This Thursday Americans like myself will be celebrating Thanksgiving with family and friends. This year will be very different for me and my family though. We will be missing our mother and father. It really hasn't sunk in that I won't ever see their faces again in this life. I keep thinking that one day I'll see them again here on Earth. It's silly. They aren't coming back.
People mean well. They all say that they are in a better place. I should be thankful, but it still hurts. I can't help thinking about how really quick it was. Was it only this time last year that my father felt well enough to eat Thanksgiving dinner? I can still see him struggling though to swallow even then. I really can't recall that last real meal that he enjoyed. I know that Thanksgiving was his favorite holiday.
My mom wasn't a turkey fan. She loved pecan pie though. I made it for her every year until she couldn't eat it anymore due to her teeth. I didn't make it last year, but I did make pumpkin pie. I will miss her sweet potato casserole with the marshmallows. I know my niece will miss the green bean casserole she used to make.
I am finding it hard to be thankful right now. The pain is overwhelming as I try to process that my grandmother, mother, and father are now all gone. Everything is changing as the traditions I cherished are dissolving like snow. Lord, please help me through this veil of tears. Rid me of the feeling of being all alone. I am not alone. You are with me, Lord.
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