Have I given up or am I just too tired to fight anymore?

I have been asking myself this question while lying in bed suffering from a cold. Sometimes I think it's that I've just given up. Other times I think it's that I'm too tired to fight anymore. I have struggled to make sense of things, weighing the options and trying to see the big picture. I could give myself an "out" now. I have been pushing myself lately trying to fit in and not succeeding. Then I punish myself when I feel I can't do it anymore.

Is it wrong to want to walk away from it all? I do want to walk away, but I don't. Instead I continue to dream. I know God has something planned for me. I want to be ready to receive what he has for me. Yet I'm also frightened by the unknown. What if I fail again? Would I be willing to pick myself up and start over? I know that is what I really need to start thinking about now. Holding a pity party is not going to help me or anyone else. I need to emphasize my strengths, not my weaknesses. I need to grab opportunities and not wait for them to come to me. I need to deal with threats head on....even when I feel I can't move on.

I don't have time to wallow. I don't have time to get depressed and not do anything. I do have to fight the time wasters in my life...those things that suck the life out of me. I need a plan of action. I need to get back in there and fight.