Seeking New Horizons While Focusing on The Old

I have a dream. I want to see everyone who longs for meaningful work and sustainable income to get it. I do envision a world where everyone has a purpose and is fulfilling that purpose.

I guess you can say that I'm seeking new horizons while focusing on the old. Why? Because I really don't know how to do anything else. I've been wired to work, but I've been frustrated by the fact that I'm competing with thousands. Then there's technology. Obama is right to blame it for some of the fallout, but not all of it.

I have a wish. I want the world to see what technology is doing to the planet and its people. I do envision a world where technology has taken over from humans. Admittedly that scares me.

I guess you can say that I want the world to go back to the way it was before all the technology took over. Children have no idea of how much technology has taken over their lives. Yet I do see peeks of innovation in those eyes. I'm not sure how to get them to see the physical world around them. If more refused to embrace the technology, we might have a better world.

I have a goal. I want to set up connections between the physical and the electronic so the younger generation will have something to hold onto when everything goes south. I do envision a world where the physical living history can be experienced. Right now...it's not happening.

I guess you can say that I'm crazy. I believe that there are ways to connect the two...which is why I'm seeking new horizons while focusing on the old. It is only from our history that we can learn the lessons to reach the heights. It is foolish to think that all there is....is in the future...or that we can't learn anything from our ancestors. They can teach us so much...if we only stop and listen.

A New Venture-Taking Those First Steps

I guess I can blame my parents for literally forcing me to take these first steps. They know my financial situation. The pressure is definitely on to do something to gain employment and/or gain a steady source of income within the next couple of months. They just don't want to hear anymore how difficult it is. I understand. They've put up with me for too long. Yet I can't help but get excited about a new venture that just may be the "ticket" for me to get some much needed cash.

I can't say too much right now since it's in the very early stages of development. The initial meeting to hash out the ideas this afternoon was very interesting. The problem is how to get the right people interested and willing to help out. It all comes down to who will be willing to invest in the idea. Ideas are good, but if you can't get any traction on them...then they "flop." For the people that are in on it with me, I'd hate to see that.

It is kind of scary too. I don't have the money to invest. I do have the passion to save these old buildings, making them useable again and creating revenue for the borough(s). It is going to be hard to make borough(s) understand the benefits they can realize by renovating and reusing old buildings instead of demolishing them. This will be hard to get across because American society loves to discard old stuff for new. It is only fairly recently that some have pressed for conservation and renewal of our resources. It makes economic sense as well.

We do have to sit down, polish up our ideas and get them in easy to understand format. Generating interest will be a key component in getting our ultimate goals in place. What am I hoping with this venture? I guess I'm hoping to generate a steady income for myself. If that's selfish talk, then I'd have to agree...but it's not going to get anywhere if there is no "buy-in." It is the old "what's in it for me" syndrome. The investors need to know what they will get out of their investment. It makes sense. Even I would like to have my money work for me.

I do pray that something comes my way. I admittedly dread having to work for a medical office or company. The pressure is there though...my parents want me to take anything...just so money is coming in. I admit that my financial situation has caused me to reconsider my stance for shift work, which would be my destiny should I succumb to taking a medical job. I feel fairly certain about that, since most medical offices/companies are begging for people to work those mid and overnight shifts.

I could be wrong, of course....but something else is also barring me from applying for medical office work. I hate it....plain and simple. I hate having my personal information exposed and hate having to ask all those personal questions of others. There I said it. So, my prayer is...Please...Dear God...Please Help Me Get A Job That Has Nothing To Do With The Medical Profession!!!!! I MEAN IT!

PLEASE STOP PRESSURING ME TO COMPLY WITH THE DESTRUCTION OF ALL PERSONAL INFORMATION!!!! I NEED A JOB THAT WILL NOT ASK ME TO EXPOSE MY PERSONAL INFORMATION ON THE INTERNET....AND I NEED IT NOW.

Happy New Year....I think

If someone told me back in 1999 that I'd be facing a huge financial crisis in 2016, I think I might have wanted even more to go back in time. I know that I should be looking forward, not thinking about the economic hole I've gotten myself into by traveling on this road. Yet I can't help thinking of all the life changing experiences I've had as well. This year does promise to change my life in ways I can't even imagine now.

I can't say now what those changes will look like...whether I'll even be around to celebrate 2017. No one really knows, so they tell me. The pressure to create a legacy to leave behind and to preserve legacy grows stronger day by day. I'm realizing more and more that this dependency on electronic devices and systems can only grow stronger as the younger generations are "shut out" from actually reading paper books. They are increasingly more dependent on computers and computer generated machines to do more and more. It is kind of scary.

Then there are those egomaniacs that cry crocodile tears when they know that they are feeding on people's insecurity. Freedoms are being stripped, but no one really understands or cares. I know that it will get worse before it gets better. Modern technology has made it too easy to control every aspect of a person's life. It may seem that you are free to express yourself in any way you want to, but that's not true. Messages, images and other documentation is quite easily manipulated to make someone's life a living hell.

