Feeling drained but happy

I had a very successful event Saturday which left me drained but happy. When I first thought of having a history day, I didn't realize how much work it would entail. I was also hoping for more people to step up and volunteer. No one did. I shouldn't have been surprised at it. I know I am not one to volunteer for anything. I have to be asked to do it. Yet I can be happy that I had the right people helping me. Lisa was amazing. Sometimes I wish I had her energy.

I also started what I'm calling a desperation job on Monday. All of us have them. Those are the jobs you take when there is nothing else out there that you feel you are qualified to do. I hate phone work, yet this is the very thing I'm doing. I need the money, even though it is about a dollar less than I was making at Kelly Services in 2003. I keep praying a job that will pay me what I need to make to support myself and my family will open up soon. I'd love to have an office job....9 to 5...Monday through Friday. People tell me that it's not possible anymore...that people are working all hours of the day and night.

I'm not feeling up to going back tomorrow. I know I must. My present situation is too precarious for me not to go in and earn that money.

Preparing for greatness and living for the Lord

It's funny sometimes when you think that everything is coming up roses, only to find that you've been looking at the wrong flower pot. As some of you may know, I'm a student of history. I like to find out new things about people, places and things that have been around for a while. In some sense, it is almost like preparing for greatness or discovering a whole new world that you never knew existed. It's also funny when your enemies are extremely interested in what you're attempting to do for your community, only to find out the only reason they're extremely interested is that they long to find something on you that they can press. I know in my case, it is because of my stand in regards to sexual immorality. I've made myself pretty clear that it's unacceptable to me and I won't tolerate it.

Yes, I admit that this is a very unpopular stance...but if I'm living for the Lord instead of me...then I need to take it. I don't want people to think that I'm cold. I do pity those who are even now falling prey to the lies that swarm around them like bees to honey. They have no moral compass.

I guess that is why I emphasize the church so much...because they are supposed to be the beacons in a dying world. It is the churches that hold out their hands to those who are suffering. It is also the churches where there are true believers that suffer for their faith.

I think we all need to prepare for greatness and reach out. Only when they see us living the life the Lord wants us to live for him, will they really see the truth.

I should be happy that I now can look forward to a paycheck

Yes, that's right the long stretch of unemployment is finally over! I got a job. You think I should be dancing in the aisles, but I'm not. The thing is I settled for something that I'm not really that good at so I could have money coming in. Yet I don't think that it's necessarily a bad thing to cave in. She did call me just when I knew I needed money coming in. A lot of it is just nerves. I do feel like I am selling myself short. That's not the way you're supposed to feel...is it?

Even my father is getting into the act now....telling me how he failed at a similar job...sigh. I am grateful for this opportunity. I still have the feeling that something big is going to happen...that someone will notice my work with the historical society and what I'm attempting to do for the young people in my school district and hire me.

It would be nice to be asked to be a program director...maybe...at least $40,000 a year with benefits....and have the satisfaction that I'm helping a whole generation of young people discover their past and connect with the future. Is it a dream of mine? Yes, I have to admit that it is now. I couldn't have imagined it even a year ago, but with what I learned from the historical societies and their needs, I believe that the time is ripe for someone to be able to coordinate the efforts of the existing organizations through both new and old technologies and get more young people involved in local history. There is so much to do...and so many fields that history touches...that the possibilities are endless.