in my way. I have to choose to be happy and content to wait on the Lord for his timing. It is hard. You do want to run ahead to see what's out there. Yet I know that it is best to wait for his guidance.
Tuesday, January 28, 2020
America's Hope and A Dawning of A New Age
The pundits would have you believe that the world's hope is to stop the consumption of fossil fuels immediately. They warn us that the changes we see now in the world are only going to get worse. They threaten to control us in every way. I am admittedly frightened by the words they speak. They dictate that only they can have what we have now. They tell us that we need to radically change our way of life. They want us all to live in boxes with only assigned elements.
The children and young adults have been brainwashed into believing that if they surrender control to them it will be alright. America's hope is not in the garbage that the Weather Channel and those environmental pundits are now pushing on us. The dawning of a new age will be a dark time if everything they want to push is put into practice. I admittedly fear for my young relatives and thank God that I don't have any of my own.
The facts are that God is in control of everything. We are fools to think that he doesn't have any say or that we can control the weather. It is the new manta though for everyone that we need to follow the harsh dictates of the radical environmentalists and worship the sun, moon, earth and heavens. Yes, it is true these environmentalists are making a cult of these socialistic dictates. They want everyone to bow down to them. It's not going to happen. There are those of us who believe that America's hope should be in the God of the Universe and in his son Jesus Christ. It is in him that we have our being and we have all been created by him to do his perfect will.
The children and young adults have been brainwashed into believing that if they surrender control to them it will be alright. America's hope is not in the garbage that the Weather Channel and those environmental pundits are now pushing on us. The dawning of a new age will be a dark time if everything they want to push is put into practice. I admittedly fear for my young relatives and thank God that I don't have any of my own.
The facts are that God is in control of everything. We are fools to think that he doesn't have any say or that we can control the weather. It is the new manta though for everyone that we need to follow the harsh dictates of the radical environmentalists and worship the sun, moon, earth and heavens. Yes, it is true these environmentalists are making a cult of these socialistic dictates. They want everyone to bow down to them. It's not going to happen. There are those of us who believe that America's hope should be in the God of the Universe and in his son Jesus Christ. It is in him that we have our being and we have all been created by him to do his perfect will.
Tuesday, January 21, 2020
Losing Our Freedoms: Being Locked in A Socialist Prison
I've been absent from this blog for a little while now. A lot has happened and I'm still processing it. Yesterday I watched a 2nd amendment rally where most of the people were peacefully protesting. I didn't see any violence, even though it was expected. There was a lot of propaganda that unsuccessfully tried to portray the protesters as criminals.
When we continue to remain silent, we lose our freedoms. Some of us are quite willing to sacrifice freedom for safety. Yet when it comes right down to it, we actually lose both freedom and safety. What message are we sending to criminals when we enact laws that restrict our safety? Why would criminals voluntarily hand over their guns and register? They wouldn't. It is not for safety reasons that the government wants your guns. They want to control you.
The internet and the increasing insistence that everything must be online is just another way to control us. The people that have that control are capable of stripping our freedoms. We are slowly but surely losing our freedoms because we like the accessibility we have to everything. We really don't realize that accessibility comes at a very dear price. Some of us will eventually be locked in a socialist prison unable to speak.
I have to admit that I've been frightened by developments within this country and the world at large. Companies are still pushing people to "get online" and not giving an alternative avenue to do what they need to do. The electronic currency and banking trend is escalating with no end in sight. Yes, admittedly it does seem easier to have that money directly processed, but at what cost? I am pretty much old school and it takes me a long time to get comfortable with new technology.
The feeling of being "sucked in" is getting stronger. Some days I do feel like a rebel because I don't do things the way that everyone else does. My nose is not stuck on the screen of a Smart Phone. I don't own one. I do, however, text and send messages on my phone. I call it a hybrid because it has some applications but works like a flip phone.
I don't like the feeling of being sucked in. I'm guessing no one does. Yet it is exactly what the social media is doing. They are sucking us in with their sensational stories, most of them are purely made up lies. You start to believe them until you look around and find yourself locked in a socialist prison. You then ask yourself if there is any way out. It is then that you turn to God. He is the only way out. He is the only way to recapture our freedoms.
When we continue to remain silent, we lose our freedoms. Some of us are quite willing to sacrifice freedom for safety. Yet when it comes right down to it, we actually lose both freedom and safety. What message are we sending to criminals when we enact laws that restrict our safety? Why would criminals voluntarily hand over their guns and register? They wouldn't. It is not for safety reasons that the government wants your guns. They want to control you.
The internet and the increasing insistence that everything must be online is just another way to control us. The people that have that control are capable of stripping our freedoms. We are slowly but surely losing our freedoms because we like the accessibility we have to everything. We really don't realize that accessibility comes at a very dear price. Some of us will eventually be locked in a socialist prison unable to speak.
I have to admit that I've been frightened by developments within this country and the world at large. Companies are still pushing people to "get online" and not giving an alternative avenue to do what they need to do. The electronic currency and banking trend is escalating with no end in sight. Yes, admittedly it does seem easier to have that money directly processed, but at what cost? I am pretty much old school and it takes me a long time to get comfortable with new technology.
The feeling of being "sucked in" is getting stronger. Some days I do feel like a rebel because I don't do things the way that everyone else does. My nose is not stuck on the screen of a Smart Phone. I don't own one. I do, however, text and send messages on my phone. I call it a hybrid because it has some applications but works like a flip phone.
I don't like the feeling of being sucked in. I'm guessing no one does. Yet it is exactly what the social media is doing. They are sucking us in with their sensational stories, most of them are purely made up lies. You start to believe them until you look around and find yourself locked in a socialist prison. You then ask yourself if there is any way out. It is then that you turn to God. He is the only way out. He is the only way to recapture our freedoms.
