A duty to serve vs a willingness to serve

Today I had the not so unique experience to be selected for jury duty. I say it's not unique, because if you count it a privilege to vote, you must also count on being selected to serve your fellow citizen. Some of us, when confronted with the choice to serve, willingly do so. We don't consider it a duty, but a privilege. Yet, you never really know if your service will be accepted or rejected. I got a good lesson in letting God have the control he has always had. I know that it was hard. At one time, during the time when the bailiff called out names, my heart felt as if it was going to jump out of my chest. I know I shouldn't have reacted that way. I know I should have let go. It's like my pastor kept trying to tell me. Stressing over things you can't control only brings you grief and tells God that you don't trust him.

Knowing that I need to have the willingness to serve is only part of the equation. I must be willing to act when it comes the time to act. I do struggle with duties and responsibilities. I know my duties to serve others, but need to find the willingness to serve them. It doesn't work when it's just plain duty that has you serving, instead of the actual willingness to serve. This means that I need to start thinking positively, and not negatively about the circumstances and place the Lord has placed me. This is my time and place, and what I do in the Lord's name reflects on him.

Numerology and Signs of the Times

I read the various posts about the significance of this day. Some would say that it is a sign that the end is near when the numbers line up like today. Of course I don't believe that. Yet I can see that there is some logic in the study of numbers and their hidden meaning. I know that some believe that there are codes in the bible that predict each and every event in time. That amazes and fascinates me. It also re-enforces that God is in control.

Just knowing God is in control makes everything bearable. I can move forward, embrace what life has to offer me and not worry about what the future may hold. I can have joy. I just have to learn to let go and let God lead me to where he wants me to go. It will take time. All good things do. I can be thankful that he is willing to be there with me every step of the way.

Welcome 2011- another year closer to Glory

2011 came quietly at my house. We opened a bottle of sparkling grape juice and toasted its beginning....No banging of pans accompanied this as in previous years. I guess we relished the quiet, which in past years would have been hard to come by. I understand now why we didn't really celebrate the coming of the new year. Quiet reflection has its place, I know. It had its place here, but not for long.

I fear that the quiet will be short lived, as the blanket of evil smothers the good all around it. Even now my ears ring with what will come. Even now my eyes smart and tear with what will come. I can't breathe for the oppressive energy dancing from the heavens. I feel its tingle on my bare skin, and shiver in anticipation. The signs are everywhere you look. Signs that the Lord will be back very soon. Will I be ready for his return? I don't know. My fears and doubts assail me. I long to see the one who saved me from myself, yet I worry that he will reject me. That is my greatest fear.

They tell me time is short, and I should make the most of every day. Yet they don't know what I go through. Am I a fool to want to see the Lord in all his glory now? Am I cowardly not to want to go through the great tribulation? No. The Lord is the master of time and space. He holds it all in his hands. We need to make the most of every day.

Reflections of the past year

When I think back on this past year, I can't help thinking about all the things I thought I would accomplish but didn't. I know if you are like me, then you probably tell yourself that you are going to do this or that. Yet you don't do it. You get too caught up in the rush of events that you don't take the time to do what really matters to you. Then there is the fact that it takes courage to come out of your comfort zone, and you let things slide until something happens to shake your world.

I have had my share of surprises this past year, but I have also been blessed beyond my comprehension. Getting out of the comfort zone is hard. You expect things to be a certain way, and get irritated when they are not that way. You learn that you need to let go, and let the people around you do the work they need to do. As much as you might like for time to go backwards or at least slow down, you need to accept that it won't.

I recall when it seemed as if time dragged. Now it seems more and more that time is going faster and faster. I guess part of it because I'm getting older. Time doesn't seem as plentiful as it was when I was young. I am still learning to cherish the time I do have, and do the things I say I'm going to do before time runs out.

So, these are my goals for the coming year: To take care of myself more, and stop stressing out about things I can't change. God is in control, and I have to relinquish control. To listen more to others, and stop interfering unless asked to do so. To learn more and be open to new opportunities to learn. To love as Jesus loves. I know that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me for the tasks ahead.

Christmas time-a time for hope and reflection

My thoughts during this time of year often wander towards a small baby in a manager over two thousand years ago. I ponder the miracle of one child whose destiny was to die for us all, and the fact that with his birth he provided a way for us to connect with God in a way that hasn't been done before. My mind gets "blown away" by the fact that God chose to come down to Earth as a baby so that he could bring us back to himself. He didn't have to do that. He could have left us and started over with another creation.

There is hope with God. He came to be near us. He came to redeem us and to free us from the tyranny of sin and death. "For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life." (KJV) Life, not death....Oh, why do we focus in on the decay all around us when the Lord says that he has come to bring us life? I think we're afraid to let go. I think we're afraid that he won't do as he promised. Fools! If we could only understand the sacrifice God made to send his Son to die for us, then we would set aside our fears and embrace the message the God gave us when he sent his Son.

The signs are all around us now. We just need to be open to them.

Unusual times and seasons

Often we don't realize the impact of our actions until it is too late. We try to blame others for what we should have known. We can rationalize, and then tell ourselves that we'll do better next time. Really? Who are we kidding? We live in unusual times, times that sometimes try our souls. We are fools to think that there are not consequences for our actions or that we can borrow and spend like there's no tomorrow.

God knows. His timing is perfect. We see his handiwork all around us, and take too much for granted. In this season, we need to reflect on his first coming and the unusual circumstances surrounding his birth. Then we can fully understand the unusual times and seasons we now live in. We can also let go, hard as it is, of the cherished memories of a simpler time.

I realize as I grow older that my destiny is in God's hands. I admittedly still struggle as I recall the many times he walked me through dark valleys. My heart sometimes still aches as I recall the last time I saw my grandmother lying in that coffin. I then think back and praise God for her.

Old and new friends

I sent my annual Christmas letter today. I like to keep in touch with the people I worked with at the various jobs I've held. I know some will probably throw my letter away without reading it. I don't mind that. I understand that for some, it might seem as if I was being too crass talking about myself. I'm guilty. I know some that look forward to my Christmas letter, not many, I grant you,.but some. I use my Christmas letter as a witness of my love for them, and to share God's love with them.

I recall, with some sadness, the two people that I connected with through the letters who died. I thank God that I was able in a small way to witness to them through the letters before they died. I can't dwell too long on the faces of the people that made their mark on my life and died before I could thank them. When I do, I pray for their families who are still dealing with grief and sadness. I thank God that he allowed them to come into my life and enrich it. Will they be like jewels in the crown I throw at the Lord's feet? I don't know. I'm anxious for that time. Will I be worthy? I know I'm not. So I thank God for his grace.