Uncharted Waters: The ongoing struggle to survive in an electronic age

I googled the phrase "uncharted waters; struggles of the long term unemployed. I read an interesting 29 page report that was mysteriously deleted from a federal database and placed in a LinkedIn slide share. He really did "nail things" with this report by saying that it's not just ageism that keeping the long term unemployed without gainful employment. It is a lethal combination of getting the right certificates, having the right targeted experiences and technology itself. I know that I've experienced this myself.

I am really in uncharted waters because like a good number of my generation...we didn't grow up with the electronics and technology that is so wide spread today. We weren't specialists but had a well rounded education and on-the-job training in a variety of roles. Most of these roles unfortunately are being symptomatically taken over by electronics...ie robots and other mechanical devices.

This is having a very bad affect on our society. I know that I'm on "my last legs" having to break down and go on welfare. Anyone who says that I'm lazy really doesn't know me. They criticize me for succumbing to the pressure that I've been under for four years now. They don't know that being on welfare is the absolute last resort for me and something that I've been resisting for a long time.

It is very difficult to accept the fact that I'll soon be completely out of funds. If not for the welfare and the occasional work I'm getting paid for....I'd be on the streets like many others. I know there is a solution...but it has to come from someone who is willing to take a chance on people like myself...and pay them a living wage.

More thoughts about the End Times in Light of Terrorism

It kept playing over and over in my mind today. I know that some have become callous and cold over the terrorist attacks, but I just can't. Every time I hear something like what happened in Belgium this morning, my stomach churns and I grieve. I also wonder why God would allow it to happen.

It is also about this same time that I long for Christ's return. I know that most pastors and teachers are saying that it will be very soon. Sometimes that thought scares me. I have to re-evaluate my life and check my doubts and fears. I have to trust that God knows what he's doing by keeping me here.

It does scare me when I realize how percarious my position is now. I am less than a month away from being insolvent. It is hard to keep things going normally or act as if everything is going just dandy. I just have to look around and know that it isn't for anyone.

It may be just me. Maybe I'm not doing enough to push through the negativity around me. Maybe I just don't feel comfortable exposing myself like I've been asked to recently. Maybe I'm just not desperate enough. I don't know. I wish I did.

In this week when I reflect on all the Lord has done for me, I realize that he has opened my eyes to what he sees in the world. He weeps along with me for the lost souls stuck in desperate straits and not knowing the love he has for them.

The pressure he must have been under...knowing that he would have to sacrifice himself for the world. The pain he must have endured...not just the physical pain but the spiritual and emotion pain as well. To be separated from his father and have him turn away must have cost him heartache. Yet he did it for us. That still "blows" me away....I can't picture anyone willing to let go like that. Most of us cling to things long after they have served their purpose. We wouldn't willingly sacrifice anything...let alone our lives....Yes that is just what Jesus did that long ago Friday. Something to think about this week...

Thinking About The Journey Ahead and Wondering When the Lord Will Return

You might be thinking right about now about why I picked this particular topic right now. I have been thinking a lot about my personal journey. When you're on line like I am, you do get exposed a lot to the type of hatred that makes stomachs turn. I sometimes want to blot it out. I do wonder at times like this when the Lord will return.

You might be wondering why I would want the Lord to return. I have been asking myself if I'm ready to face the Lord. When you're in the midst of an increasingly volatile situation, thinking about the new Heaven and Earth is what gets you through it. I sometimes dream of that day when there will be no pain and no sickness. I long for the Lord's return and his reign.

You might be wishing as I am that the hatred and volatility of the world would cease. My heart aches for all those who are suffering now from persecution because of their religious beliefs. In America, this persecution is still pretty subtle...except for the fact that at least a half dozen have been brutally murdered for professing their belief in Jesus Christ in the past twenty four months.

You might be hoping that things will get better and wishing that everyone who wanted to work could work. This hits me personally. I really do want to work at a stable job with a steady income. As I think of the journey ahead, I admit that I am frightened that I will never find that stable job. I know that I have to trust God for his provision.

It is hard. I am in the pit of despair with the financial dragons at the door. I am fighting the good fight though. I have others that are interested in my plight. I do know that God has my best interest at heart and that I will get past this soon.

It will happen. I feel it in my bones. I can sense a change that is coming...just like Easter...a renewal of life.

Struggling to Understand the New Mentality

I guess I am old fashioned. I like stability. What is wrong with that? Things have been going way too fast for me. I understand that growth is good and that change is necessary. Yet I can't help thinking that change just for the sake of it is not good. Sometimes it is good to step back and re-evaluate where you are going and what you are going to do when you get there.

I may not be the brightest person, but I do now that without some core foundation any business is doomed for failure. It is true that the only reason our country has survived so long is its strong foundation. Why can't we get people to understand that without this strong foundation, anarchy will reign? It's already happening. The new mentality pushes aside this foundation. The new mentality says that we should forget history and embrace the electronic "monsters" that steal souls.

