End of An Era: Fighting for Freedom

The time between Christmas and New Year's is often a good time to reflect over events that happened in the past year. This year has been a "holding pattern" kind of year for me. I watched from the sidelines as things happened, but didn't feel the need to get involved. I recall now that I started this blog ten or eleven years ago. Back in 2009 we were just feeling the effects of the Obama policies. I'd got into a very unstable position. I was still working steadily, so I had that.

I do have a feeling that things will radically change this next year. The push for socialism and control will continue unabated. Democratic control ensures that the socialistic agenda will move forward. Some of us will be called to fight for our freedom. We will not be able to stand on the sidelines and watch.

In some ways we will witness the end of an era. No longer will we be able to stand back and wait on developments. As I listen to the fireworks go off, I cringe. I know that the lessening of laws have made it too easy to acquire and fire them off in residential areas. I pray for protection...that no stray embers fall on my roof or anyone's roof.

At times like this I admittedly feel helpless. I don't like this feeling. I know that I need to trust God more.

I need to remember that God does have a plan. It is a perfect plan. I may not like what I see before me. I may stress and worry about the future. Yet I do know that God has the future. I don't have to worry about what this new year will bring. The song I keep hearing is "I'm Almost Home."...At least I think that is the title of the song. When I hear these damn fireworks, I have to remind myself that I have no control over them. God does.

At times like this I feel needy. I know that this is a selfish feeling, because God fills all my needs. It is hard especially when I hear these damn fireworks and they seem so close! Oh, Lord...how I wish they were still banned.

I don't have any control. I pray that everyone's house is protected from fireworks, Lord God. Please place a shield around our homes that the fireworks will fall harmlessly to the ground and be put out without causing a fire. Please answer my prayer, Lord God for this country...that the fires that are now burning will be put out. We need you. I do claim your promise that you will not forsake us.

Celebrating Christmas and Looking Forward to the New Year

Tomorrow is Christmas Eve. When I think about the reason for the season, I realize how much we need to be reminded that God is in control. Jesus came to Earth at a time when Romans ruled the world. Israel was under Roman rule. The people were waiting eagerly for a savior. It wasn't known then that a savior had indeed come into the world. Most people were ignorant, wanting to believe whatever the Romans pressed onto them. Some were frightened by the world around them. They were oppressed and felt forsaken.

Jesus came as a baby in a manger. He was helpless and dependent on others. He was despised and rejected.  No one wanted to hear him. He didn't come as a king, but as an ordinary person. Yet his birth is celebrated even now. The angels proclaimed his birth to the shepherds, not to "important" people. It was ordinary shepherds who first visited the baby Jesus and told others about what they saw. It is the same today. Ordinary people still share the story of Jesus in the manger.

It wasn't until almost two years after his birth, that wise men from the East came to Bethlehem to see Jesus. It wasn't until Herod heard about the Messiah prophecy that he decided to kill all the male babies from birth to two years old in Bethlehem. When I think about the very narrow escape that Jesus had that sent him and his family to Egypt, I know that God's timing is perfect.

I do look forward to the New Year knowing that God's timing is still perfect. He is in control of all things, for all things came into being by him. It is a good reminder that God loves us so much that he sent his son to die for our sins...that we may have eternal life with him. 

Reflections of the Second American Civil War

You might be thinking that I'm jumping the gun here. You may even think I'm crazy, but it does seem that all the signs are here. The sad fact is that many of us are taking sides. We may not think that we are, but we can't help it. Everyone of a certain age can probably understand where I'm going with this. They, more than I, have seen with their own eyes the deterioration of our way of life. I hear them lamenting about it more each day.

The reason why I believe that we are actually in the beginning stages of a second civil war is what is currently happening in Congress. If you have been following the impeachment proceedings closely you might notice that there is a definite "disconnect" with the rules of the government. Some may argue that the president is really guilty of all the charges put against him. The problem with this is that most, but not all the evidence is "hearsay" and there are no real facts. It is too easy to manipulate the content to make a damning case against someone else nowadays.

It is this manipulation of the facts and changing of the rules that turns my stomach. I have a feeling that the globalists are behind all of this. They hate nationalism and seek to destroy nations so they can have a one world government controlled by them.

If you don't believe that we're in a civil war right now, even though it hasn't really gotten physical for the most part, then you're not looking closely at history. The issue that was fought in the first civil war is the same one we're being asked to fight again. This time it isn't a physical slavery but a societal slavery that we're fighting against in reality. In essence we are fighting for the very soul of our nation. The globalist representatives that are pushing to impeach this president understand very clearly that to defeat this nation they will need to brainwash the population into believing that the president is a nationalist. Then they have to keep pushing the narrative that nationalism is a bad thing...and that we all should be one big "family."

The globalist may look pretty. They may say the right things or tell you that you have no choice but to comply. There are globalist Republicans and Democrats. They are following a globalist agenda that calls for the dissolution of all nations into one global union. Will we win this civil war? I don't know. Only God knows that.

Practicing Thankfulness in An Ungrateful World

I have been thinking a lot about the concept of thankfulness. It is a word that comes up during this time of year when we sit down to eat a Thanksgiving dinner. In some cases thankfulness is a state of mind. We do tend to practice being thankful more when we start reflecting on all we have. It is good to reflect on the blessings God bestows on us every day. Sometimes it is hard to be thankful. We forget ourselves.

The world can be ungrateful and greedy. The words that are flung at you can sting. Yet when you practice thankfulness you can have a different perspective. You see the world in a new light. You understand that circumstances don't have to define you. You can rise above them.

I have been thinking about how blessed I am. I do have freedom to write and speak the words God gives me. I have the ability to see all the good in the people around me. I can choose to rise against the hate that builds near me.

The world doesn't have a hold on me. I depend on God through his son Jesus Christ. The world can't take that away from me. I am thankful for his provision in my life. The world is not my home. I wait eagerly for my home on high. One day I'll go there to be with him. There will then be a new heaven and a new earth.

An ungrateful world can only wallow in the darkness. I thank God for his light that cuts through the darkness. When I practice thankfulness, I leave the world behind in the darkness. I pray that his light shines through me so that others may see it.

The world is waiting for the second coming of the Lord. The time is drawing near. Will you be ready when he comes? That question resonates with me daily. The signs of his coming are all around me. Can you see them? I thank God for his promises. He is that shining light that will pierce the dark. The dark will cower in his presence. They won't be able to stand.

I see those promises and rejoice. I am his child. I practice thankfulness in every thing I do. Yes, sometimes I do falter when I let myself wallow in despair. Despair saps my strength, but God lifts me out. I can be thankful for all the blessings he bestowed on me. I don't have to wallow and embrace the darkness. Yes the world is ungrateful for the many blessings the Lord has given them.

