Feeling Lost and Down-Election Blues

I'm feeling lost. It's not surprising that I should feel this way. Both sides of the election are painting grim pictures of the other side. I don't know where to turn. It is hard to listen to all the garbage that is being put out there.

I can't decide. I'm being made to feel like a pariah for my indecision. I understand the importance of this election. I do. I've been living with the consequences of eight years of bad government and the turning away from God. I've been threatened because of my strong faith in God. I know that part of the reason why I'm still in this situation is because the government has turned its collective back on God and has embraced the sins of homosexuality and depravity.

I am glad that I don't have kids. I see the struggles they have and know that their rights are being systematically destroyed by those who dictate what they see, read and hear. Some of my contemporaries say that this "caged bird" syndrome is all young people know. They are trapped in an electronic prison unable and unwilling to make choices on their own.

I'm feeling blue about all the violence, backbiting and downright lies that are swirling around in the air because of this election. At times I do fear that there will be a revolution. I often wonder if this is how they felt in the 1760s when the British tried to strictly govern them. They didn't have a voice then. We don't realize just how lucky we are to have that voice. Yet I fear that it is being taken away. I am concerned about the "body count" attributed to Clinton. It just doesn't make any sense.

I have to keep reminding myself daily that God is in control.

Don't Know How To Feel-Just Hanging On

Things are starting to gel a little bit from last week. I am feeling a bit better about what's going on. I still don't know how to feel about what I heard about the library last week. I am just hanging on to hope.

I know our country is in bad shape. I understand the hate that swirls around each candidate like a wreath. I want to do something but I'm not sure what that is. I embrace the little bits of joy that filter through the darkness. I keep my head up striving for mastery. Will I survive this "train wreck" of an election? Who knows?

All I know for sure is that God is in control. I saw him in the wreckage of an old historical church on Saturday. His form remained pure when all around him there was broken glass.

The pressure is tremendous to cast a vote. They tell you that if you don't that you're throwing it all away. I don't know how to feel about that. I feel that obligation and duty to vote. Yet there is no one I feel good about voting for. I am just hanging on hoping for a ray of light to penetrate this darkness.

I stand fast against the darkness. I do see a tiny bit of light at the end of this long dark tunnel. I feel hopeful about the direction I'm taking here. God will bless me. He has blessed me with so many opportunities to serve him. I'm grateful to be alive.

Lord will guide me. I just have to trust him.

Bogged Down and Stressed Out-Fighting Fears

Another strange title but it is how I'm feeling right now as I unsuccessfully tried to promote a baking contest. I didn't know what I was doing. I didn't have the right contacts that would be enthused enough to promote it. I just don't know what I was thinking when I proposed it.

I am feeling bogged down by all the responsibilities that have been laid at my feet. I am stressed out by trying to make myself heard. I am fighting fears and feeling sick over the devastation and future devastation from Hurricane Matthew.

I know I'm not alone. Even though sometimes it feels that way. I have been going through a lot lately. The latest shock was what the Collingdale library plans to do with all their non-fiction and reference books. I just felt sick. Why? Why would you throw away 22,000 books!!!! It is so crazy that I still have difficulty wrapping my mind around it.

Yes, it does seem like the government is trying to get rid of history this way. Throwing away old and relevant books and expecting everyone to rely on the Internet for information is crazy. I do admittedly take information from the Internet for my work. Yet I would love to have the opportunity to check out some old reference books to confirm my information. It's getting too hard now. They don't want to you to know the truth.

I am bogged down by the weight of oppression. When will it all end? My dad keeps hoping that Jesus will come soon. I do too. This world is not mine own.