The new mentality encourages new ideas but doesn't think them through. It says that we shouldn't think of the future or the past....only the present. I do see trouble with that type of thinking. Those of us who grew up with morality plays and fables understand that only fools embrace the present without thinking about the past or planning for the future.

I am struggling to understand the new mentality. I find myself yearning for that type of stable employment where I actually feel that I'm creating a solid and lasting legacy. This new mentality doesn't allow that. Instead it embraces the here and now. There is no real plan for the future. There is no sense of place either....and that to me is sad.

Maybe this is why I'm still struggling to find meaningful and fulfilling work. I do have this pressing need to inform others about their heritage and how they can use the physical tools at their disposal. It is that need that drives me to continue to talk about local history and connections even in the midst of a job interview.

History Lost: Wondering What Will Happen Next

Admittedly I've been thinking a lot about the current state of our country. We are angry and upset with the status quo that pushes issues to the side and creates sound bites. Our children will long remember this period of time as one of the most perlious times in the history of our world. Not one of the current politicians realize what they are stepping into when they weave their fantasies and hope for the best.

History has been lost tonight. We grasped the bubble and watched it explode in our faces. I do wonder what will happen next. Will our nation become like Hilter's Germany? Will we forget our compassion for people and grow the divide between the races?

It is scary to think about what rights have already been trounced and forgotten. How many more will be trounced on before the next president comes to office? I have to admit that I am struggling to see the light at the end of this tunnel. Is it wrong to wish to be raptured? I felt that way tonight as I listened to the speeches and cringed inwardly at the false promises.

There are times that I almost feel like giving up. I really have nothing to live for, and no great vision to pursue. I have no legacy...no children who will carry that legacy either. I do however have a great passion for young people to know their heritage. I feel strongly that there is so much to be learned from history that no one should be missing.

History has been lost tonight with the nominations of God hating individuals. Why do I say that? I say that because those individuals have not shown their love for others, only for themselves. If they truly loved God, instead of hating him...then it would show outwardly. Unfortunately it hasn't. Instead they managed with sweet words to deceive many.

Now the Questions Begin-Fighting for Relevancy

I did it. I put the packet in the mail and got a call from the welfare office. I knew that they were going to have to get me to justify the reasons why I needed the benefits. I was prepared to answer as best I could, but it still felt uncomfortable. I felt that I had to fight for relevancy.

I'm frustrated and tired. I do feel like I'm fighting an uphill battle. Yes, I am employed. Yes, I am not making enough to support myself. No, I haven't had a "real" job for a while. No, I can't justify my existence...(well maybe not that question...but it does feel like being racked over the coals) It should be easy. Yet I still feel guilty for even asking for help now. I should have a job.

I don't want to be in this position. Who does? Why would anyone want to grovel and beg for assistance? I want to be able to sustain myself and my family. I don't like having to justify my existence.

Yet I can see some light at the end of this long, dark tunnel. I keep telling myself that this is only temporary. I will have something soon that will support me. I must keep pushing and knocking on doors to get the word out. I know that I have to do what I can.

Will something happen soon? I don't honestly know. The questions still remain. How do we remain relevant in a world that has increasingly gone blind to community? What must we do to make the younger generation aware of their heritage? Is there some way we can make some revenue off honest and clean entertainment? I don't know. I just know I can't get involved in games of chance or condone the drinking.

So what do I do? Oh, Lord....I just don't know. I need your help.

Going on Welfare: This is only temporary

Yup, you read the title right. I picked up the paperwork today and will fill it out tomorrow. I have no choice. I'm running on "fumes" now with no job prospects in sight. I can console myself that this is only temporary and that I've done the best that I could to keep out of it. I just don't see any way that I can avoid this necessary step. My recent bout with a bug that I'm really still getting over has convinced me that I need to go on welfare.

Anyone who knows me knows that this decision hasn't come lightly. I have fought the good fight, scoured the job boards and talked to people I know about my situation. I'm not even sure that I'll be accepted for welfare, but I do know that I need it now.

I know that the job interviews I had didn't pan out because I just don't have what they need. I've been out of the job market for too long, except for my work with the society and my writing. It is hard to admit that I failed so miserably in finding work. Going on welfare doesn't mean that I'm giving up looking for work....It is a requirement to receive benefits to at least show you're trying.

I can only speculate what happened to get me in the financial bind that I'm in now. I can be thankful for support from my family and my friends. I know that they are in some ways facing the same financial crisis that I am. I don't come from a rich family. We struggled at times to make ends meet. I know that the Lord provides for me. That's why I know that I need to do this for my sake and for my family's sake.

It is the right thing to do. I have to keep telling myself that. I do feel guilty to even ask. I am for the most part able-bodied, yet there are certain jobs I just can't do. I can't lift 25 pounds easily. I don't work well at night. I need to find a daytime job....one that allows me to grow...yet I know that I am at the point where I just need to accept anything as long as it pays money.

Sometimes I just want to ask God why....but then I realize that I wouldn't have met any of the people that I've met in the past almost four years if I'd been employed in a regular job. I wouldn't have had any of these great ideas or been a sounding board for others who are struggling as I am to understand why things have gotten so bad.