Fighting against time

I haven't been feeling well lately. Actually I've been struggling to do much of anything. You can say that I'm fighting against time and dwindling resources. Yet I have also been fighting against the perceptions of people that feel that I've given up. I haven't. They just don't realize how hard it is....and they won't until they are in the same situation I'm in now.

I have decided that I'm not going to dwell on my current state which is growing worse. Instead I'll focus on achieving some goals that I've set for myself. My biggest goal, of course, is to find a sustainable position that will both utilize my writing skills and make me enough money to support myself and my family. I have in the past month or so, gone in a different direction with my job search. I decided to see if I can't work for myself and contract myself out to various companies. I know I did try this last year, and have helped a lot of people, but am still struggling to find work that I can do. I don't like having to quit a job, as it leaves a bad taste in both my mouth and my former employers' mouth.

I know that part of my problem is my inability to focus on one thing and my lack of verbal skills. I am a good writer, but it just doesn't translate into my voice very well.