Rough Seas

I couldn't write last week. It is hard to write this week. I am going through some rough seas in regards to the organization I'm running. My Vice President quit for no reason at all. I'm feeling a bit sick in the stomach that two of the programs I attempted to run have fallen flat on their "faces." I know I do have support in getting the organization back up on its feet, but I'm wondering if it's all worth it.

I shouldn't quit. I know that. Too many are depending on me to keep things going. I have to admit that I don't want to quit either. If it remains a social club, would I be okay with that? Maybe...it wouldn't take much to make it that way. Some of the other historical societies do that. Yet I have a yearning to do more.

I can see why so many young and not so young people quit now. I sense the same frustration as they do whenever they come up with new ideas. All too often they get "shut down" and told that it can't be done. This is how I feel now. It is hard to admit that I'm ready to let the rough seas take me.

Is there any hope for me? Will I find some meaningful work soon? I hope so. I know that I can't go on like this much longer. I do feel like my heart has been ripped out with the whole situation. I am tired and like many of us long to go home to God. Yet I know my work is not done here. As much as it pains me, I have to move forward. Will I survive this agony? That I really don't know...All I really know is that God does care for me. He will give me the strength to move forward.