I don't think it really hit me until this week that I've gotten down to accepting food stamps. I had a few people pity me. I could see the distain on their faces. I wish I could tell them that it really wasn't my fault that I got here. I know that it is. I'm still too stubborn to face the fact that I need to be more extroverted and more willing to take the disgusting jobs that no one else wants.
Something inside me still rebells at the thought. How did I get to this point? I don't know. I just know that somehow...someway I need to get out of this pit of sorrow and despair. I can't continue to wallow in it.
There are still jobs out there that I can do. I just need to find them...but I'm not sure how to do it. It is difficult when potential employers now see me as someone who is unemployable. They are wrong...of course. I have for the past four years worked voluntarily as the President of a non-profit organization. It hasn't been easy. Sometimes...just like with the job search...I felt defeated and lost.
I will continue to try to find work. I really have no choice now but to find something before my funds completely run out.
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