Summer time

It seems like the hot and humid weather will be here forever. I suffer through this weather, hoping for a change of seasons. I love the crisp, cool air of autumn and the colorful leaves. Yet, summer does have some merit. It's the time I usually try to make a trip to the beach and wade along the seashore. When it gets too hot, my feet burn and there are no cool breezes to comfort me.

I like the spring too with the colorful flowers. All too soon, the summer zaps my will to embrace time. I still recall the years I relished summer. It was three full months of doing nothing but study the world around me. I'd go on small adventures around the neighborhood, catch fireflies and play games with the other kids. I wonder now where that time went. I do cherish those childhood memories.

God's perfect timing

Often reflecting on the marvelous way God provides for my every need, I rejoice to know that he is in control. Some days are worse than others, as I have to remind myself that I, thankfully, am not in control. Other days I marvel at his perfect timing. I know that many times I wallow in self-pity and doubt. I wonder why things happen. Sometimes I even wish for a change. Yet when it happens, I freak out.

I am grateful for the unchanging God who loves me so much that he would send his son to die for me. It is still hard sometimes to wrap my mind around such love. I know I don't deserve it. I harbor hate for some who have done me wrong. Yet when I let go of that hate, I realize a whole new world.

Tales Untold

It was a rough week for me this past week. I thought about the life that was snuffed out and the tale that would be left untold. I wondered what, if anything, anyone would remember about the life that was lived. Would her children keep her memory alive? Or would the passage of time erase all memory of her existence? She was next to the youngest of six children....a very young 59 years old. She had 3 children and 3 marriages. Some would say that her tale has been told, and that it was a very sad tale indeed. Yet I often wonder at times like these what others would say about me. Selfish, I know....but I would not like to die without my tale being told.

It stuck me that I notice the similarities in a tale now being told for a young woman whose children were sired by 3 different fathers. What must their life be like? I noticed the words that were thrown around about my aunt's children....words like immoral and corrupt. Is that that unborn baby boy's lot? Will he become a criminal or can he be saved? How about those now adult children of my aunt's?

It will be a rough road. There is no turning back....for this tale must be told...for this tale must be told.

Star Spangled Banner

I've been thinking a lot about this song. Visiting Baltimore, the place where this song was written probably triggered it. Then I sang it at least a half dozen times during the past week or so. It was enlightening to know that the flag that flew over Fort McHenry was created by five women, one of them was considered an indentured servant. What was even more enlightening, I thought was the timing of it all. Consider for a moment what would have happened if the armada had been able to breach the channel or if the land forces had been unsuccessful in their efforts. There had been every indication at the time that the prospects of being able to succeed were slim. The capitol of the free world didn't survive the onslaught of British troops and Washington D.C. burned. Yet, in midst of that dismaying news, it was decided to create a huge flag that would send a signal to the British that the people wouldn't give up.

I'm reminded that I can't give up either, not when I can make a difference. Right now, it does seem as if our country is heading down a deep, dark hole. Yet, I know God's timing is right. I know I have to trust him.

Ride from Hell or No exit

I know you have been there, if you ride public transportation like I do. You know how it is. The driver doesn't know where he/she is going. The bus or other means of transportation is too crowded and noisy. Then there is the smell! Oh my! It's enough to make you cry out for mercy.

This is my doom for the next two months or so....riding a stinky bus. I guess I shouldn't complain. It could be worse. I could be stranded. That's a scary thought. I should be grateful for everything, shouldn't I?

Yet, at times like this, I often wish that time would speed up and I didn't have to ride this stinky bus every day. As you can probably tell, I'm not a very patient person. I'm actually kind of spoiled. I like to have things a certain way and am rattled when they aren't.

Another year older

I celebrated a birthday last Thursday. I won't say how old I am. I'll just say that time has passed me by all too quickly. Some days I wish to be young again, and not have the responsibilities I now have. Other times I am content to be the age I am. They often say that with age comes wisdom. I don't believe that. A person can be young and wise, and then old and foolish.

I've been thinking a lot about worth and submission. I know that worth is in the eye of the beholder. You can't earn someone's respect when you're not willing to look past the feeling of unworthiness that washes over you. You have to submit to those above you, even when you feel that they are babbling nonsense.

Feeling trapped and treading water, she tried to make sense of it all.

Changes in time and place

Too many changes are taking place. They talk about bringing people in, but their actions prove otherwise. Who are these faceless people? They are those that talk of synergy and complacency: yet they don't practice themselves. All around the changes, none of them good, are happening. Are we all to be sucked in and not rally against the compacting of lives?

I often wonder what those who are in charge are thinking. They don't seem to care what's happening below them. They arbitrarily decide to radically change everything without any thought to what those changes will do. Yet, if they did take the time...maybe they would realize the impression they are creating...an impression that leaves me sick to my stomach. There seems to be nothing I can do about these changes. I can buck all I want, but it won't do any good. All I am left with is a sense of loss.

Did they expect everyone to fall in step and rally around them? Oh, Lord...I can't do that. I see too clearly what the next steps are down that slippery slope. I don't want to go there. I can't go there.