Feeling like I'm out of time and options

I've been really struggling for over a week, feeling sick and weary of everything. I think that whatever is going around has settled in for a long stay. I want to feel better about myself. Some days though I struggle to even get out of bed. I have no motivation. Yes, I know what it sounds like...depression. Yet there are some peaks of light in this dark tunnel. I can see them in the horizon. Right now I feel like I'm out of time. I don't mean to say that I've heard some bad news or that I have a premonition about not being here any longer. I just mean that with all the too fast technology swirling around ever faster, I feel like I've left behind in the dust struggling to make sense of it all. What are my options?

I know I've felt this urgency lately to leave a legacy behind. I don't know what yet....but have been thinking a lot about the impressions I leave with people and on social media. I worked steadily over this past year to reinvent myself in some way.

How do I reinvent myself when I'm feeling overly weary and sick? First and foremost in your mind is the thought that this too will pass. I'm hoping that it passes soon. Then you weigh your options....do I want to stay home and sleep or continue pushing myself. I know that I have been pushing myself too much, and it is probably part of the reason why I'm struggling now to get well. It's hard though not to push.

Fighting against the electronic monsters of the age

Horrific things happen. You ask yourself why? You wonder if God is really out there watching or if as some critics say....he's asleep. I can say for sure that he is wide awake. How do I know this? He guides my every step. I understand that the world would like not to believe. I do....because to believe in God means that you have to believe that his word is true. Sometimes his word is scary.

What's even more scarier than that though is believing the lies the electronic media decides is truth. It's in believing those lies that walls that have stood the test of time start falling down around us. We end up fighting the electronic monsters that threaten to steal our souls if we let them. We can't let them. We have to fight against being regulated and processed like cattle on a farm. Yes it is true that there is a lot of information floating around that the electronic media presses on you without your consent. Yes it is also true that we don't get to choose which information is readily available and which isn't readily available. No it is not true that everything on the Internet is true. Unfortunately most people get their information from the Internet or through other social media outlets.

Like time warriors, we must be good stewards of the resources God gives us. This means that we need to self-regulate what we see, link up to and what we say on the Internet. We can't be lazy and slack off. We need to be ready to fight the electronic monsters of the age and win.

A week of scary changes-trying to cope

Yes, I am thankful for so many things. For all the bad stuff people say about technology, I have to say that in some ways it really works. As some of you are probably aware by now, I had to make an unpopular decision in regards to some of my on-line avenues. Standing up for what you believe is hard. You are going to make enemies for that stance. Even some of your friends will question you as to why you're doing it. What is the difference, they'll ask. You'll even question yourself about why.

What is done, is done. That is the bottom line. Once you associate yourself with ideals that you don't believe in, you are marked by those ideals whether you like it or not. Yes, it is scary to stand up against the wickedness you see around you. I am still trying to cope with the pure evil that I sense from those who believe strongly in those ideals. I do pity them too....and cry for their souls. They are lost, but are unwilling to be found.

That is why I did it. I do understand the hurt I must have placed on people's hearts because of the social aspect of the social medium. I'm also a bit amazed by it as well. I have to ask myself why do these people care so much about me? I am not famous. I just had one book published...and am struggling to bring out the good in the borough which I wrote about in the book. Maybe there is a lesson in all this. Maybe by saying no and taking the unpopular stand, I am in essence educating people that what they are condoning is wrong.

Right now though I am still struggling and praying constantly to the Lord to guide me. I realize more than ever that God is in control. He sees my needs, comforts me when I felt lost and gives me a heart for my enemies. Yes, I do pray for them that their eyes will be open to the wickedness and lies that have controlled their lives and open to God's love.

Coming off Easter week with a new understanding of the depth of Christ's Love

Easter is a time of renewal. It hurts to know the cost that was paid for that renewal. Sometimes it seems way too steep. You loose sleep, and the people you may have thought were your friends. They don't understand. How can they? Everyone around them tells that its okay. But it isn't. There are literally thousands lost. Why? Because they rejected Christ and his message. They made a conscious choice to embrace the darkness. Christ understood that. He knew and does know human nature.

He died so that we might have life. What does that mean? It means that he took on our sin debt on his shoulders. He paid the price, so that we wouldn't have to. Yet there are too many that turn their backs on that sacrifice. I pity the children of these unholy unions. They think they are so right, that they will be vindicated for their actions. Their day is coming....a day that I dread to even look at in the face. I don't want to be in their shoes when the day of wrath comes like a thief in the night. It will come soon.

Will you rejoice to see that day? Strangely enough I do, because on that day I will see Jesus face to face. Yet I also mourn for those around me who do not know the Lord Jesus Christ. The consequences will be severe for those who repeatedly deny the Lord. I shiver when I think about the coming wrath, for I know that there are too many that are "playacting" Christianity. They are not time warriors, I tell myself. How could they understand that this period of renewal when no one tells them the truth?

Awake....the time is short. The Lord is calling those who will follow him now. He will not wait for the stragglers or for those who have not prepared themselves to meet the Lord. Now is the time to stand up for your beliefs and follow in Jesus' footsteps.

How will they hear? How will they know that he is coming? He is at the door....in this season of renewal...he waits for the right time.