Coming up from the depths of despair and finding the true meaning of Christmas

Another really rough week, but am still holding on. I know that I'm going through this heavy emotional trial for a reason. Yet sometimes it still feels as if I'm in the depths of despair. There are many like me, especially during this time of year when everyone is expected to be joyful. I know in my case that it's very difficult due to a number of factors to be happy. I struggle daily with the forces of evil and lean heavily on the word of God to see me through. It's in the word that I find the true meaning of Christmas.

It's funny how sometimes when you least expect it, you learn valuable lessons such as patience, endurance and love for one another even when that person is unlovable at times. For example, my mother came home on Friday disabled from her injury and not able to walk very well. I had to be patient, knowing there wasn't really much I could do for her except fix meals and clean up. Not being able to do the things she had been able to do before made her cranky. I had to put myself in her shoes and endure seeing her in such a state. It hasn't been easy, but will be worth it in the long run.

Right now I need to focus on what my next steps will be. I have a lot of decisions to make soon as far as housing and finances. I pray continuously for God's guidance and wisdom. I thank God for his son who came to save us from ourselves and release us from the depths of despair. His precious gift of sacrifice for me is undeserved but is so appreciated. I think that is the true meaning of Christmas...that unselfish act of love.

Moving ahead-Seeing the light at the end of the tunnel

This week has been very rough for me. My mother fell and broke her hip Wednesday night at church. I'm still dealing with the repercussions of that and realizing painfully that my responsibilities towards both my parents have grown exponentially with this new "wrinkle" in time. I am thankful for the doctors and nurses that took care of my mother while she was in the hospital, but now I am facing a very long road ahead of me as I deal with the consequences of my mother's now limited mobility. Things like how is she going to get around now in the house...and/or if we're seriously going to have to move out due to this. I've had some good news on one front as my book sales are coming along nicely. Yet, I know that is not stable income.

I have to move ahead, thanking the Lord that I can while still longing to be with him. I can almost see a light at the end of this terrible trial I'm going through now. I appreciate all the encouragement I've received. Knowing that there are others going through or have gone through similar circumstances gives me hope. I think that is the most important lesson that I am still learning. There is hope in adversity. There is even joy, oddly enough, in knowing that there is a better world out there and God loves me so much that he sent his son, Jesus Christ to die for me. I still get "blown away" by that.

Counting our blessings even in tough times

Over the past eight months I've grown to appreciate all the I do have. It admittedly has been a rough road for me trying to fill my days with work that I'm not getting paid to do and trying to find that elusive stable job. This period of unemployment has been different in many ways than my other bouts of unemployment. I'm older now, and not as flexible as I once was. People look at me differently too. Yet, I can still be thankful for so many things. I can be thankful for the money I'm receiving from the government to provide the things I need like food and shelter. I can be thankful for family and friends that haven't turned their backs on me yet and are still supporting my ongoing efforts to find stable employment. I have to admit at times I felt like giving up but they haven't let me. I do appreciate them all so much.

I can be thankful that I'm still in relatively good health since I'm like many who struggle to even afford health insurance. I feel sorry for those that do need it now, and are struggling to pay massive bills that are only going to get worse. I can be thankful that there are still a few caring doctors and nurses out there that are willing to break and bend the rules to get a person the best care they can get. I worry that too many are not and are willing to sacrifice those who need care the most so that everyone can get care.

I am thankful that the Lord is in control even now when it seems as if everything is falling apart at the seams. I can be thankful for his great love for you and me, a love that far surpasses my own. I admit that I do struggle to love my fellow man especially when I see the results of the hate they have for my beliefs. I still can't get over the fact that America chose a man who literally turned his back away from God. Yet, I still believe that the Lord will use him like he has used all the other men before him who have done the same thing. We can count our blessings even now as we pray for our world.

Is America heading towards a Civil War?

As many of you now know the election held last Tuesday has pretty much split the country even further than it had been four years ago. Some of us wept when we heard the news, and some remained stoic or in a state of denial. Yes, I have to admit that my heart ached when I realized my visions were becoming reality. Yes, I also see that one of two things will happen. States that feel strongly about their freedoms being taken away will secede from the country and/or our personal identity will be lost and millions who weren't supposed to die, will die.

Government now controls every aspect of our lives. We accept that control because frankly we like to eat....I am reminded however of the story of Esau. Esau was the firstborn son of Isaac and as the firstborn son he was entitled to his father's property and was to be given his father's blessing. Because he was hungry, he sold his birthright to his brother Jacob. The birthright entitled Esau to his father's property, so in essence he sold his soul for the temporary relief of being full. America has done the same thing here. Yes, there are some good things to be said about the new healthcare law...everyone will be covered....but at what cost? I'll tell you at what cost...the cost of our identity..

