A Reason to Rejoice and A Reason to Mourn

I've been reflecting a lot about my current situation lately. I realized that I've been unemployed/underemployed for the past eight years. It was eight years ago I was terminated from a job that gave me a steady income, but wasn't steady as far as employment status. In other words, changes in the corporate structure made my continued employment unstable. To be honest the employment status was precarious for a long time before I was actually terminated. Changes happened that I really had no control over. Yes, I admit that I still mourn for the stability that I used to have at the one site. When that site closed, I was left with a unstable environment which I made the best of for about three years.

The society just celebrated their seventh year of existence today.  I rejoice over the many friends I've made through the society. I know I wouldn't have made them if I hadn't decided to pursue historical interests. I do feel that I am making a difference by making people aware of their historic resources. It is frustrating though to not be able to find a secure position that utilizes the skill sets I've picked up. I'd love to work with documents, scanning them and preparing them for storage. I'd like to learn more about architecture and putting things together.

I do have to admit that I run ahead of God at times. I want things now. I worry too much about what's going to happen. I do have a reason to rejoice. My God is providing for my needs. He knows what I need before I even ask. It can be hard to push against the obstacles that stand in my way. I know I do have to trust him even when it seems as if everything is going "south."

The pressures of society to perform a certain way or act out in mourning sometimes overwhelm me. I admittedly get depressed as I struggle to find sustainable work that won't compromise my belief system. I do have a reason to mourn when I see the struggles of my fellow contemporaries. They didn't ask to be pushed aside. The rapid increase of technology has left them in the dust. Some have balked at trying to learn all this new technology. It seems impossible. It feels like losing bits and pieces of yourself to the World Wide Web.

I do have to choose daily not to dwell on the obstacles in my way. I have to choose to be happy and content to wait on the Lord for his timing. It is hard. You do want to run ahead to see what's out there. Yet I know that it is best to wait for his guidance.