Tuesday, December 31, 2019
End of An Era: Fighting for Freedom
The time between Christmas and New Year's is often a good time to reflect over events that happened in the past year. This year has been a "holding pattern" kind of year for me. I watched from the sidelines as things happened, but didn't feel the need to get involved. I recall now that I started this blog ten or eleven years ago. Back in 2009 we were just feeling the effects of the Obama policies. I'd got into a very unstable position. I was still working steadily, so I had that.
I do have a feeling that things will radically change this next year. The push for socialism and control will continue unabated. Democratic control ensures that the socialistic agenda will move forward. Some of us will be called to fight for our freedom. We will not be able to stand on the sidelines and watch.
In some ways we will witness the end of an era. No longer will we be able to stand back and wait on developments. As I listen to the fireworks go off, I cringe. I know that the lessening of laws have made it too easy to acquire and fire them off in residential areas. I pray for protection...that no stray embers fall on my roof or anyone's roof.
At times like this I admittedly feel helpless. I don't like this feeling. I know that I need to trust God more.
I need to remember that God does have a plan. It is a perfect plan. I may not like what I see before me. I may stress and worry about the future. Yet I do know that God has the future. I don't have to worry about what this new year will bring. The song I keep hearing is "I'm Almost Home."...At least I think that is the title of the song. When I hear these damn fireworks, I have to remind myself that I have no control over them. God does.
At times like this I feel needy. I know that this is a selfish feeling, because God fills all my needs. It is hard especially when I hear these damn fireworks and they seem so close! Oh, Lord...how I wish they were still banned.
I don't have any control. I pray that everyone's house is protected from fireworks, Lord God. Please place a shield around our homes that the fireworks will fall harmlessly to the ground and be put out without causing a fire. Please answer my prayer, Lord God for this country...that the fires that are now burning will be put out. We need you. I do claim your promise that you will not forsake us.
I do have a feeling that things will radically change this next year. The push for socialism and control will continue unabated. Democratic control ensures that the socialistic agenda will move forward. Some of us will be called to fight for our freedom. We will not be able to stand on the sidelines and watch.
In some ways we will witness the end of an era. No longer will we be able to stand back and wait on developments. As I listen to the fireworks go off, I cringe. I know that the lessening of laws have made it too easy to acquire and fire them off in residential areas. I pray for protection...that no stray embers fall on my roof or anyone's roof.
At times like this I admittedly feel helpless. I don't like this feeling. I know that I need to trust God more.
I need to remember that God does have a plan. It is a perfect plan. I may not like what I see before me. I may stress and worry about the future. Yet I do know that God has the future. I don't have to worry about what this new year will bring. The song I keep hearing is "I'm Almost Home."...At least I think that is the title of the song. When I hear these damn fireworks, I have to remind myself that I have no control over them. God does.
At times like this I feel needy. I know that this is a selfish feeling, because God fills all my needs. It is hard especially when I hear these damn fireworks and they seem so close! Oh, Lord...how I wish they were still banned.
I don't have any control. I pray that everyone's house is protected from fireworks, Lord God. Please place a shield around our homes that the fireworks will fall harmlessly to the ground and be put out without causing a fire. Please answer my prayer, Lord God for this country...that the fires that are now burning will be put out. We need you. I do claim your promise that you will not forsake us.
Monday, December 23, 2019
Celebrating Christmas and Looking Forward to the New Year
Tomorrow is Christmas Eve. When I think about the reason for the season, I realize how much we need to be reminded that God is in control. Jesus came to Earth at a time when Romans ruled the world. Israel was under Roman rule. The people were waiting eagerly for a savior. It wasn't known then that a savior had indeed come into the world. Most people were ignorant, wanting to believe whatever the Romans pressed onto them. Some were frightened by the world around them. They were oppressed and felt forsaken.
Jesus came as a baby in a manger. He was helpless and dependent on others. He was despised and rejected. No one wanted to hear him. He didn't come as a king, but as an ordinary person. Yet his birth is celebrated even now. The angels proclaimed his birth to the shepherds, not to "important" people. It was ordinary shepherds who first visited the baby Jesus and told others about what they saw. It is the same today. Ordinary people still share the story of Jesus in the manger.
It wasn't until almost two years after his birth, that wise men from the East came to Bethlehem to see Jesus. It wasn't until Herod heard about the Messiah prophecy that he decided to kill all the male babies from birth to two years old in Bethlehem. When I think about the very narrow escape that Jesus had that sent him and his family to Egypt, I know that God's timing is perfect.
I do look forward to the New Year knowing that God's timing is still perfect. He is in control of all things, for all things came into being by him. It is a good reminder that God loves us so much that he sent his son to die for our sins...that we may have eternal life with him.
Jesus came as a baby in a manger. He was helpless and dependent on others. He was despised and rejected. No one wanted to hear him. He didn't come as a king, but as an ordinary person. Yet his birth is celebrated even now. The angels proclaimed his birth to the shepherds, not to "important" people. It was ordinary shepherds who first visited the baby Jesus and told others about what they saw. It is the same today. Ordinary people still share the story of Jesus in the manger.
It wasn't until almost two years after his birth, that wise men from the East came to Bethlehem to see Jesus. It wasn't until Herod heard about the Messiah prophecy that he decided to kill all the male babies from birth to two years old in Bethlehem. When I think about the very narrow escape that Jesus had that sent him and his family to Egypt, I know that God's timing is perfect.
I do look forward to the New Year knowing that God's timing is still perfect. He is in control of all things, for all things came into being by him. It is a good reminder that God loves us so much that he sent his son to die for our sins...that we may have eternal life with him.
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