Moving Forward In A Bog

Yup...this is the scene. You've made it through what at the time seems like the worst thing that could happen. You know that you are still struggling to understand why it happened or how you can fix it. At this time you can't imagine yet that things will get better for you. It does seem like you're moving forward in a bog with no direction.

This is the time to realize how much the Lord has already blessed you. You need to be thankful for the people supporting you, not complaining that things are not going the way you expected them to go.

The above photograph, an autumn scene from last year, reflects my current mood. It seems like everything is dying, yet we all know that spring will come again. Just like I know in my heart that though I'm moving forward in a bog right now, I will see spring again.

I think of this tree, seen here on the left, as symbol of growth and promise of a better tomorrow. I hold onto to hope and press forward to the light.

A boost when it was needed most

It did seem for a time that all was lost. I wanted to throw in the "towel" and let the organization die. I told myself that no one cared. Of course that wasn't true. I had much to learn. I realize that. I couldn't do it either by myself. I knew that too. Yet amazingly so many others have came to my rescue...they stayed when it seemed that everything was falling apart at the seams. They told me not to quit and gave me a reason to continue.

Yes, the society is still in a critical phase. There is no denying that. I could wallow in self-pity and shame for some minor offenses or I could pick myself up, admit that I failed and move forward. Moving forward after a crisis isn't going to be easy. It is going take guts and courage to face the ugly naysayers who long to pull you down to their level.

It would be easy to give in to the naysayers. It takes courage and guts to stand up for what you believe and be willing to sacrifice everything for them. I had to tell myself that it was God's will that this situation happened, and that I was being tested. Would I stand up for him? Yes. I can't do anything else...God hates sin. There is no compromise here. Sin is sin. To believe that God will accept sinners who keep sinning is wrong and dangerous. If we condone sin, what is the unbeliever to believe about us? Yes, as painful as it still is....I believe that this happened for a reason. Have I learned something? I have. I learned a lot about the people around me, and about my own strengths. I realized that this whole situation is bigger than just what's currently happening in the society. Everyone needs to ask this pertinent question. How willing are you to stand up for what you believe in? Would you crumble at the least provocation? Or will you stand and reach out to others who need to see your stance?

I appreciate the strong Christian who is willing to make necessary sacrifices so others may know God and follow him. They give me a boost when I need it most. It is through their example that I see the Lord working. It is through God's word that I gain strength to face each day.

Rough Seas

I couldn't write last week. It is hard to write this week. I am going through some rough seas in regards to the organization I'm running. My Vice President quit for no reason at all. I'm feeling a bit sick in the stomach that two of the programs I attempted to run have fallen flat on their "faces." I know I do have support in getting the organization back up on its feet, but I'm wondering if it's all worth it.

I shouldn't quit. I know that. Too many are depending on me to keep things going. I have to admit that I don't want to quit either. If it remains a social club, would I be okay with that? Maybe...it wouldn't take much to make it that way. Some of the other historical societies do that. Yet I have a yearning to do more.

I can see why so many young and not so young people quit now. I sense the same frustration as they do whenever they come up with new ideas. All too often they get "shut down" and told that it can't be done. This is how I feel now. It is hard to admit that I'm ready to let the rough seas take me.

Is there any hope for me? Will I find some meaningful work soon? I hope so. I know that I can't go on like this much longer. I do feel like my heart has been ripped out with the whole situation. I am tired and like many of us long to go home to God. Yet I know my work is not done here. As much as it pains me, I have to move forward. Will I survive this agony? That I really don't know...All I really know is that God does care for me. He will give me the strength to move forward.

Computer has a new lease on life

Yup, I took the plunge and had my computer cleaned out over the weekend. I now have a new operating system and am in the process of downloading the files I got off the computer before it was cleaned. I think I should also give myself a new lease in life as well. That means that I have to stop dwelling on the negatives of not having permanent employment and see the opportunities to expand my horizons.

So, what now? Can I see myself living the kind of life that someone who works just for the contract and not for an actual company lives? What are the advantages to this kind of life?

1) I can keep my own hours. This is a good thing since I've gotten used to a pattern of work that has me with a flexible amount of hours. In other words, I could work in the morning, take the afternoon to do outside work and come back in the evening to do more work.

