Trying to Come to Grip With Change

This week has been one of those "up and down" weeks. Some days I've felt the warm sun of God's love on my face and knew that I was following him. Other days I've seen the dark clouds of oppression and fear. I know God is with me. Sometimes it is hard to remain upbeat when it seems as if everything is falling apart in front of you. I have been trying to come to grip with change. Change is so hard.

Yes, I can see a very dismal future ahead of me. I know that if I focus on the bad stuff, then that very dismal future will become a reality. No, I can't see the beautiful promises that the Lord has for me. At least I can't until I put my hand out and trust him for my future. I've had to practice really hard today to remain positive that things will change for the better for me. Very tiny slits of light are beginning to light my path ahead. I have to hold on to them or sink beneath the waves of despair.

It is hard when you see the defeat on the faces of those you love. You know that they too are struggling to come to grips with growing old and appending death. I have no comfort to share with them, no solid reference for them to hold onto with both hands....I only have the One who has stayed beside me. I only know of his sacrifice for me. I rejoice that someday Death will be swallowed up in victory. Is it selfish to long for his return to redeem us? Is it foolish to cling to the hope that he loves me and wants the best for me?

Yes, I do still have a difficult time accepting change. It is hard to accept that someday soon the life I'm now living will be only a distant memory. Can I accept that the Lord has a plan for my life? Yes. I just have to be patient and wait on his leading.