Growing Fears and Putting it all in Perspective

I took last week off to reflect and regenerate. It was Thanksgiving week, so my thought processes mainly went in the direction of being thankful. I do have a lot to be thankful for this year. I still have a home. I am in reasonably good health. I have a family that still supports me. I have enough food to eat.

The growing fears of being homeless are still there. I haven't had sustainable employment for almost six years. I also fear being alone. I have my family around me now, but they are getting older and more frail. There is also the fear that being unable to handle the fact that time is speeding up for me. I can't seem to grasp all the new technology. It seems so invasive and cruel. Machines have no soul. They can't think like human beings.

When I start to think and put things in perspective, I realize that the Lord has my back. He knows my every need. He even knows what I need before I need it. I just need to accept what he has for me. It's not easy. The fear of homelessness is still there. I can't deny it. I also can't deny that sometimes I feel so alone. I wonder if anyone even cares. I worry about my parents and grow weary with the pressure that they unconsciously put on me. They don't understand that the job market isn't what it used to be. There is just too much competition for employment.

I realize too that in some significant ways that people like me are being ostracized because they refuse to expose their personal information online. I have compromised a bit but there are some things I just refuse to expose. It did cost me. The younger generations are so used to putting it all out there that they just don't think twice about it. Sometimes I do wish I could be so free. I can't.

It's not just me. I see many people around me that distrust putting personal information online. The security leaks are enough to turn anyone's stomach. The manipulation of data is way too easy now. I do try to put it in perspective. I want to trust these organizations, but I can't. I've already been burned a few times with my very personal and private information. I also see the damage that this manipulation has done to others. My growing fears are that I will be sucked in the electronic vortex and lost forever....

Autumn Reflections and Dreams

I've been really busy lately. Two projects are pressing down on me. One of the projects is for Darby while the other one is for Collingdale. When I think about these projects and the ramifications that could affect the area for generations, i is sometimes overwhelming. I am looking for direction and a miracle. I need financial and moral support.

Five buildings are threatened with demolition. Two of the buildings are relatively new. The other three are almost 100 years old. The issue is that the developer is pushing through the demolition because they feel that there is no revenue to keep the buildings. In other words there is no incentive for them to keep the buildings. There is also too much expense to keep those buildings.

My dream of having a building that showcases the community's history. It would be great to see those buildings used as a community center. It would be wonderful to see the revitalization of this area. My dream of having a building that reflects the family values of the community would be nice.