As much as I'm thankful for all the support I'm receiving I still feel a bit lost. I received a blow to my ego today and felt the ground fall beneath my feet. A income source suddenly dried up. It was my only income source. I am crushed but not forsaken. I know that the Lord has something better for me. Yet at this moment I am in a panic mode. There are some choices to be made. Choices that I'm struggling to make.
It is a huge obstacle in the road. I'm not sure where to turn or what to do. Lord knows that I need income. My heart aches now that this income stream has dried up. I know I have to pick myself up and do the hard things that I've been putting off hoping to continue this income stream indefinitely. Yes, you may call me a fool for hoping that it would continue. Yes, you may say that I should have seen this coming and prepared for it.
How do you prepare for yet another bruising of confidence and the feeling that things have fallen all apart? I relate to the recent Oh My Soul song by Casting Crowns. Right now it is so hard to lay it down and not worry about how I am going to recover from this loss. I know that I am not alone, yet I fear that I'm just not strong enough to handle all the stresses that are weighing me down. I am admittedly scared and it's not a good feeling. I have to trust that God's got this and he will open up a revenue stream for me.
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