Trials and Tribulations-Riding A Huge Shift in Local History

It has been a very tumultuous two weeks. I've had a lot to process with the election on November 5th that changed my local hometown's history forever. It was a huge shift that some weren't expecting when the electorate selected a black female to run my local hometown. She is going to have some trials and tribulations when she takes office in January. Her problems have already started with the abuse she received from those who disagreed with her selection. Some of her friends say she is a strong woman. She will have to be to bring this community together.

The local organization that ran out of the borough building took the selection hard. They cleared out their rooms, almost destroying their history in the process. It was fortunate that a member of the society was there to witness it personally. He successfully put a stop to it. The impression that the dissolution of their rooms remains. It is much the same as the impressions being left by those in the federal government at the present time.

This is a huge shift. No one is denying this. Unfortunately the impression that the new administration will "wreck" the rooms and steal the artifacts is a false one. The society has stepped in to offer our help. We're not sure what they will do. I will send out a proposal in January once I make a connection with the new administration.

The local VFW has been more than generous. I do hope that this organization will not abuse the privilege that has been granted to them. I am glad to hear that the organization will be meeting there. I was reminded of the success of the event we had on Veterans Day. I'm thinking that we were able to connect them with that space. I am blessed to know the commander there. It was his willingness to allow us to meet there that facilitated this.

Yes, this huge shift in local history will be felt for years to come. Some will say that change is unavoidable. I do pray that it will turn out to be a good change, and not the bad change that created the reaction of the organization when they dissolved their rooms.

It is interesting as we ride this huge shift that our small town in its own way reflects the whole country's attitude. I can see it so clearly as I pray through the hearings that are literally tearing this country apart at the seams. There are questions about whether or not we'll even have a viable country when everything is said and done. There are forces that threaten to destroy any vestige of humanity from us. They pull us in and goad us on. They love to fuel the hatred and anger that simmers on the surface. They embrace the dark, and hate the light. Yet there is still an undeniable light in the darkness. I can see it. Jesus is that light. In him is no darkness at all.

Finding Stability in an Unstable World

This title is the title for many sermons. It is appropriate because so many of us are feeling unstable. We no longer have the anchors we depended on for so long. It wasn't that long ago that most of us could depend on the news media for accurate and timely news. It hasn't been that long that we depended on our government officials to do the right thing. I can remember when the world went a lot slower and honored those who stuck with an organization. I can also still remember when you had a job for life.

Now we do struggle. There are no solid positions, at least I haven't found any. Everyone is being pushed into the gig economy where you contract out jobs and people. We have reached the point where machines can do all the mundane work. Even our money is transitory. One minute it is there and the next it is gone.

This is an unstable world. It is difficult to find stability when everything moves at lighting speed. You have stop but are not sure how. Finding stability in an unstable world is impossible without God. He is outside time and space. He is all-knowing and all-powerful.

We don't have to struggle once we realize that God is in control. He is our stable core and the answer to the "six blind men and the elephant" puzzle. Only God can bring all the perceptions together as a whole. I admit that I have been struggling with this puzzle for awhile now. I wondered how all the perceptions of one animal could be brought together.

It shouldn't surprise me that the "six blind men and elephant" puzzle stumped me. I was looking at it all wrong. I thought wrongly that because everyone perceived things differently that there could be no consensus. Solving this puzzle though is a key element to finding stability. Right now the world is unstable because no one is willing to attach themselves to the one stable element in the universe. That stable element is God. He is the answer to that puzzle.

With God in the picture things definitely become clear. The perceptions of men that design to lead people away from God have no power. It is only through God that we can find stability in an unstable world.

I know now that I need to rely more of God than on my own devices. Thank you, Lord for stability.

Riding The Waves of Change

You might be thinking right about now why I titled this blog post "Riding The Waves of Change." This week I've really felt that I have been literally riding the waves. One day would be great. The next day I'd feel as if the bottom dropped out. It hasn't been easy adjusting to the life I now have. Some very wise people tell you that you really can't predict how grief will affect you. No one has the guidebook on how you're supposed to live after this type of loss.

There are still some things I can't get past. I do want to get past them at times. Other times I just want to cling to stuff I probably should be letting go. I am slowly learning to let go and not rally against the changes that are taking place. I do want to ride those waves of change knowing that God is unchangeable. I sometimes doubt that. I reason that God has changed because he can't remain static. I don't grasp then that God has to remain stable.

There is something deep inside me that yearns for that stability. In this ever changing world where everything seems unstable, it is good to know that God remains stable. He is the one unchangeable focus in the universe. It is because God is always there and constant that I can confidentially ride the waves of change. I know that I can depend on him to see me through and bring me home.

Some of you reading this now can probably relate to the feeling of being tossed to and fro by the waves of change. You can't understand all that is happening around you. You want to. It seems impossible and a bit overwhelming. I can definitely relate to feel overwhelmed by all that is happening in our country. I admittedly hate change, even when it's a good change. It has been a struggle for me to accept the changes and move on. I am not the type of person who readily embraces change. I guess it is in my makeup to question the changes, balk a little and then test the waters. I like having a solid base in which to lean on when these changes occur.

I am not someone who changes "just because" someone says that the change will be good for me. I like to take my time and analyze the change first. Some people hate that I just don't jump when opportunity shows itself. I am a steady and dependable person even when I'm riding the waves of change. I thank the Lord that he is my rock and fortress in the storms of life.

Finding New Life in a Hostile World

These past two weeks have been eye opening to say the least. My mind is still processing things. I am realizing that things that I thought were pretty stable aren't really that stable. It happened like most things happen. I wasn't prepared for it. I don't think anyone can prepare. The world of my youth and those shadows of the past that frightened me then are a reality now. Yet surprisingly the fear that I felt then doesn't effect me the same way. It is hard to describe.

It is funny how things that happen outside your own little world can affect you so much. I had to admit that I didn't have a clue on how to move forward. The information I received disturbed me. I had to process it, analyze it and make some sense of it. It wouldn't be easy. I had to trust that God knew this was happening and had orchestrated it from the beginning.

I am grateful that God is in control. With him I do have new life in this hostile world. Without him I am nothing. It is a lesson that I need to learn over and over again. I can't let frustration and anger get the best of me. I have to allow God to do his perfect work. I have to be his willing servant and heir.

Yes, when I think about all the deception in the world, I cringe. In my own strength I am no match for Satan's schemes. He loves to throw the doubt and despair card at me. He loves to distort words to rile up enemies. He is the Father of Lies. I know that I have no power on my own. I crumble and flail when I'm left to my own devices. Yet I also know that I'm never alone. I can find new life in this hostile world. I can rise above those who would pull me down into the pit of despair and desperation. I'm not going there anymore. I am embracing the new life God has given me through his son's sacrifice.

