Longing for Spring

I long for spring. Winter is very tiring. I used to like it. Now I don't. No, that's not right. I should like it. But I don't. Why? Maybe it's because all I see is the dirty snow that stands like a mountain on the sidewalk, not melting because it's too cold. Maybe it's because my back, arms and shoulder aches with each shovelful of snow. I am grateful that I'm not, as yet, digging out from under a lot of snow. Yet I am still tired of winter. I am tired of feeling cold. I am tired of seeing nothing but gray skies. I am tired of having to be careful that I don't fall and break a bone while walking.

I remember when I was a child. I am not now. I remember the feeling of sliding down the hill near my house on a red sled. Sometimes I do wish I could do that again. I know that I can't. Maybe that is why winter is very tiring. I long for spring. I want to see the colors and see the new life growing. It gets very depressing when you look around and everything seems dead.

A duty to serve vs a willingness to serve

Today I had the not so unique experience to be selected for jury duty. I say it's not unique, because if you count it a privilege to vote, you must also count on being selected to serve your fellow citizen. Some of us, when confronted with the choice to serve, willingly do so. We don't consider it a duty, but a privilege. Yet, you never really know if your service will be accepted or rejected. I got a good lesson in letting God have the control he has always had. I know that it was hard. At one time, during the time when the bailiff called out names, my heart felt as if it was going to jump out of my chest. I know I shouldn't have reacted that way. I know I should have let go. It's like my pastor kept trying to tell me. Stressing over things you can't control only brings you grief and tells God that you don't trust him.

Knowing that I need to have the willingness to serve is only part of the equation. I must be willing to act when it comes the time to act. I do struggle with duties and responsibilities. I know my duties to serve others, but need to find the willingness to serve them. It doesn't work when it's just plain duty that has you serving, instead of the actual willingness to serve. This means that I need to start thinking positively, and not negatively about the circumstances and place the Lord has placed me. This is my time and place, and what I do in the Lord's name reflects on him.

Numerology and Signs of the Times

I read the various posts about the significance of this day. Some would say that it is a sign that the end is near when the numbers line up like today. Of course I don't believe that. Yet I can see that there is some logic in the study of numbers and their hidden meaning. I know that some believe that there are codes in the bible that predict each and every event in time. That amazes and fascinates me. It also re-enforces that God is in control.

Just knowing God is in control makes everything bearable. I can move forward, embrace what life has to offer me and not worry about what the future may hold. I can have joy. I just have to learn to let go and let God lead me to where he wants me to go. It will take time. All good things do. I can be thankful that he is willing to be there with me every step of the way.

Welcome 2011- another year closer to Glory

2011 came quietly at my house. We opened a bottle of sparkling grape juice and toasted its beginning....No banging of pans accompanied this as in previous years. I guess we relished the quiet, which in past years would have been hard to come by. I understand now why we didn't really celebrate the coming of the new year. Quiet reflection has its place, I know. It had its place here, but not for long.

I fear that the quiet will be short lived, as the blanket of evil smothers the good all around it. Even now my ears ring with what will come. Even now my eyes smart and tear with what will come. I can't breathe for the oppressive energy dancing from the heavens. I feel its tingle on my bare skin, and shiver in anticipation. The signs are everywhere you look. Signs that the Lord will be back very soon. Will I be ready for his return? I don't know. My fears and doubts assail me. I long to see the one who saved me from myself, yet I worry that he will reject me. That is my greatest fear.

They tell me time is short, and I should make the most of every day. Yet they don't know what I go through. Am I a fool to want to see the Lord in all his glory now? Am I cowardly not to want to go through the great tribulation? No. The Lord is the master of time and space. He holds it all in his hands. We need to make the most of every day.