Finding Meaning and Purpose in Life-Moving Past Crisis

This week was better than last week. I'm slowly but surely moving past the crisis that threw me for a loop. It is too easy to criticize when you're safe and secure in your own little world. You can even say that you should have done this or that. I know that I am doing the best that I can now. I can't listen to those people who find fault with what I do. They don't know me.

It is difficult to find meaning and purpose in life when you're in a crisis. You feel stuck. You are overwhelmed by all the choices. You feel frozen in place. Yet you know you do have to move. You can't stay where you are forever.

Last night I listened while the planning commission pleaded for partners. I understood that they were willing to just let it go. I have a good feeling though. I can't explain it. Someone is going to come and create something beautiful here. Someone will find meaning and purpose in their life by restoring this old building. I feel excited. I haven't felt this way for awhile. The Lord is going to work here, and it will be a miracle.

We definitely need some miracles. We need to start feeling secure again and stable in our environment. It is a long time coming. We just have to believe.

What will be the miracle? The miracle for me will be to see all these communities working together to create something beautiful. I believe it can happen. We can have vibrant and active communities without sacrificing ourselves to the globalists. We can establish a unique community, one that embraces good changes.

Lord knows we need some good changes to reverse the mindset most people carry about our communities. We need to be actively promoting good changes and help people reach their potential. We need to move past this crisis and grow from it, instead of wallowing in it.

Still in A "Pickle" but Seeing Some Daylight

I'm finally starting to get a good handle on my current situation. It helped that the pressure is off to perform a task I'm just not able to do. I do have to admire my sister and brother-in-law in the way they have come around. No, the situation isn't ideal. Yes, there are still many things to do that I still haven't done yet.

I am in a pickle because I do have limited resources available. Time is ticking. The nightmare of being homeless hangs over me. I have to fight the despair daily. I do see some daylight. All is not lost. I can see that the Lord is using me here to help others who are going through similar situations. I do have to keep reminding myself that I'm not alone.

The horrible week is almost a fading memory. The ramifications of what happened to us linger. It will be sometime before everything sinks in and a new direction is formed out of the ashes. I can survive this. I just have to remember that God is in control, not me.

I can praise God even in the midst of this heavy trial. I know that I am not alone. I do have the support I need to move forward. Yes, my financial situation is still very dire. Yes, I feel a little helpless because I can't give my parents the support they need. I sometimes feel very guilty. I won't give in to despair as some would love for me to do.

I admit that caring for two people is very exhausting. I am weary, yet I continue because I have no choice. At least I don't have a loving choice. Some would say that I should desert them in their time of need. I can't and I won't do that. They need me. I need them. I admit that it is very hard to see them deteriorate. Some days I wish for a magic wand. Other days are special. I am privileged even though I am still in a "pickle" that I'm not sure how to get out of now. The daylight is faint. I can hardly discern it in the murky horizon. Yet it is there.

An Horrible Week and Settling In for the Worst

When I last wrote this blog I was facing a family crisis. My sister and brother-in-law ganged up on me a couple of times threatening me with expulsion for not doing what they asked me to do. They couldn't understand my reluctance and fears. They still don't. It is irritating that they are making this out to be something that anyone can do. They just don't understand the risks.

I do want to talk to the doctor and get as much information as I can. I do believe that I was rushed to make a decision that could have severe repercussions. It has been a horrible week. I've only been able to manage things the past couple of days.

I'm settling in for the worst. I know that I need a clear head for everything that I'm going to be dealing with right now. In one way I am glad that they decided to take on the dreaded task. I do wonder however how long they can last or what happens when my loved one takes a turn for the worse. Will they still be there to pick up the pieces? The risk does increase each passing day, even though my loved one appears to be better.

Tonight was a little test. They passed, but what about the next time? I still feel very uncomfortable about the whole situation.