I can't ever forget that sacrifice. Jesus took my place. It is because of him that I can live in this hostile world. It is because he lives that I live in him. That concept sometimes still blows me away. I struggle to comprehend his great love for me. I do long for others to know this love. My words felt inadequate to express it properly. (John 3:16) For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son that we may have eternal life. Pondering those words again makes my heart soar.

Persecution in A Modern Society: Technological Outcasts

Last week I realized something important about myself. I realized that the technical elites that are so dependent on social media and other electronic means condemn technological outcasts. I've been living between two different worlds. The world that I grew up in and the world that is rapidly taken over with its blinding speed. No one really understands why there is so great a push to ensure that technological outcasts are blocked from contributing to society.

This is persecution in a modern society. When society gets to the point where technological outcasts are demonized and ridiculed for wanting the technological advances to slow down and cease, then this is a big problem. I have struggled with this persecution of those who refuse to embrace the technological revolution. I don't want everything about me controlled by some unknown and cold entity. I like having control. Technological outcasts are sometimes known as Neo-Luddites, which means that they strongly object to any technological advancement.

I heard something that twists my stomach to think about in the last week. If I let myself dwell too much on it, I just may be sick. The technological elites mean to control the population by withholding food from those who don't do their bidding. The manipulation of data streams with the technological elites demanding more and more sickens me to the core. This is persecution in a modern society. When someone can lock someone else out of essential services just by making it very difficult for that person to access them, that is a huge problem. I'm actually glad to know that my parents won't have to suffer this persecution.

I have to ask myself why this is happening. There has been some "push back" from all the technological advances. There are some people that aren't willing to sacrifice themselves to the technological gods of this world. It is becoming harder and harder though to stay away from the technology. It seemingly runs everything and reminds me of a movie I watched in class when I was a young child. I was frightened by the images of robots literally taking over the world. I admittedly am still frightened as I see the images I once saw in the movie becoming our reality.

How can we stop this? I don't know. Some days I do pray that the Lord will intervene soon. Other days I look at my nieces, nephews, grand niece and grand nephew and know that they live with the technological advances and think nothing of it. They may never know the world as we knew it. Hopefully they will remember the technological outcasts and help us.

Stepping Forward in Faith

This week has been a little overwhelming. You all know my struggles, at least those that I've made public...that is. I have learned that I really need to step forward in faith. It is scary. I don't have the support system I had before. I do have friends and family that have really stepped up. Yet I still struggle. I know I should trust God and I do. Sometimes life gets overwhelming as I try to process everything.

I am learning to focus on what matters to me. I am learning to lean on God, knowing that he loves me. I am learning to let go and dream. It has been difficult to remain positive and step forward in faith. It's not impossible. I have been thinking about my dream job lately, trying to visualize what it would entail. I think I'd like to be archivist, but it seems like an impossible goal. I like what the archivist does in researching and documenting history.

History is so important. Our history is what defines us. It gives us our identity. As I step forward in faith and wait on the Lord's leading, I am reminded that he has the perfect plan and purpose for me. I don't feel selfish to wish for his plan to move forward. There is so much that I have learned and that I am still learning.

People talk about history disappearing. I've also heard that history is often rewritten to reflect distorted images of truth. I believe that truth always pushes through. It is never hidden. When I feel stuck and overwhelmed by the tasks that need to be done, I pray for calmness and release. I know that I'm not alone. I do thank God that he holds me in his hands so that I can step forward in faith knowing that he will hold me up.

Moving Forward and Not Back: A Lesson in Humility

These past two weeks have been a bit strained as I struggled a bit with the new normal. You might be thinking that I should be past this by now. It has been a year since my mother passed. I let go of the guilt I felt back then. I have in some ways moved forward. Some days are better than others.

I am learning a lesson in humility. Pride sometimes gets in the way. I struggle because there's just something that just doesn't want to let go. I can't get pass it. I really want to. I want to be used by God in whatever capacity he deems me to be used.

Tomorrow we will commemorate the day when the world changed forever. We will mourn those that lost their lives that long ago day, but we will also thank God that they aren't here. You may wonder why I say that. The country those people knew is definitely not the same country we know today.

It was on that day that America proved its vulnerability to outside attacks. It also opened the floodgates for those who would tear this country apart at the seams. We didn't realize then. There was a brief time of patriotism and unity with the shared tragedy. It didn't last long. We moved forward and not back. We didn't want to think about what just happened. There was no rallying cry for revenge that time because there was no country or person responsible. At least that was what the news media had us believing at the time.

America was no longer invincible. Our core beliefs in the morals that our grandparents learned weren't there to guide us. We were left drifting and humiliated. Some would have us believe that we could go back to that time of prideful ignorance. We can't. We have already been attacked from within. Yet there is hope for those who haven't turned their backs on God and his plan.

We shouldn't continue to rely on America and its leadership to run our lives. We should pray for that leadership that they make wise decisions but we can't depend on them. We do have to move forward and not back while we learn lessons in humility.

It won't be easy. No one ever said life would be easy. We do need more than ever to lean on God through his son Jesus Christ. God's plan is perfect. We need to start accepting that maybe God's plan is to let America fall. It is a scary thought. I do believe that God has used and will continue to use those in powerful places. They may not understand how they are being used or why it's happening. Yet if we are humble enough, we'll see God at work. We don't need to understand. We just have to trust him.

Mourning The Loss of A Financial Institution That's Been Around Since 1853

Today was the first official day of the merger of what was a really good banking institution to one that has some really bad reviews. A lot of the former customers of the bank that was merged with this new/old banking institution are very unhappy. I can't say that I blame them. We've all gotten used to the old bank and are a bit steamed at being railroaded into this new/old banking institution. I won't name names here.

There are some things to be thankful for in the transition. The new/old banking institution is giving us until March before they start instituting their fees. I hope that they stick with this. I do believe even with this waving of fees there will be at least half of the customers leaving for "greener" pastures. I can tell them truthfully that there really are no "greener" pastures. I've been through this at least three times already. I can still remember all three times.

I hung on that first time when the bank that I had been banking with changed names. The second time something happened and I had to change banks. The third time the bank merged with a foreign entity which made me uncomfortable, so I switched banks. This time around I may go with a credit union. I am grateful that I have this opportunity to discover what a new bank can do for me.

I learned the hard way not to tie up my money with direct deposits to my account. It takes at least three weeks for everything to be straightened out. That was a while ago, so things may have changed. I do have to change a few things now as I get used to this new/old banking institution. My prayer is that my personal information is still safe and my accounts haven't been touched. It is very nerve wracking when you hear stories about people who used this institution having serious issues.

I am hanging on for now waiting for the dust to settle before I make any changes. I do mourn the loss of that financial institution as I feel like I'm on shaky ground. I am praying for security and wisdom as I research financial institutions that will suit my needs. I pray for all those that are affected by this transition as well. I know some employees of that financial institution are mourning with me.

Not Giving In To The Socialist Agenda: Moving Forward

Things are starting to look up. It has been a long time that since I succumbed to the pressure of financial instability. I am only now starting to see a light ahead of me that wasn't there before. I know that I had to go through the trials in order to realize what a great God we have.

Yes, it does seem like the forces of evil are touting enslavement through socialism. I trust that God is in control. He has a plan for us. We can move forward away from the enslaving forces of socialism. I know the struggles many of us still have. We are being manipulated to feel a certain way.

There is no reason to fear that the socialists will take over this country. God loves us. He rejects those who reject him. We have to continue to repent of our sins and our rejection. Socialists reject God. You have to believe that God is bigger than the socialists. It may seem rosy and good to have something for nothing. This is Satan's ploy. He waves the "toys" around, making them look attractive. He tells you and tempts you to "go ahead and take a bite of that apple."

Yes, this is the socialist agenda to promise free stuff to the masses, only to realize that the free stuff isn't really free. I have to admit that I have succumbed from time to time. Who doesn't like free stuff? I am realizing however that there is just too great a price attached to that free stuff. It makes ordinary people do strange things.

Our country does need help. Our young people, especially need help to realize what they are embracing is temporary and fleeting. We do need to get back to our roots, but also move forward. I am not giving in to the socialist agenda. I am not going back to povertyville but trusting God to pull me out. I have to move forward, relying on God to guide me through.

I know I do have to start shaking off the chains that have bound me up for so long. I have to start claiming the salvation that the Lord has given me. I thank God for all he is doing, all he has done and all that he will do. I can move forward and not give in to the fear of a socialist government.

Working My Way Out of Povertyville

Last week I finally broke down and took care of the issue I was having. I got help. I am glad I did. There are still things I'll probably need to face. I know that I can't do it all alone. If I am going to continue my progress out of poverty I am going to have to reach out to others. It is a fools errand to think that I can do anything under my own power and with my own resources.

I met some amazing people. I am realizing that I don't have to be afraid anymore. I can step out of my comfort zone. No one ever said it would be easy. Sometimes I do wish it was.

I still have a long way to go. I have to be patient. I can't let things stress me out anymore. It is hard to be patient. You want things now, not tomorrow. You wish that you could do the things you want to do. Yet I am realizing more and more that the things that you want to do aren't necessarily the things that are good for you to do.

Looking at my life now I know that I really do still have a lot going for me. I got to start focusing on the positive, not the negative. I know myself a little better.

There are many tasks before me. There are many choices to make. As I work my way out of poverty, I do have to keep in mind my goals. I set some mini-goals that are easy to do. The first mini-goal is to release the negative mindset. That negative mindset is hindering me from reaching my goal of sustainable work. The second mini-goal is to continue to dream about possible jobs I can do without paying for more education. Dreaming is easy. I do have a passion for historic preservation. That is a wide field that I'm still discovering after three years. Yet my passion hasn't waned. There are jobs out there for people in that field. The daunting aspect is that most of the jobs require a masters degree. I can't do that now.

I can't help thinking that I could make a job for myself in this field. I'm just not sure where to begin. Any job would require me to get more involved with the government. It does seem that the government has taken more and more control.

I don't like this control because it makes it hard to get out of poverty. You become dependent on the government for your welfare. As I work my way out of povertyville, I do have to find a way to cut the government cord. Please pray for me.

Living and Finding Hope

It really actually felt like hell this past week with temperatures of over 100 degrees. I didn't get by unscathed or untouched. Right now I'm dealing with something I'm not sure I have the strength to face. It has affected how I'm living right now. I'm trying to find hope that things will clear up. It is scary, I have to admit.

I hear of friends going through trials. I feel for them. It isn't easy to keep a smile on your face when you're going through a particularly hard trial. You wonder why. There doesn't seem to be any easy answers. You tell yourself that things just have to get better for all of us. Yet every day it seems that things are getting worse.

It doesn't matter. You tell yourself. Maybe I am just fooling myself to keep handing onto hope. No, my God knows me. It does matter. Hope can bloom in a vacuum. I hang onto the Lord's promises for a good life. He won't give me anything that I can't handle.

I am admittedly scared. It is hard to know what to do. Even after so long a time, I miss my Dad. He would know what to do. At least I like to think he would.

It won't be long some people say. I am living now in the hope of the Lord's return. I am finding hope in God's word. I can stand on his promises for my life even when I'm scared. I confess my fear to the Lord. He takes it away.

I pray for healing. This old world needs it.

Living in Paradise vs. Living in Hell

You might think that this title is kind of strange. Who in the right mind would choose to live in hell? Yet this is what we do. We forget all the Lord has done for us. We can't remember his promises or what life can be. We are envious of those who seem to have it all together.

You could be wrong. Those people that you think are living in Paradise could be fooling you and themselves. God is not a god of deception and lies. He doesn't change as many think. He is the same yesterday, today and forever. We don't have to be envious of those who have it all together. We just have to realize and reach out. No one has to live in Hell.

I have to ask myself why I continue to struggle. I should be content. I am, according to most of the world, living in Paradise. I have all that I need because the Lord supplies it. I don't have to worry about where my next meal is coming from. Yet I still let petty things crowd my mind. I'm sometimes not grateful and find myself looking up from the pit of despair. I know that sin wars with my being sometimes making me do things I wouldn't ordinarily do. Thus the struggle...

I have a redeemer. I don't have to live in Hell. I can choose to follow the Lord. When I reflect on God's Word I start to realize that he has a good plan for my life. I don't have to struggle. I can rest in him.

Right now it might not seem like your life is going anywhere. You may feel that the circumstances you are in make it feel like you're living in hell. You may wonder if there is any way out. There is. I've been going through a rough patch, but God is with me. I look forward to living in paradise with him.

Reflections on America in a Globalist Society

It may be hard to admit. America has been suckered in by the siren song of the globalist. Ordinary citizens don't count anymore. We're too dependent and have been for far too long on other countries. These countries know this. They have tried to manipulate our way of life telling us that we're wrong and evil. They tell us hourly that we need to let go of our American ideals and embrace the new world order. Technologies are now here that are rapidly stealing our individuality and freedom.

We are told over and over that cash is evil. Our children are being indoctrinated in the godless and reckless "anything goes" mentality. Some would have you believe that patriotism is dead. America is tottering on the brink of dissolution. Globalism seizes and destroys a nation's identity. Yes we can try to fight the globalist pull on our lives. It won't work.

I've been feeling depressed lately about the state of America. I see the effects of technology on society as a whole. We're too dependent on what we see on the mainstream media. None of us seem willing to do some digging on our own. I admit that I haven't. I do try to research various sources for information. It is hard. It seems like every bit of information is controlled and manipulated to some degree.

