It has been a little while since I last wrote this blog. I have been busy attending meetings of a newly formed organization. I've also watched my father deteriorate right before my eyes. It hasn't been a very good sight and one that has really taken its toll on all of us. Thankfully the hospice team finally agrees that it is time for some respite care. It will be good for Dad to get some rehabilitation as well. It can't be good for him to be stuck in that hospital bed.
This gives me a bit of hope. I can get excited about the possibility that this condition could get better with this respite. I can also have some time to really evaluate things as they stand now. I've gotten some good job leads too. Lord knows I do need some sustainable work. If I can do it remotely, it would be ideal for now. I would like to get out of the house though. It is hard for me to see him deteriorate so much.
I am still weary. There are days when I feel the world is collapsing all around me. I want to get off the treadmill that seemingly drags me down. Lord will provide is still my song. I have to continue to believe that. It is hard when you look at empty cupboards wondering where my next meal will come. I also feel quite helpless when I heard my Dad struggling to breathe.
Praying for a bit of hope in the midst of a disaster.
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