2) I connect with a wide variety of people from all walks of life. Some of their stories are amazing. I can listen to the stories elders tell us and imagine what it might have looked like to them.

3) I learn new skills that I haven't had before. Some of those skills I can use now.

4) I can fellowship with others in the same or similar situations. I can support them and they in turn can support me.

I know it's not easy for me to transition from a solid foundation to a liquid state of scrambling for work. I hate the feeling of never knowing what the next day will bring or if I'll ever find the position I need to make a living. Yet I know I must keep pressing on, learning more about this transition and hopefully get some great gains both spiritually and monetarily.

Starting to See Why I left the Corporate World

Hi,

I spent this morning learning about the legal aspects of fundraising, some of which I gleaned earlier and some I didn't really know. There is a lot to know when you are going out on your own as an independent contractor. One of the things I suddenly realized is that I can use the EIN number I have, and should be using it instead of an SSN number. It makes a whole lot of sense to use the EIN number for business and keep your SSN number for when you are an employee. You get an EIN number when you register with your state which will ask you what taxes you are going to be paying. For most independent contractors, it will be the social security taxes, and the sales taxes. I still have some questions though.

Corporations do make you go through some "hoops" to allow you to get their business. It all seems confusing and time consuming when you have to go through a delicate dance between what is and isn't acceptable. You often wonder if it's worth it. You really have to ask yourself at one point whether or not you want to continue playing the corporate games or start moving in another direction.

I can understand why there are so many rules and regulations. It is hard to know when you're accidentally breaking one especially when you are out on your own as an independent contractor. So I'm taking this slow. Listening intently and learning all I can about what I need to know to help grow my non-profit organization. I'm hoping that in the near future that enough funds and support will come in to grow the vision I have for the organization.

Still struggling with the New Economy and trying to find my place in it

Hi, this week has been an adventure. I have yet to gain traction on this new journey that I find myself on. Everyone tells me that you have to be an entrepreneur in order to survive. Yet they don't tell you how hard it is to compete with millions of others who have followed that dream as well. Nor do they tell you that being entrepreneur sometimes means that you're a serf for whatever company or organization wants to hire you. In other words the new word is "independent contractor"....which essentially means that you

1) Scramble with everyone else to find work that will pay more than a pittance.

2)Beg to find any work so you get money in the bank which you need to pay bills.

3)You pay for your own health insurance and everything else with little or no money...Good Luck!

4)You get to expose your personal information for everyone to see and count it a privilege if they don't destroy your identity in the process.

5)You take the risk of losing everything, even your home on the hopes that the company is legit and they will pay what you're worth.

6) If you complain, then you join the thousands that are struggling to find work..

Yes, I know that sounds bitter...but I haven't as yet found out anything different. I actually read a very scary article about computers and robots taking over many of the jobs that we're doing today. I was reminded of a very scary movie I saw as a child called "Future Shock". I still remember the feeling of helplessness I had then about the future. I know now that God is still in control. I have to tell myself this every day. There is some position out there for me. I just have to reach out for it and grab a hold of it.

No Rest for the Weary

You might be wondering about the above title. I am weary of so many things. Yet I know there is no rest for me. You might ask why? Oh there are a number of reasons. One of the biggest is that I can't for one moment let my guard down and give in to the negativity I see all around me. Once I do, then I get stuck in it for a long time. I find it harder to pull myself up or show a positive attitude when I let myself go.

Is that what I need to do? Let go? Yes...it is true that I need not look any further than God's Word to find rest. Yes...it is true that God promises us eternal life and everlasting joy in the world to come. Yes...I can rest in him and I should be doing that. Yet it is hard to let go and sometimes hard to see that hand reaching out to you in the midst of a wearying situation. It calls for trust.

Do I trust God enough to provide for my every need? Yes. He does it even when I don't ask or seem ungrateful. Am I willing to rest in him knowing that he will provide? Yes. I can do this through his strength, not my own. In my own strength, I am nothing. He will strengthen me for the race and equip me for the journey. I need not fear the dark tunnel I find myself in. I only need to grab his hand and move forward.

It is the moving forward that sometimes trips me up. My mind and body long for rest. Yet I know that there is no rest for the weary. We must stand on our guard day and night for Satan's attacks. We have to reach out to God and press forward in his Light. I know this.