Can America survive as an entity? I don't know. I do know what's currently happening in different areas around the world can happen here in America. It is no stretch of the imagination to see the divide between those who long to hang onto the vestiges of freedom and individuality and those who wholeheartedly embrace the conformity and sameness of a new world order. Right now I do see some glimmers of hope that America will survive the onslaught of the globalist agenda. It's only a small glimmer as I see artificial intelligence and other fancy technological advances swiftly taking over.

The globalists would like the new world order to happen as quickly as possible. They feel that they have been waiting for too long already. They hate America for what it stands for. They will do anything in their power to bring this nation down and dissolve it forever. They want us to be one big happy "family" in a global union. They are fooling themselves. America won't go down in the pages of history without a fight.

Rejoicing and Letting Go

I had a relatively good week. I started on a project, had another project thrust upon me and continued the ongoing search for meaningful work. My family did bless me by allowing me some time to reflect on where I was going. I know now that I do have to stop some habits that were dragging me down. I do have a lot to be thankful for. I can rejoice that I'm in relatively good health. I can stop focusing on what's wrong with my life. I can let go of the anxiety that has been my constant companion for far too long.

I know God loves me. I know that he does have a plan for this phase of my life. I can let go of the doubts and fears that drag me down. I can rejoice that I will be well provided for and trust that God will guide me. It hasn't been easy for me to let go. The old demons that tell you that you're stuck in the pit of poverty and despair have been trying to drag me down. It is hard to see past the circumstances that led me here struggling to break free.

I am excited about the projects, hoping that something good will come out of them. I can't let fear dominate me anymore. There will be some things that I feel I'm not capable of doing. I have to face them head on, and press forward. Yes, it will be scary. Public speaking is not my "cup of tea" but I will do it. I just have to set my mind to do it. I can rejoice that the message will get through and let go of my doubts. The Lord knows what I need.

Beginning A New Life: Stepping Out into the Unknown

I took the week off last week to prepare myself for the changes that would soon take place. I wanted to reflect on what I've done in the past. I also wanted to understand what tools I had in the present to prepare for the future. This beginning isn't going to be easy. I'm going to have to relearn somethings, let go off other things and step out into the unknown.

All the signs are there. I know I have to stop sitting on this fence waiting for stuff to happen. This new life is a bit scary. I admit that I do sometimes hate change. I like having some control. Yet right now I'm realizing that I never really had any control. The things that have happened and are happening in my life now are because God ordained them to be. I sometimes get so tense and stubborn about things that I can't see anything.

This chapter of my life can be exciting as I reach out to learn new stuff. I don't have to let people label me as too old to do stuff. I am going to stop making excuses that I can't do this or that. I know my body is changing. I know that the world is running scared. I can't let the world rule me. I have to let God rule me.

I'm not sure what my next steps will be. I do question whether I should go back to school again or avail myself of the free courses available online. What will I study? There is just so much information out there! My head is spinning with the possibilities. I sometimes feel frozen wondering why I still can't focus on what I want out of life.

I step out into the unknown feeling a bit queasy inside. It has been a long time since I stretched myself this way. I think I've been afraid to do much. It has been way too easy to dismiss the new life I'm now living here. There will be some adjustments. It is all a beginning.

Transforming Ourselves For A New Life

It has only been since my parents died last year that I've had to change my whole outlook on life. I was no longer a caregiver as I had been since 2012 in some form. I no longer had to worry about what my parents may think of what I was doing and why. I realized a lot of things that I depended on were now gone too. It was and in some ways still is a scary time.

This transformation of myself takes time. I don't have all the answers about what's going to happen to me in the long term. That may be a good thing. We were never meant to stress ourselves out over the future. Yes, admittedly I still struggle with the feeling of loss. I guess I may never get over it completely. I struggle to fit into this new life that I've been thrust into through the death of my parents. I've had to learn slowly to create a new pattern and find a new direction.

Some days it just feels overwhelming. New technological breakthroughs are happening too quickly for me to grasp. Employers seem to expect too much or not enough. I am fighting my way through the morass trying to find a foothold. It isn't easy.

Transformation takes time. No one wants to acknowledge this fact. It doesn't happen in a second. It doesn't happen automatically. It can't be forced. Yes, it can happen and be beautiful when it happens.

What will that new life be like? I often wonder. I see the ugliness now of this world that seemingly grows worse by the day. Is this transforming power something to be grasped? I don't know. I only recall vaguely that unless we die to our old selves we can't live. It is a continuing process I understand. We are transformed daily, either through the sordid junk that we surround ourselves with or through the pure words of God's written word.

We have lost something precious in the past forty years. Growing up in the "me" culture where traditional worship has gone by the wayside I really didn't realize what was missing. I now have an inkling. I can see the loss of stability as clear as day.

The older generations understand this loss better than we do. They were solidly taught the morals and standards that guided this nation from the beginning. We weren't because some of our parents rebelled against those morals and standards. We are the byproduct of their rebellious ways. I do see some glimmers of hope in this current generation. They see what has happened to us. Some have come to embrace the old morals that have been uncovered. They find that there is no going back or moving forward.

Reflections of America: Fighting Through The Storms

We just commemorated the sacrifices of our soldiers, airmen, and sailors that died for the cause of freedom. Memorial Day is a day set aside to reflect on the state of the union. I realize that we are the midst of a storm that has been brewing for years. America has been always been a nation that has fought for freedom. We think about how our freedoms aren't free.

The state of the union is unsettled today. There are forces at work here that are threatening to tear the country apart. We are currently fighting through the storms of adversity. Globalism and socialism wear out the moral fabric of society.

We seem to have forgotten why these sacrifices were made. America is the Land of the Free and the home of the Brave. The sacrifices weren't in vain. They sacrificed so we could live in a free country. The increasing pressure from the socialists would have you believe that those sacrifices were in vain. They would have you believe that if you allow the government to dictate your every move you'll be free. It is foolish and dangerous. Nothing is free. Big government and massive regulations have sucked the lifeblood out of this country. I don't want to live in a country that curtails my freedoms. This movement will do just that.

Learning From The Past, Peering Into The Future

This past week I've had the opportunity to explore two historic sites in my hometown. The first impressions of the sites were that parts were very run down. There were spots that looked bad at first. It was only when I was made to see the potential that I could really see the good. I discovered beautiful wallpaper, elegant wood paneling, and a solid cement structure. I also saw a unique fire door that separated one building from another one.

It was fascinating to discover even in the vacant classrooms a sense of all the children that passed through the hallways. It was nice to see the old cloakrooms right beside the classrooms looking as they must have looked when children hung up their coats. I learned that the school had 100 kids in each classroom. That information wowed me as I contemplated how the teachers must have ruled the school. There had to be some discipline with that many kids. When I look at how schools are today, I do wonder what happened. If you had that many kids in one classroom today, it would be chaos.