I heard at least a few times these past five days that time is growing short to let people know about the Lord Jesus Christ. So this will be my year to come out and proclaim him as Lord of my life. I will stop with the negative posts and the "pity party" that I've been having. Instead I will embrace the path the Lord has for me and trust him to meet my needs.

No...my status hasn't changed. I'm still on the edge of financial collapse, but I'm trusting God to show me the way out and bless me financially. He has already blessed me by keeping me solvent this far and providing me with opportunities to serve. I am blessed to know the people I've met and am open to meeting new people this year.

Showers of Blessings

The Lord has blessed me in so many ways. I have come to realize that a number of things I have taken for granted are mine because he has been gracious to me. I thank God for my family. I thank God for my friends. I thank God for everything he has given me.

I thank God for challenges, realizing that if life remained routine I would soon wallow in complacency thinking that everything I've achieved was due to my puny efforts. I don't want to wallow in complacency, nor do I want to remain in the pit of despair. I've been there far too much lately, blaming everyone for things they couldn't control.

The meaning of Christmas isn't in the gifts we receive. I realize this. It is in the showers of blessings I receive from knowing others and the feeling I get when I know that I've made a difference in someone's life.

I haven't felt that way for a long time. Frankly I blamed my interia on economic and social trends. I wanted, and still long for meaningful work that supports me and my family. Yet, I can't help thinking that I need to step away from this attitude and move forward towards what the Lord has for me. He has placed some ideas in my heart, and asked me to step out in faith.

It won't be easy. I do have no place to go but up now. I am almost at the end of my strength, but the Lord gives me hope. I can grab onto that hope and spread it around to others.

Faith In Action-Blessings of the Season

The nativity scene never grows old for me. When I watch the pageant with the children I get a new perspective every time. I see that faith in action of these children who have faithfully come to practice the pageant year after year. I am blessed by their innocence and the joy I see in their faces.


I marvel as I contemplate what it must have been like that first Christmas morning when the angels came to proclaim Jesus' birth. The more I learn about Jesus, the more I want to learn. Sometimes I'm overwhelmed by the love God has for me that he would send his son to die for me.

The world may increasingly grow darker as the message dims. More and more churches are foregoing these scenes. It is hard to grasp why there isn't more people coming out to support these children. What message are they getting for that? Yet I see that faith in action. It's the faith of a community that longs to maintain stability in a world that wants to rip things up.

I can dwell on the negatives or I can focus in on the positives. God has given us blessings this season. We can rejoice in the hope that we have in him. We can hold onto the good, instead of wallowing in the evil. We can act in positive directions, not negative ones.

I do have hope. I see the hope in these young people as well. They are the ones that need to know that God offers hope and salvation to those who ask for it. I thank God for that hope that blooms in each heart this time of year.

Learning to Be Grateful

It isn't easy to be grateful. The weight of the world falls on your shoulders. Sometimes it feels as if you're in a deep, dark hole with no way to get out. Grateful feelings don't come naturally. They come because someone does something that uplifts you. They come when you realize things are not as bad as they seem.

I could let fear drive me. I won't do that. Learning to be grateful is hard work. It takes determination and sense that you have someone in your corner. It takes learning to trust in God, and hoping for a better future.

It's not good to bottle things up. When you start thinking positive, and let the negative feelings go...things will change for the better. I admit that it has been extremely difficult for me lately to be grateful. Things pile up. You stuff them in, putting on a mask and trying not to panic. Sometimes though you have to let it out.

I am grateful for the opportunities I've been given to express myself like this. I am grateful for family and friends. I am grateful that I am loved. I am grateful for shelter, food and electricity. I am grateful for water, relatively good health and knowledge.

Making the Most Out of A Bad Situation

I'm learning gradually to make the most out of my current financial situation. I've given up feeling sorry for myself. I've also tried to make the best out of the world's situation. It isn't as bad as it seems. There is a light at the end of this very dark tunnel. I have to believe and hope that God loves me.

I know that there are still some things that I can do to make things better for myself and for my family. I can't give up on them even when it seems that they have given up on me. I don't blame them. I feel their anguish with the situation. It does pain me that I can't do anything about it. I'm completely burnt out.

The only reason I keep going is because of the promises God whispers to me in his word. I know I need to trust him and his timing. I can't let fear and despair overwhelm me. Love casts out fear. I know this, yet sometimes I'm still afraid.

It is a bad situation. Some would even call it dire. I honestly don't know what to do. There is no viable solution to the increasingly difficult situation I find myself in today. Some days I wish I could wave it all away and go back to the relatively stable situation I had seven years ago. Then I felt secure in knowing that I had a position that would last. I was receiving enough to support myself and my family. I had no worries about what would happen once my savings was gone. I was free to dream. My family was in good health and I felt good too.

Yet there are so many things I would have missed....friends and acquaintances I would have never known had I remained where I was. Yes, I am in a bad spot right now. I have hope through that the Lord will see me through it.