I should be happy. I should stop obssessing over the fact that I failed to secure that entertainment. I should be in a stable environment. I should keep pushing and trying to find that elusive job. I should be pushing to get more sponsors for the ad book.
I need to stop thinking and start moving. Yet I feel so burnt out. I know I need to stop complaining and do something. There are people out there that have had it worse than me. They have been able to pull themselves out of the hole and get gainful and necessary employment.
Why am I obsessing over this? Why am I not giving it to God? Do I actually think I can do it myself? What a fool I am!
I have stop obsessing over things that I have no control over. It makes me look like a fool. I did act like a fool tonight...but I felt a release. I'm not alone anymore. I never was alone. Oh, Lord...I feel like I'm banging my head against the wall while time ticks rapidly by. I know three and half years is too long to be in my present state of unemployment. It's warping my whole attitude on life.
I have been underemployed for almost a year now. I should be grateful to be making some money, but I'm nearing the "red zone" with my finances with this recent and very necessary withdrawal.
I'm glad to hear that there is a light at the end of this long and dark tunnel I'm currently residing in. I want to recover from this complete and total burn out. I want to reach out and touch the dreams I have of a place where everyone can learn the lessons of history interactively.
I want to get past this season of burn out and be regenerated to serve the Lord. May I serve him well and not myself.
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