The convent I visited also interested me. It wasn't as run down as the school but still had some issues. I liked the small chapel and the meeting rooms. I can imagine some good uses for the building. I imagine a meeting area that is bigger than the current one over at the borough hall. I imagine a place for workshops and other events.

There is a lot to learn from the past. Respect for the community is one lesson that sadly gone by the wayside. It was taught at the schools and took the form of pride. Yet I don't see that nowadays. When I peer into the future I see a bland robotic state. There is no sense of accomplishment here. The statues and memories of yesterday are being torn down and forgotten. No one wants to remember any more. I guess that is why I cling so much to the past. I want people to know and understand their past so they can move confidently into the future.

Looking for a Ray of Hope and a Sense of Purpose

If you have been following this blog for a little while you probably know of my struggle. It is hard to keep moving when it seems that everything is going south. I have tried time and time again to hang onto that ray of hope. You know that it is increasingly more difficult to find the good in all the rubbage that is flying around. I would justify myself for the trapped feeling I have whenever I try to find some purpose in my life.

The Lord knows my struggle. I know that he is in control but sometimes it is very hard. I look diligently trying to see outside my own little world. I know that I don't want to go back to what I was, a very selfish and self-centered person. Yet this world's message keeps hammering away. It tells me that I shouldn't be thinking of others, but have the mentality of "me first." It also keeps telling me that I'm too old and too run down. I sometimes feel myself agreeing with that statement. I do feel like I'm being torn in two balancing between two different worlds.

I do have to remind myself that I am created in God's image. I am his daughter. He has me in the palm of his loving hand. Jesus has overcome the world. I was created for his glory, not my own glory.

Yet I am still so selfish. I have difficulty saying things and struggle for the right words. I selfishly want that feeling of doing something meaningful and name worthy. I know it is a struggle we all face. We don't like to admit it. We shy away from it. We may even reject it outright by trying unsuccessfully to be pious. I have to be honest. Yes, I sometimes love attention. I like being the center of attention too.

It is hard when you feel the walls closing in on you. You wonder if you really actually belong anywhere. You do. God has placed you where you are for a reason. You do have a purpose in life. Keep looking for that ray of hope as it dawns. Stop struggling with stuff you can't understand. Thank the Lord for each day.

Growing Pains: The Church in Transition

It was rumored that another huge change was coming four months ago. The relatively new pastor at the church I regularly attend made a very strong suggestion to combine the two Sunday morning services. The church had made a radical change about ten years earlier to split the traditional Sunday service into a contemporary service and a traditional service. The contemporary service would serve the needs of those who felt they weren't being served by the traditional service. In other words, they were bored out of their minds and rebellious. I don't blame them, but it did create some issues that weren't present before. The contemporary service relaxed the discipline and morals that the traditional service enforced. It allowed for more freedom to worship whatever way a person wanted to worship. It deluded the message considerably.

The traditionalists, at first, weren't happy about the change. They saw what was happening to the church and the message. Some balked and left the church to find another church that still had traditional services. Others stuck it out, figuring that they should embrace the new ways of reaching others for Christ. They liked the fact that there was still room for them at the church. They also liked the fact that they could still stick to the traditional service at the traditional time. Unfortunately, church leadership noticed that traditional service attendance was declining a few years ago. There were still people attending this service but many were senior citizens set in their ways. The traditionalists, in other words, were dying and no one was replacing them. The young with a few exceptions were being steered away from the traditional services with their authoritative settings and serious tones. It isn't surprising. The moral decay of the outside world is affecting the church in a big way.

It was decided about two years ago due to the decline in church attendance to change things up. For the first time in the church's history, the traditional service time would change from 11 am to 11:30 am. The contemporary service would move to 9 am with the Sunday School hour in between. It worked but once the new pastor came on board, he wanted to change it once again. He couldn't do it that first year as he was still getting settled in his new position. It wasn't until he served two years that he decided on some more radical changes.

The changes included forcing people to "shepherding" groups designed to make people embrace new theologies and break barriers. It also included the elimination of some old habits that were hampering the church's growth. Some changes were good. The church really does need to reach out to the community more. This huge change, however, will alienate the remaining traditionalists by flipping the church service to an earlier time and creating a forced social time between church and Sunday School.

Christianity Under Attack: Signs of The End Times

I have to admit that I hadn't really thought about Christianity being under attack until my Sunday School teacher mentioned the brutal attacks in Sri Lanka on Easter Sunday. You might think that I've been living under a rock not to notice how Christianity has become a dirty word for the masses. You may also think that what's happening now worldwide is perfectly normal. We all are what some say are "undercover" Christians. We don't toot our horns about our faith. We don't push our beliefs on others. Yet every day I read something else about how our faith is being ridiculed by those who just don't understand.

I can't help thinking that itching ears and wandering souls are part of the problem. The current generation doesn't have the anchor that we had when we were young. Their itching ears follow the most enticing stuff and end up wandering through the wasteland. Some were taught that the established church was holding them back. It is true that there is some moral standard that the church used to teach. It is also true that the moral standard provided a solid foundation. In most churches, especially those that have succumbed to the pressure to make the church more accessible, moral standards have been lost.

I have tried to understand why Christianity is under attack. The more I dig the more I find that it is not the watered down church that accepts everyone that is under attack. These churches have lost their way because they have decided to cater to the desires of the masses and sacrifice their principles. I believe that the churches that were attacked both in the US and overseas had a couple things in common. They decided to remain true to biblical morals and reach out to those who would listen.

I don't have an answer for what will happen next. God does. Yes, we do have to put on our armor and be ready to defend our faith. Yes, there may be a time when we'll have to choose to continue our walk with God despite the consequences. No one ever said the Christian life was easy. Preachers that preach this are wrong. I know I can't do anything on my own but God lifts me up. I am praying for the families and friends affected by the attacks on Sunday that they may know peace.

Preparing For Easter: A Season of Rebirth and Recommitting Life

Yes, I can readily admit that I am at the stage in my journey where I'm ready for a change. Life has been really hard over the past year and a half. I have lingered in the valley wondering if I'd ever get past the grim reminders of my past mistakes.

Yes, I know that the past can't affect me if I don't let it. I have been reflecting on Jesus' actions and words during Holy Week. I realize that I have been very selfish. I allowed myself to sink into the "woe is me" mode. I haven't given of myself to anyone.

Yes, I see how Jesus died for me. I realize that I don't have to wallow in the pit of despair and despondency. I can recommit my life to his service. I don't have any idea what that will entail right now. His sacrifice for me is more than enough.

No, I won't give in to the world's temptations. I can't live in the darkness anymore. I will try not to hold onto the things that weigh me down. I am ready for rebirth and renewal.

