I'm finally starting to get a good handle on my current situation. It helped that the pressure is off to perform a task I'm just not able to do. I do have to admire my sister and brother-in-law in the way they have come around. No, the situation isn't ideal. Yes, there are still many things to do that I still haven't done yet.
I am in a pickle because I do have limited resources available. Time is ticking. The nightmare of being homeless hangs over me. I have to fight the despair daily. I do see some daylight. All is not lost. I can see that the Lord is using me here to help others who are going through similar situations. I do have to keep reminding myself that I'm not alone.
The horrible week is almost a fading memory. The ramifications of what happened to us linger. It will be sometime before everything sinks in and a new direction is formed out of the ashes. I can survive this. I just have to remember that God is in control, not me.
I can praise God even in the midst of this heavy trial. I know that I am not alone. I do have the support I need to move forward. Yes, my financial situation is still very dire. Yes, I feel a little helpless because I can't give my parents the support they need. I sometimes feel very guilty. I won't give in to despair as some would love for me to do.
I admit that caring for two people is very exhausting. I am weary, yet I continue because I have no choice. At least I don't have a loving choice. Some would say that I should desert them in their time of need. I can't and I won't do that. They need me. I need them. I admit that it is very hard to see them deteriorate. Some days I wish for a magic wand. Other days are special. I am privileged even though I am still in a "pickle" that I'm not sure how to get out of now. The daylight is faint. I can hardly discern it in the murky horizon. Yet it is there.
Tuesday, February 13, 2018
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment