Making It Through the Storms of Life

It has been a really scary week. The storm "mini tornado" that briefly whipped through our neck of the woods severely damaged homes and knocked out power for 100,000 people. I sit here now listening to the rain from another less scary thundershower that rolled through the area earlier this evening.

The storms reflect my feelings towards what has happened to our nation. It was a long time coming. We collectively turned our backs to God, allowing those who would perpetrate evil to have a "field day." Yes, I know that their day is coming. God's wrath will fall on them. Yet I still struggle to keep my head above the slime pit and the wicked storms. Lord knows that I've bit my tongue as my stomach churned at the evil direction this country is taking. I tried my best to stand through it, knowing that God doesn't allow anything that I can't handle.

I wept last Tuesday as I witnessed the pain of my dearest and best friend. I saw the Lord even in the midst of that horrendous storm. I know that he protected me and my family. I know that he protected my best friend. I know that he will protect us still when the consequences of these laws fully form. He knows my heart. He knows my needs.

I do praise him even now as the pressure increases to embrace the evil of the society around me. I will resist it to the best of my ability. Lord, give me strength to meet the foes and deliver me from the evil one. Grant us a refuge like you granted the pilgrims of old. Hide us in the hollow of your mighty hands. Continue to protect us from those who would denounce and destroy us. Provide, O Lord a way out through the midst of this evil and deliver us. To you, O, Lord, be the power and the glory forever and ever. Amen...

Striving for New Things While Embracing the Old

I have to admit that it hasn't been easy pretending to be someone I'm not. I can't seem to get past the fact that my temperament is basically shy. I want those new things though. I see the obstacles ahead of me. People pulling me in all sorts of directions. I feel dizzy.

I try to admit that I can no longer pretend to the people around me. They laugh it off. I feel foolish to know what to strive for with those new things. I can't articulate what I want. I'm in a bubble created by my own stubborness. Will I ever get past this feeling of hopeless and poverty?

I think about those people struggling now to survive in an increasingly technical world. I long to embrace the old...to go back to when everyone who needed a job could get one. A time when everyone knew your name and wanted to help you.

We have become too insulated from each other, even as we strive for new things. Forget the old, they whisper. It is no longer relevant. You have to do it this way. You can't do it that way. Don't embrace the old....give it up. They throw God in the backwater and forget that he created everything. Fools and hypocrites....believing that things will always be there...

What will be our future? With all our striving for new things, will we forget God? We are fools and worthy of his punishment if we forget him and his infinite grace towards us, his bond servants. I have to stop pretending to be someone I'm not. I have to start letting my light shine.

Lord, thank you for your creation. Thank you for your mercy. We are infinitely better with you than without you in our lives. You promised to make all things new. How we long for that day! We do embrace your eternal love for us that may seem ancient and old. Your mercy and grace is new every morning.

The Day Before My Birthday

No, I don't get much into birthdays. My parents kick up a fuss. They seem to expect me to acknowledge my birth and force me to go to a celebration. I tried to tell them that I really don't want the celebration at all. They think I'm callous. Maybe I am...

Yet I do hate the fuss. I want everyone just to leave me alone to celebrate my birthday quietly and without any fuss. I know that I'm going to hear it from my sister. She especially thinks that I'm going to "go with the flow" and attend the celebration "just because." I am very frustrated that they just don't get it. I don't want the fuss. I don't want to feel obligated to get something that the person probably doesn't really need....especially now when I'm in a crisis mode.

Why can't they understand? Why do they always have to make me feel bad for refusing to participate in something I can't believe in anymore? I told them that I'd much rather have just a card...then for anyone to get me something I can't really use. I know there are aching needs too....

I'd rather fill those needs. Will anyone understand that? Can I make them understand it? Oh, Lord...you know my heart. Please help me make them understand that I don't want this fuss and bother.