No, I won't let go of the hand that stretches out to me. I will embrace the love he has for me. As I prepare for Easter I realize that the most important thing is that he lives. I serve a living God. I serve a God who cares for me and loves me unconditionally.

No, I am not crazy. I love the Lord. I will not be afraid to say so. I will not hide or pretend that I'm someone I'm not.

When I think about the Easter season I praise God for his gift. He has blessed me more than I could possibly repay. He has given me new life in his son, Jesus Christ. May you all know the blessings that I have received and the freedom I know in my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

A Local Fight for Open Space: Struggle for Relevance

It all comes down to money. No one seems to understand that. You throw enough money at a situation all the walls come down. You may say that you're fighting for open space. When it all comes down to the facts that the owner has every right to do what he or she wants with the property. They can: build and develop the landscape, leave it as open space or a combination of the two.

You may struggle for relevance because "sacred ground" doesn't hold when you are talking about a property with extreme development pressure. It comes down to money. You wave enough money at people and they will crumble. It doesn't manner that you're left with nothing.

Yes, I do support the people that are fighting for their open space. It is important to them. Unfortunately, it doesn't translate well enough to make a solid case to keep the land. The land isn't creating any revenue as it is. It doesn't serve any purpose. You may argue that keeping that open space increases the value of the property. I can't help but feel that they are fighting a lost cause. It all comes down to money. No one grasps this completely. Why? I don't know.

I'm still hoping for a good outcome here. I pray that the residents will win the battle for their open space. I just can't predict what will happen. It does seem messed up that these elected officials weld so much power. It also doesn't seem fair.

Fighting For Freedom: The New World Order

We should have expected it. We didn't. The environmentalists under the guise of saving the planet have rallied around Agenda 2030 which allows the UN to take over all the world's governments. At first, it will be voluntary to get to sustainability levels of production. Governments will voluntarily push their citizens to accept the rationing of certain substances.

We should have listened. We didn't. We were distracted by things that just don't matter. We saw the evidence of disasters that scientists have said are worse than ever before now. The agenda says that we have to act now or risk losing everything. Yet it is false. Freedom loving people won't stand for UN control of their government to save themselves.

We should be fighting against this global control. We aren't. America has been weakened by the pressures that the global union has set in place. They have ignored us because they think we are weak. Will they listen to us? I fear not. The agenda is set. The global union will go forward to create this new world order without us.

I read this article: UN Summit Seeks "New World Order" to "Transform the Way We Live" and felt sick. There is nothing to be done here. They are going ahead with this whether or not the US goes along with them or not. There are many in Congress that want this New World Order. They just don't understand what they'd be giving up here. I admittedly am a bit frightened by the ramifications of these actions, but know that God is in control. He controls the environment. He brings people in power and he knows my every need.

A Loss of Freedom: Fugitive State

We heard a lot about the loss of freedoms lately. We also heard that climate change will be the death of us. We understand that many of the colleges and universities are getting rich while young people sink in debt.

The fugitive state is here. The forcing of vaccinations on all citizens is being pushed through Congress. Giving money away so no one will balk. I've been really trying to process all of this stuff. I do feel a bit lost. Will we live in a dictatorship when it's all said and done? I don't know.

I can't focus on the crazy stuff anymore. I try to remain sane.

Reflections on Time and Space

When I started this blog back in 2009 one of my main focuses was on time and space. The title of the blog reflects this. I realized as I moved forward that the blog kind of morphed into a reflection of the times in which we all live. Many of us have suffered over the past eleven years. I still can't wrap my mind around the fact that it's been that long.

I met a lot of people during the time I was gainfully employed in Center City. I learned a lot of hard lessons which I incorporated in a yet unfinished novel. I remember the huge novel that I started while working for one place back in 2003. I did finish that one, but have left it on the "shelf." My writing had taken a turn by 2011. I decided to take my mom's advice and write about something I knew. I decided to write about my hometown. The book sold well for the first few months but sales dwindled after that time.

When I reflect on the people I've met because of the book I realize that I've been blessed. So many would have wallowed in despair but I didn't. I marveled at the history I was learning and felt blessed. I know I wouldn't have met these people any other way. My eyes have been opened to the rich historic treasures we have here in abundance.

I heard a lot of rumblings about government control. I've experienced it. Yet I can honestly say that I wouldn't be where I am without some government control. I grant that I'm leery about the direction the government is taking now. It doesn't seem right somehow to force someone to do something they feel strongly against doing. I wonder at how the world will be like for my little nieces and grand nephew.

When I reflect on God I realize that I am in the right place in his divine plan. He does hold me in the palm of his mighty hands. I don't have to stress about the condition of our country or what is going on. I can rest because he has control of both time and space.

I do stand in awe of the Lord's power. I know I can trust him in all things. He is the Alpha and the Omega. He guides me through troubled waters. Someday I will stand on that far shore where the pain is no more and rejoice to see him welcome me home.

Struggling to Understand and Fighting My Way Forward

I haven't been able to process things for a little while. I'm still struggling to understand why I'm still in the same situation I've been in for the past seven years. I have learned a lot during this period of unemployment and underemployment. One of the most important lessons I learned is to lean on the Lord. I'm slowly learning that I need to trust him.

I am fighting my way forward utilizing the skills that I've acquired during this period. It is interesting to see how the Lord is working in my life. I do still struggle to understand why things happen. Just today I experienced a trauma that will mark my life. Yet I can say with certainty that the Lord is with me. I know I would have freaked out if the trauma happened five years ago. I can be thankful for the support of my family and friends.

I praise the Lord for bringing the right people to help me. I did panic a little when it first happened. I wasn't sure who to call. I frantically called some people and finally got someone to help. I do feel a lot calmer.

I stop to think about what's happening in this country. I realize that the Lord is working it out. He placed the right people in the right positions. I don't have to stress for the truth will come out. The Lord upholds the righteous ones. As I struggle to understand everything and fight my way forward, I trust the Lord. He has my life in his hands.

Fighting For National Sovereignty: End of America as We Know it

Some might say that America died in November 2008. It is true that it was then that many of the things we took for granted started disappearing. It is also true that the Democratic party denounced God then. We saw the evidence of the loss of national sovereignty more clearly then as well. The concepts of globalism and embracing a global economy really didn't take off until then. We could deceive ourselves before then, thinking that it was only one sector of society that was being affected by the globalists.

Some may recall vague that some were predicting a collapse as early as the mid-1970s when the North American Trade Agreement (NAFTA) was established. You may not recall but I do all the commercials about the textile workers that lost their jobs because of NAFTA. You may also not recall the movies that focused on what happened when greedy corporations shipped jobs overseas. I do. I should have realized then but was way too young, what was happening to our country.

