Another really rough week, but am still holding on. I know that I'm going through this heavy emotional trial for a reason. Yet sometimes it still feels as if I'm in the depths of despair. There are many like me, especially during this time of year when everyone is expected to be joyful. I know in my case that it's very difficult due to a number of factors to be happy. I struggle daily with the forces of evil and lean heavily on the word of God to see me through. It's in the word that I find the true meaning of Christmas.
It's funny how sometimes when you least expect it, you learn valuable lessons such as patience, endurance and love for one another even when that person is unlovable at times. For example, my mother came home on Friday disabled from her injury and not able to walk very well. I had to be patient, knowing there wasn't really much I could do for her except fix meals and clean up. Not being able to do the things she had been able to do before made her cranky. I had to put myself in her shoes and endure seeing her in such a state. It hasn't been easy, but will be worth it in the long run.
Right now I need to focus on what my next steps will be. I have a lot of decisions to make soon as far as housing and finances. I pray continuously for God's guidance and wisdom. I thank God for his son who came to save us from ourselves and release us from the depths of despair. His precious gift of sacrifice for me is undeserved but is so appreciated. I think that is the true meaning of Christmas...that unselfish act of love.
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