Seeing things through another person's eyes

You never really understand things until you look at them through someone else's eyes. It is difficult to relate to them when you are only concerned about your own well-being. I have had to relearn this lesson a number of times. In some ways I am a slow learner. Some would say that it is human nature to care about filling your own needs before you turn to supply someone else's needs. Yes, I do agree with that statement. It is a lot easier to fill your own needs than it is to fill someone else's needs. Yet this is exactly what you don't want to do. It's selfish and self seeking to focus only on how you are going to fill your own needs. If you instead look outward, studying the people around you for what their needs are...then amazingly enough you will fill your own needs as well.

I've seen this in practice. Finding out what someone needs really isn't that difficult. You must first decide that you are going to take your eyes off your own situation. Worrying about all the bad things that could happen to you only saps your energy anyway....so why worry? Next, you should be open to listen. Listening skills can be learned. Good listening skills will help you define what the person needs and you may be able to provide. You will find some interesting stuff when you decide to shut off the "noise" and listen to others. Let the person know you're listening by: repeating what they said, asking questions and commenting on the words. Don't interrupt them while they are talking. It is rude...and makes the person lose their train of thought.

Write down what you plan to do and share it. Make sure they understand where you are coming from and ask for clarification of anything you don't understand. Once you do this, on most occasions, you can genuinely see through that person's eyes and resolve their problems.

Finally, step back and enjoy the colors of autumn. Their beauty is fleeting. Remember that when you feel like giving up on the human race.