I often wonder what would have happened if the NAFTA agreement was rejected when it was first proposed. Would those thousands of jobs that were lost still be there? Would America not be in the position it's in now? We did lose our soul when those jobs went overseas. That is a sad but true fact. Today many jobs out there are with foreign companies that are doing business on American soil.

It is a well-known fact that globalization is a huge factor in what's currently happening in America. We lost our national identity and our national pride to the highest bidder. I admittedly did think before our current president got into office that this was it. There would be no more America. We would continue the downward spiral that the past president and all the other presidents before him had established to make us part of a new world order.

Unfortunately, some of us are only waking up to the fact that our national sovereignty is in peril. Sixteen states have wholeheartedly embraced this new world order and are eager to sacrifice their freedoms to be a part of it. If more of the states decide to join them in this endeavor, we will see the end of America as we know it. When I think about it, I do realize that we do need to fight for national sovereignty with everything we have in us. Our future depends on it.

The Forgotten Man: Abraham Lincoln

Today is Abraham Lincoln's 210th birthday. You might not have known it though because it was deemed that his life isn't worth celebrating anymore. Martin Luther King Jr. is celebrated more than Abraham Lincoln. His birthday is a National Holiday. When I think about all that Abraham Lincoln accomplished during his presidency, I get upset that no one seems to care anymore. He is, except for a few states, most notably his home state of Illinois, a forgotten man. It just doesn't seem right somehow that we dropped the Lincoln's Birthday National Holiday to combine it with all the other presidents. We really don't even celebrate the birthday of our first president, George Washington!

Yes, I do believe in civil rights. I also have a good understanding of all Martin Luther King Jr. did. I can't help thinking however that things might have gone differently if Abraham Lincoln hadn't done what he did to free the slaves. His strong leadership was the only thing that made a difference. He wasn't able to finish what he started, cut down as he was by an assassin's bullet. Abraham Lincoln set the stage for Martin Luther King Jr. and many others before him. It does seem a shame that for most of the country he is a forgotten man.

I guess I shouldn't be too surprised. Many people don't even know the father of our country anymore. Those who should be teaching this have managed to water down the significance of what George Washington and our founding fathers have done. I know that many are trying to downplay American history so it will be easier to accept a new world government. Yet, there is some light. God has not given up on America. God has seen us through many trials. Lord, help us remember and embrace the good that our country has wrought on its shores.

Learning From History: A Reluctant Global Citizen

We have learned from history that socialism sucks the life out of a nation. We've experienced this soul "sucking" this past week when the President basically acknowledged that he had no choice but to reopen the government. The socialists won a great victory. America as we know it is on its last legs. Some will tell me that there is hope. America can pull itself out of the morass and stand on its own. I want to believe that.

The 2016 election had given me some hope that we wouldn't be sucked in completely with the one world government currently being secretly formed. I don't know now if it is even possible to save the United States of America as a separate, sovereign nation. The global community is just too strong and unwilling to let us go. You hear it everywhere. There is no America, no real United States anymore. There is only the global community that sucks the lifeblood out of individuals.

No, it's not like Hitler's Germany. Some would like to suggest that it is. The left especially seems to want to paint our current status as a nation as backward. They are pushing hard to indoctrinate young people to embrace the new world order. Young people are vulnerable and highly teachable to this doctrine of global unity.

I am a reluctant global citizen. I didn't ask to be assigned to struggle to find meaningful work while trying to maintain my moral core. I didn't want to have to compete with a global workforce to find work. I am not comfortable with having to defend my faith against those who would use it as a battering ram. I weep when I see those that are barely getting by because there are just too many of us to support.

I admit that I'm not looking forward to the future of this country as it succumbs to the strong forces that are threatening to dissolve it. Yes, I know that God is in control. Yet I also know that this country has abandoned God. We are being foolish if we think that God won't take his hand away from us. God is a just God. He will, however, make a way for his people. I have to believe that or wallow in despair. He has been with me through this dark tunnel and he will guide me home.

Feeling The Affects of a Government Shutdown

If someone told me that I would be affected by a government shutdown, I might not have believed them. The government has shut down before now. I know that it has done it too frequently lately but it hasn't really affected me until now.

You may ask how it has affected me. The fact is that government shutdowns affect government services. Some of those services directly affect my quality of life. For instance, processing benefits have slowed considerably. There is also a concern that some benefits won't be processed at all due to the shutdown. I am affected when I know that those benefits are desperately needed. I don't know and can't speculate what will happen if those benefits aren't processed. The Lord knows what I need.

I am affected when I hear about the strife happening around me. I don't want to get into it but can't help but be drawn into it. I try not to focus on my own selfish needs here. It isn't productive to dwell on those needs. Yet I do feel stuck wondering what I can do to ease the tension and meet the needs of the people around me. I pray for peace.

There are some lessons to be learned here. We can wallow in despair feeling that everyone is against you or we can take courage and move forward. We can't compromise, even when it hurts. Compassion has to be tempered with common sense.

It has been hard to watch the mainstream media's take and the congress's take on the current situation. I'm trying to have an open mind on why this is happening now. I'm also trying to look at both sides and find the logical explanation for the shutdown. Congress is not giving any logical reasons why they won't allow those funds to be dispersed. Frankly, it has become terribly expensive and frustrating to listen to the "talk" and not see any action.

Another Year Starting Over and Moving On

The holidays are now gone. I can't say how they went for me. I did put up a small tree and took it down today. I also got some closure from the loss I've been feeling. I am glad that my parents are not living now. I know that's strange to say. Yet it is also freeing because I know where they are.

Older senior citizens are going to be and have been affected by the many changes going on in this world. They are less adaptable to them. I do know that they wouldn't have lasted long under the tremendous pressure being exerted by government and private industry to conform.

As I reflect and mull over the distressing news I heard from all corners, a still small voice echoes that God is in control. This season of life that I'm still in the midst of has taught me to trust him for all things. It is a daily lesson. He has richly provided for me. He knows my needs. I shouldn't worry about anything.

The new year is a perfect time to start over. One of the lessons I'm learning is to focus and pray about God's will in my life. I don't want to go back to the selfish way of life I had. It isn't all about me. I am moving on from a selfish and anxious way of life. I can share the love God has lavished on me. I don't have to mourn and carry on for a way of life that is now gone. I can't cling to the past anymore but I can use the lessons I learned to create a pathway to the future.

The world wants to think that they control me. In some ways, it may seem to be true. It is very easy to manipulate data to make it seem that something happened when it didn't. It is hard to believe anything anymore. Yet I do believe. I believe in Jesus Christ and the redemption I have in him. He is my anchor in this storm that I'm going through and he will see me through it.

Step by step I move forward into his perfect will. I am not afraid to start over and move on now. I know that the Lord is with me every step of the way.