It kept playing over and over in my mind today. I know that some have become callous and cold over the terrorist attacks, but I just can't. Every time I hear something like what happened in Belgium this morning, my stomach churns and I grieve. I also wonder why God would allow it to happen.
It is also about this same time that I long for Christ's return. I know that most pastors and teachers are saying that it will be very soon. Sometimes that thought scares me. I have to re-evaluate my life and check my doubts and fears. I have to trust that God knows what he's doing by keeping me here.
It does scare me when I realize how percarious my position is now. I am less than a month away from being insolvent. It is hard to keep things going normally or act as if everything is going just dandy. I just have to look around and know that it isn't for anyone.
It may be just me. Maybe I'm not doing enough to push through the negativity around me. Maybe I just don't feel comfortable exposing myself like I've been asked to recently. Maybe I'm just not desperate enough. I don't know. I wish I did.
In this week when I reflect on all the Lord has done for me, I realize that he has opened my eyes to what he sees in the world. He weeps along with me for the lost souls stuck in desperate straits and not knowing the love he has for them.
The pressure he must have been under...knowing that he would have to sacrifice himself for the world. The pain he must have endured...not just the physical pain but the spiritual and emotion pain as well. To be separated from his father and have him turn away must have cost him heartache. Yet he did it for us. That still "blows" me away....I can't picture anyone willing to let go like that. Most of us cling to things long after they have served their purpose. We wouldn't willingly sacrifice anything...let alone our lives....Yes that is just what Jesus did that long ago Friday. Something to think about this week...
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