The question I pose with this post isn't simple. There are many factors that come into play when you talk about civil war. As much as this country is polarized right now with the myriad of new rules and regulations looming on the horizon and with the threat of our personal identity being compromised, I do believe that it will only be a matter of time and a few other factors before we see some real signs of a split between the Christian worldview and the Islamic worldview that is increasingly coming into focus within this country.

Reflecting on "The Star Spangled Banner" and what that means now

When I last visited Baltimore in celebration of the 200th anniversary of the Battle of 1812, I got a chance to see the flag being sown by both supporters and those who played the role of the woman who sewed that first flag that Francis Scott Key saw from a ship as it flew over Fort McHenry in Baltimore Harbor.

I recalled then the story of the woman and how much time and effort she and her servants put into making the flag. (Some of it is seen here in this picture from 2010.) Today, as I recalled how the song originated and listened again to the words composed by Francis Scott Key, I realized something basic. Like we are at this present time, Mr. Key faced an uncertain future. Any number of things could have happened that night as the bombs exploded overhead and the British threatened America's future. It was only God's intervention that saved Baltimore that night. It will be only God's intervention that saves us this night. What most don't realize now is that we are in a spiritual battle more real and terrifying than any physical battle. Some would look the other way, figuring that there was nothing anyone could do to stop the forces of darkness from overtaking the world. Maybe the Lord will allow this to happen and our world will darken even more with the coming of the Anti-Christ who will promise to lift us up, only to destroy us completely. The signs are all there. No one can deny them any longer or make excuses that they can't see what is right before their faces. Yet, maybe the Lord will intervene again on behalf of the American people and keep our country whole. It will split if God doesn't intervene tonight...that's for sure.

Even if it does split because of what happens tonight....I have to believe that morning will come like it did for Francis Scott Key...Maybe....Prayerfully with the dawn's early light we will see that the country is still standing. Yet, even if it doesn't, God is with me. So I'll hang onto that now.

God's timing is perfect-Lessons from Hurricane Sandy

At times yesterday when the wind howled and the rains came down I worried that I may have to evacuate. Many people have evacuated from the Jersey shore, and will be coming back to flooded houses and debris from downed trees. I heard however many people who have weathered the storm say that they were lucky to be alive. Hurricane Sandy proved to some that God's timing is perfect. Some were calling it the "perfect storm" with its mixture of cold and warm air masses that collided with each other to form a super storm of epic proportions. I believe that God provided some lessons to be learned here.

1) Trust in the Lord with all your mind, heart and soul. Trust that he has your best interest at heart even when it looks like the timing is all wrong.

2) Hurricanes are unpredictable. So is God....in some ways. We can't understand why things happen the way they do. We can only prepare and hope for the best. God knows what going to happen, but he lets us have free will in choosing our own destiny.

3) If someone tells you to get out....Get out! You can't hang on when it's time to leave or put yourself in a state of denial that anything is happening at all. God's timing....listen for it and act.

4) Lend a hand if you can. Don't let the fear mongers rule you. Worry is a sin. So those times when I worried, I prayed for those who were in harm's way, such as the firemen, policemen and utility workers. They all deserve special recognition for all they do to keep us out of harm's way.

5) No matter how big the storm, God is bigger. He provides for our every need.

I will continue to pray for all those affected by Hurricane Sandy and are still feeling the effects of the storm. Some are saying it may months before all is restored.

A big accomplishment-My 1st book

I've been working on this project for about a year and half now. Some days it didn't seem that long. Other days it seemed as if I've been working on it forever. The funny thing is now that I have the book in my hand, it still feels a bit strange. I mean this in a good way. It is very exciting to see your words in print and know that someone, hopefully many people will read it. I don't think I have mentioned this in this blog before now, but I am a history bluff. The only history I don't like is military history, as it gives me a headache.

Book "Images of America-Collingdale Borough...coming November 19th...

What I really like about completing this project is now I'm one step closer to my goal of getting a comprehensive history of my hometown in one place and accessible to all. Local history is important, and we all can learn a lot about ourselves when we look at the many facets of a typical small town in America or anywhere else for that matter.

I guess my fascination with time also has a lot to do with my love of history. I sometimes like to conjecture what it might have been like had one or two events in the past changed. I know lately that I have been wishing that we could all go back to the time before this mess happened and shake those in charge to do the right thing. Unfortunately we are stuck with what we have. Yes, I have to remind myself daily that it is God's will that this or that happens. I do struggle with this, even as I struggle with my current circumstances. I can be thankful for many things. One of them is having this avenue to express my thoughts to the world. It is truly a blessing to be able to witness this way about what the Lord has done for me and what he continues to do. I can't give in to fear and doubt about what's going to happen tomorrow because I know he holds the future in his hands.